Board 8 > I think these last two weeks I've been more of an adult than I've ever been

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Dark Young Link
08/27/11 2:46:00 PM
#1:


Before, I was content in just sitting by in life. Letting other people make important decisions for me. A pushover. Sadly this includes my major. This would end up being a decision that would be a bigger and bigger pain in the ass as the months went on. Sure it was fun at first, but I started to realize that 1) This isn't quite the career I want and 2) I really do need to take a break due to all the stress going on in my life. So one day I made one of the first adult decisions in years. I decided that I wanted a different major, and I wanted to take a break. No going along with my mom, or letting anyone else influence me. If I **** up, well at least I know it was my decision to make.

As for today? Well I decided to end a nine year online relationship. Yes I know what some of you are probably thinking about that... I was always the naive type. I always thought "This can work, we might be able to meet one day!". I mean you interact with someone for so long, you'd think you get to know them and become closer to them. It was good, for the most part. It was either three speeds. 1) An awesome high. 2) Meh 3) A terrible low. The extremes were slowly starting to get to me, and well it's funny because I was warned about this before I was 16. "If she really cared for you, would she willingly put you through this, knowing you're suffering", when we were going through one of those low points.

The last two years? A lot of arguing, a lot of disagreements, a lot of me feeling like **** because I couldn't be that knight in shining armor. Not to mention I felt like I couldn't do much. If I hung out with a friend that she didn't particularly like, it was assumed I was on the friend's side. If I said something that could be taken multiple ways, the worst possible way was always chosen. Any explanation I had was written off as excuses. It was like I couldn't do or say anything without violating a sacred oath, the last few days were especially hard. Not at all helped by the fact that a day before we were really getting close. So it was high, low, high, low, meh, low the last few days.

I finally told her that I was done putting up with the abuse. I told her that our relationship was not healthy and that I shouldn't have to triple check my every action and sentence, just to make sure she couldn't find some way to twist it around and make look like the bad guy. Am I the alpha male that can bang any chick he wants? Hell no. But I'm good enough to not deserve being ****ed around like that anymore. So even though this didn't work out, I think I learned a lot.



Not sure what I'll do next. I'm losing interest in the things I used to do. Video games are still kind of nice, but I'm not so sure about the online community(at least the ones I go to). Guess I'm finally getting tired of being in the house all day. Hell if I had my own place I'd consider actually dating soon. Maybe a few one night stands can be a good thing? Eh, I don't know. I'll worry about that when this whole...mess... is completely over with.


So how have you been board 8?




tldr: I started making my own decisions in life, two of them involves college and a girl. That being a "nice guy" requires you to be strong not just for the sake of others, but for yourself. Also I'm required by GameFAQ law to type walls of text, does this suffice?

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Mershaaay
08/27/11 2:46:00 PM
#2:


csb

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Aecioo
08/27/11 2:47:00 PM
#3:


She didn't like some of your friends and you had never even met her? What? Please don't mean "hang out with other online friends instead of your online girlfriend"

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Dark Young Link
08/27/11 2:52:00 PM
#4:


Aecioo posted...
She didn't like some of your friends and you had never even met her? What? Please don't mean "hang out with other online friends instead of your online girlfriend"

I do. Except add "or talk to" after "hang out with"

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Diet Water
08/27/11 2:54:00 PM
#5:


There is one major decision you make in life:

1. Ambition
2. Love


What's more important to you?

(btw I didn't read the opening post)

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GranzonEx
08/27/11 2:55:00 PM
#6:


Why did you put up with it for so long? There are millions of fish out there.
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Dark Young Link
08/27/11 2:59:00 PM
#7:


Why did I put up with it for so long?


A very good question. I guess it's because I'm still somewhat inexperienced in relationships. I figured "It'll get better, these things can't be wonderful everyday". Plus we've known each other for quite a while(as much as you can "know" someone without having ever met them), so I shouldn't just quit so easily.

It had to have been a self-esteem issue thing as well. Keeping quiet for so long...

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Revenus
08/27/11 3:04:00 PM
#8:


Pretty sure there are several problems with this topic in general.

One is that adults do not generally have to consider how "grown-up" they are. They either are or aren't.

Two is that most adults do not indulge or acknowledge that they have been "romantically" involved with someone they have never met for over 9 years.
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Seginustemple
08/27/11 3:06:00 PM
#9:


Well...how far away did she live? And...pics? I mean, you don't just talk to a girl for a decade without seeing her unless she's foreign and really hot

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TheCodeisBosco
08/27/11 3:07:00 PM
#10:


Dark Young Link posted...
That being a "nice guy" requires you to be strong not just for the sake of others, but for yourself.

Real talk: this might be one of the most important life lessons you'll ever learn.

Glad you're taking your life back, man. You must have a zen master's patience if you put up with that relationship for so long. >_>

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Revenus
08/27/11 3:09:00 PM
#11:


TheCodeisBosco posted...
Dark Young Link posted...
That being a "nice guy" requires you to be strong not just for the sake of others, but for yourself.

Real talk: this might be one of the most important life lessons you'll ever learn.

Glad you're taking your life back, man. You must have a zen master's patience if you put up with that relationship for so long. >_>



Or maybe he's so unattractive IRL that he feels he will never be able to obtain any other kind of relationship.
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VincentLauw
08/27/11 3:09:00 PM
#12:


http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/400-current-events

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Seginustemple
08/27/11 3:13:00 PM
#13:


On second thought I don't know how a hot girl stays in an 'online relationship' without having real relationships on the side...

honestly I just want to see the grainy webcam still that you talked to for nine years

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TheCodeisBosco
08/27/11 3:15:00 PM
#14:


Revenus posted...
TheCodeisBosco posted...
Dark Young Link posted...
That being a "nice guy" requires you to be strong not just for the sake of others, but for yourself.

Real talk: this might be one of the most important life lessons you'll ever learn.

Glad you're taking your life back, man. You must have a zen master's patience if you put up with that relationship for so long. >_>


Or maybe he's so unattractive IRL that he feels he will never be able to obtain any other kind of relationship.


Nobody should ever feel that way. For ****s sake, if Steve Buscemi can find someone, anyone can. :P

(Sorry, Steve!)

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Revenus
08/27/11 3:17:00 PM
#15:


Buscemi is a movie star. Dark Young Link is some guy who managed to be fooled for 9 years. There's quite a difference here.
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Dark Young Link
08/27/11 3:23:00 PM
#16:


http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/400-current-events


Eww...


Or maybe he's so unattractive IRL that he feels he will never be able to obtain any other kind of relationship.

Nah. I have decent enough looks. I'm planning to get into better shape than I am right now though. As for the...relationship.. it started off as simple friendship, and I was around 14 at the time. I'm not sure when it turned romantic, but it had to have been around halfway through.

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