Board 8 > ~*blindhobo ranks ALL 649 Pokemon*~ (for real this time)

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Jeff Zero
07/03/12 7:50:00 PM
#1:


I DON'T LIKE UGLY POKEMON.

Your input is appreciated, Battle Tent Trainer.

But seriously though, tag.

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blindhobo13
07/03/12 7:51:00 PM
#2:


The # in parentheses is their placing last time on the list.

#649: Nosepass
Previously: 493

17 years later and I still hate this just as much as the first time around. I mean, it just looks so stupid standing there with that look on its face. That bloated red nose is just terrifying. The biggest factor for me in ranking these Pokemon is aesthetics and while I do like some Pokemon who have overcome their objective ‘ugliness’ with competitive prowess or other redeeming qualities, Nosepass doesn’t have any. It’s not good competitively, nothing remarkable in the anime/manga department, it’s just a big dumb rock and it’s the ugliest Pokemon in existence. Game Freak creating 156 new Pokemon just means 156 more spots Nosepass can go down on my list. Dumb rock.

648. Garbodor
647. Conkeldurr
646. Gulpin (491)
645. Swalot (490)
644. Gurdurr
643. Regigigas (488)
642. Luvdisc (485)
641. Lickilicky (456)
640. Magcargo (417)


So here we have the ten worst Pokemon of all time (at this point in time). Nosepass has been spoken for. I don’t think the others will cause that much controversy. We have Luvdisc, Lickilicky, literally garbage, “literally has durr in its name” and some ugly blobs. As for Magcargo, it’s got testicles hanging from its face. It’s disgusting. I’ll take Camerupt for my Flame Body/Magma Armor thank you.
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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 7:53:00 PM
#3:


Whooooo-

Oh, ten already?

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GenesisSaga
07/03/12 7:53:00 PM
#4:


Gurdurrr < Conkeldurrr

Gurdurrr worst ever.

Tag.

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Jeff Zero
07/03/12 7:53:00 PM
#5:


Nosepass is uglier than Probopass? Probopass is a probomination.

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Jeff Zero
07/03/12 7:54:00 PM
#6:


We have Luvdisc, [...] literally garbage

Thank you.

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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 7:55:00 PM
#7:


I dunno man, everytime I look at Probopass I lol'ed, or at the very least smile. Points for that.

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Murphiroth
07/03/12 7:55:00 PM
#8:


Conkeldurr hate? Lame.

The rest of the bottom ten isn't too bad, though.

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MrsFrisby
07/03/12 7:57:00 PM
#9:


Magcargo is way too low. Everything else is good placement.

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blindhobo13
07/03/12 7:58:00 PM
#10:


Also people have said I have a generational bias but if I really do, it's certainly not conscious! I like the Pokemon I like because they look cool/cute/whatever and I guess it just happens that a lot of them are Gen I? We'll see if this is true as this list goes farther.
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blindhobo13
07/03/12 7:59:00 PM
#11:


639. Volbeat (487)
638. Illumise (486)
637. Seismitoad
636. Stunfisk

#635: Probopass
Previously: 492

I don’t really hate this thing as much as I used to. I mean it’s still another big dumb rock but it’s got one redeeming feature. It looks so absurd that its existence is humorous at times. I’m still perplexed as to why someone thought giving an evolution to the worst Pokemon in existence was a good idea but what the hell. What’s done is done. Maybe they have a quota of bad Pokemon to create.

634. Trubbish

#633: Klinklang
Previously: N/A

I like how their debut in the anime was pretty random and was just the writers realizing “oh drat these pieces of s*** haven’t made their anime debut yet. We better do it soon but in a way so we don’t have to waste an entire episode featuring these guys.” I’m pretty sure even they realized how stupid the gears were and just wanted to get their appearances over with ASAP. The episode they (just Klink and Klinklang though) debuted in was about Escavalier/Accelgor but they just decided to throw in a random gear sighting, interrupting the main plot for about two minutes.

I think it’s pretty easy to see why these guys are dumb. They look ridiculous, their awfulness escalating with each evolution. Also the names are just laughable. I suppose there’s some comedic value but again, that’s because of how dumb they are.

632. Klang
631. Klink

Seismitoad is gross. Stunfisk is derp. Volbeat and Illumise are wastes of space. 9 this time around to make the numbers more comfortable
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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 7:59:00 PM
#12:


I keep reading Stunfisk as Stunfist.

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blindhobo13
07/03/12 8:00:00 PM
#13:


Sorry to add to the clusterf*** of Pokemon-related topics already on this board but I am in a very Pokemon mood at the moment. Also everyone's talking about their top ten and when I thought about it, I didn't really know WHO was in my top ten. Opinions change very often and even when I get done with this list, my opinions will probably have changed again but I want SOME kind of stable ranking including the new Pokemon at some point.


Since I finally beat White and since I was thwarted of my plan last time to rank ALL the Pokemon by both myself (for being lazy) and Game Freak (for creating an entire new batch of the little ****ers right during my topic), I have to do this for closure reasons.



**WILL CONAIN SPOILERS FOR ANIME/GAME/ETC.* if anybody cares.

I DON’T LIKE UGLY POKEMON. But I am also a fan of the quirky/weird/some other cool factor so if the quirkiness (or anything) overrides the “ugliness” enough, it’s not ugly for me. Hopefully I can explain this better later. >_>

But since if I do individual write-ups for this, nobody will care and it will never finish, I’ll be doing reveals in sets of ten (or at least more than one). I still have some stuff left from before I decided to switch to this format. I realized I couldn’t be bothered to write a bunch of terrible write ups for terrible Pokemon.

This is going to last like a week. I swear. Hold on to yer butts. I don't even consider my opinions offensive but you will probably get offended. >_>
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MarvelousGerbil
07/03/12 8:01:00 PM
#14:


Good you're not "649. Mewtwo" guy...

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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 8:02:00 PM
#15:


There are people like that? O_o

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blindhobo13
07/03/12 8:04:00 PM
#16:


From: Natwaf_akidna | #015
There are people like that? O_o


some people will really surprise you with what they say is in their bottom 10
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MarvelousGerbil
07/03/12 8:05:00 PM
#17:


I can't for the life of me remember who it was (and it may have even been 493. Mewtwo back in the day), and it's entirely possible it was a complete troll list, but I distinctly remember Mewtwo being last on somebody's list.

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blindhobo13
07/03/12 8:07:00 PM
#18:


That was Para.
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StifledSilence
07/03/12 8:10:00 PM
#19:


=( aww I love Magcargo.

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blindhobo13
07/03/12 8:26:00 PM
#20:


630. Bronzor (481)

#629: Heatran
Previously: 489

This thing is so damn annoying. Change hasn’t been too drastic for Heatran competitively. It’s still a top-notch Pokemon. It has some damn good defenses to go along with that Steel typing, has a good movepool and can pull of a variety of roles, both offensive and defensive, which infuriates me since I don’t even know what kind of set they’re running if I ever go up against it. I’d never run a Heatran on my team because it’s too ugly so that means I’m always going up against it if I see it.

#628: Magmortar
Previously: 475

lmao. Next!

I had to give it its own write up to emphasize how stupid it is.

#627: Huntail
Previously: 479

I am ashamed to say that when my brother and I were deciding to trade Clamperls for Huntail/Gorebyss I wanted Huntail at the time. >_>
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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 8:30:00 PM
#21:


NOT THE ZONG-

Oh, Zor. Nevermind.

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MarvelousGerbil
07/03/12 8:31:00 PM
#22:


Well, Huntail>Gorebyss... I mean "wanting" something awful always sucks but if you have to pick, go with the hunter.

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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 8:32:00 PM
#23:


Is Huntail the strong one or the pretty one?

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Whiskey_Nick
07/03/12 8:37:00 PM
#24:


From: blindhobo13 | #020
#628: Magmortar


Why do people hate him so much?

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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 8:38:00 PM
#25:


The mouth and it's chubbier, maybe?

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blindhobo13
07/03/12 8:43:00 PM
#26:


From: Whiskey_Nick | #024
From: blindhobo13 | #020
#628: Magmortar


Why do people hate him so much?


because it's gross looking. and i actually like magmar
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KateWadman
07/03/12 8:44:00 PM
#27:


oh yeah we're doing these too

#17: Steel

I can’t believe there have been two Steel gyms! That’s one more than there needed to be. It’s so bland! I don’t like Steel as a type because it’s so good (i jelly). They can be incredibly hard to take down because of those defense stats and have massive resistances and are no doubt the type most likely to ruin my fun when I get off a successful Dragon Dance or other stat boosting move. Also it’s like the ugliest type.

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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 8:45:00 PM
#28:


Just once I want a Dark gym.

Screw E4 Dark types.

Oh, actually, did they change it in BW2? Or are the types still the same?

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MarvelousGerbil
07/03/12 8:45:00 PM
#29:


18. Grass IMO

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KateWadman
07/03/12 8:46:00 PM
#30:


From: Natwaf_akidna | #021
NOT THE ZONG-

Oh, Zor. Nevermind.

>_>


626. Palpitoad
625. Bronzong (483)
624. Magnezone (469)
623. Tangrowth (443)
622. Bibarel (446)

#621: Wailmer
Previously: 476

Wailmer looks really stupid and every time I see it I’m haunted because it’s a reminder of how stupid I was Pokemon wise. Back when I was first introduced to the concept of natures, EVs, etc. and really competitive battling, I got this crazy idea where in my box I would have one of every fully evolved just sitting there in my box so I could pick and choose like a boss whenever I battled someone. It’s still a really cool idea but it takes so much work which back then I didn’t fully grasp.

So I started breeding for egg moves, natures, etc. This was before the Everstone Nature trick and Magma Armor/Flame Body to halve the number of steps because it was in Sapphire. So that’s 10,240 steps per egg for it to hatch and I’m pretty much relying solely on luck to get the ‘right’ nature. I put right in quotes because it doesn’t really matter what nature you have for Wailmer/Wailord because it honestly is NOT WORTH IT. It sucks. So you can chalk this up to bitterness at my own stupidity and lost time as a consequence but Wailmer is the symbol of obsessive stupidity for me. I mean, of course I foolishly raised other Pokemon that I didn’t really care about but Wailmer is already so stupid and by far the one I dislike the most. After realizing I wasted all that time, I looked over the many boxes filled with useless, newly hatched Pokemon I didn’t care for and Wailmer sat there looking at me with that stupid look on its face. Taunting me. And when I tried to release one, it always came back.

All I needed to do (at most) was to get that thing to level 40 so it evolved, I got the Dex data and I could have shoved that thing into my box for all of eternity but I had to keep chasing after that perfect fat whale. Moby Dick.

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Natwaf_akidna
07/03/12 8:48:00 PM
#31:


There we are.

NOT THE ZONG!

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blindhobo13
07/04/12 12:06:00 AM
#32:


620. Feebas (464)
619. Purugly (474)

#618: Registeel
Previously: 449

A new generation didn’t stop the worst legendary trio from continuing to be the worst legendary trio. They look awful. A bunch of old farts who you have to get two other useless Pokemon for just to get a chance at them.

617. Regirock (448)
616. Regice (447)

#615: Happiny
Previously: 452

What the s***.
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Natwaf_akidna
07/04/12 12:08:00 AM
#33:


I dunno, I kinda like Regice.

But yeah, did the Chansey/Blissey freaks really needed another pre-evo?

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blindhobo13
07/04/12 12:10:00 AM
#34:


614. Rhyperior (462)
613. Cryogonal

#612: Munchlax
Previously: 444

This little bastard is so annoying and goofy looking that I wouldn’t want to put up with it at all if it didn’t evolve into Snorlax (which didn’t need a pre-evo anyway).

611. Alomomola
610. Relicanth (482)
609. Tympole
608. Bonsly (451)
607. Eelektrik
606. Gothita
605. Watchog
604. Lombre (480)
603. Beldum (471)

#602: Metang
Previously: 468

I can’t even say it’s a little better than Beldum because it’s not. I have the exact same amount of indifference for it as Beldum.
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blindhobo13
07/04/12 12:11:00 AM
#35:


#601: Unown
Previously: 465

You can’t talk about useless Pokemon without talking about Unown. They only learn one move, have horrible stats, can’t evolve, look abysmal, have a dumb name, and there’s 28 of the damn things. But out of all the Pokemon they could put in DP as part of the Sinnoh Dex, Unown was one of them. Why? A lot of things got left out of DP and Unown took one of the spots in the Dex. Frustrating beyond belief. When I collected Pokemon cards, I kept them in a folder so I could organize them in numerical order. But since there were multiple forms of Unown, there were multiple cards for them. Who even wants a card of all the Unown?! Anyway, since I only had one slot for Unown’s number in my sheet, the slot got overfilled and is now close to tearing. And the ruins that always involve these are pointless too. Third movie was not that good either. F*** Unown.
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mcflubbin
07/04/12 12:14:00 AM
#36:


Purugly way too high.

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Natwaf_akidna
07/04/12 12:19:00 AM
#37:


Ahh Beldum.

Absurdly low catch rate, can kill itself with Take Down, AND a chore to raise? A deadly combination.

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blindhobo13
07/04/12 12:19:00 AM
#38:


Also I just hate that line.
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KateWadman
07/04/12 12:21:00 AM
#39:


#16: Rock

Rock has got to be one of the most pointless types. There’s almost no pure rock types and the only thing it does is add quadruple weaknesses to a bunch of things. Okay maybe that’s a little extreme but I look over the Rock types and there’s barely any I like. This is another not-so-beautiful type.

Also, SO MANY ROCK GYMS. TOO EZ.

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Natwaf_akidna
07/04/12 12:25:00 AM
#40:


Gigalith was a total bro on my White Playthrough. And Golem/Rhydon dominated early gen, didn't they?

But yeah, I'll drop a rock for a ground most of the time.

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KateWadman
07/04/12 12:29:00 AM
#41:


From: Natwaf_akidna | #040
Golem/Rhydon dominated early gen, didn't they?


yes but they were both ground types too lollll. and i think the strongest rock move back then was rock slide. that's terrible.

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KateWadman
07/04/12 11:43:00 AM
#42:


From: MarvelousGerbil | #022
Well, Huntail>Gorebyss... I mean "wanting" something awful always sucks but if you have to pick, go with the hunter.


it's not really like i "wanted" them. i just needed them for the dex. i'm still mad that i almost completed the hoenn dex and never finished it because one of my friends wouldn't trade me a treecko. =/

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MarvelousGerbil
07/04/12 11:51:00 AM
#43:


Yeah I was 2 Pokemon off in Emerald. Gorebyss and Latias.

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GenesisSaga
07/04/12 7:50:00 PM
#44:


How sad. I wasn't even close to completing my Dex in Gen 3, so I have no bias against the stuff I never managed to collect.

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StifledSilence
07/04/12 8:25:00 PM
#45:


I completed 1, 4, and 5 dexes. But I definitely feel your Huntail/Gorebyss pain. Those were very annoying to get.

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blindhobo13
07/05/12 1:24:00 PM
#46:


i will never get to finish a dex

sigh
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MarvelousGerbil
07/05/12 2:04:00 PM
#47:


It's not that hard to finish a dex. I mean, it's harder now because there's so many of them, but it's really just time consuming.

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KateWadman
07/05/12 2:05:00 PM
#48:


also link cables sucked

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MarvelousGerbil
07/05/12 2:07:00 PM
#49:


I legitimately couldn't find link cables when I was playing Red. I had a friend with Blue, we were going to finish our Pokedexes, but we didn't have the damn cable.

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blindhobo13
07/05/12 3:37:00 PM
#50:


yeah one of the problems with older games
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