Chief/Revan/Joanna/Big Boss/Kefka have challenged Jake/Duke/Bryan/Fou-Lu/KOS-MOS to a fight! Location of the fight: neutral, nondescript terrain. Which side will win?
Guidelines
- The fight will occur in real-time (like an FMV sequence). Gameplay mechanics are less important than how the characters would function in a real-time environment.
- The members of each team are ideal teammates capable of a pre-selected plan of battle.
- "Broken" refers to a lot of things, including insta-death, auto-effects, a variety of status effects (e.g., Imp, Silence, Stop, *not* Poison), and revival. Unless stated otherwise, nobody has them, though do use your own discretion.
- There may be SPOILERS from all of the games the characters are from.
Rules for Voting
- Bold your votes (using <b> and </b>).
- Provide a justification for why you think the selected team would win. Fanboy logic, ignoring character assumptions or rules, and vague or unintelligible justifications are all grounds for having your vote disqualified.
- If you want to switch your votes simply bold the change; there's no need to delete your post, though you may if you wish.
- This match will end in 24 hours.
Master Chief is as he appears by the end of Halo 3. He is equipped with his SPARTAN-II armor and rechargeable energy shield. He brings a Shotgun, Energy Sword, Assault Rifle, Battle Rifle, Rocket Launcher, Gravity Hammer, Needler, Dual Brute Maulers, and Flamethrower with him into battle. He also has a single Deployable Cover. And yes, as long as they don't contradict the games, the novels are valid. Duke has planted his boot into a Chief's face. Any and all headgear has been destroyed and the kick has gone through, full force, as if there were nothing there.
Joanna Dark is as she appears in Perfect Dark. She is equipped with a Crossbow, Laser, a handful of combat knives, RC-P120, Sniper Rifle, Laptop Gun, Shotgun, Tranquilizers, N Bombs, and Slayer. Additional gear on her includes a Shield, Bombspy, Drugspy, Horizon Scanner, X-Ray Scanner, Cloaking Device and Combat Boost.
Big Boss is as seen in Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker in his Battle Dress w/ Helmet. He has his M47, Railgun, M134, EZ Gun, K Pistol, Claymores, Stun Grenades, Bandana, Stealth Camo and Stun Bomb Box. Big Boss has decided to throw out every type of Box he has onto the field, filling the battle with boxes everywhere.
Revan is as he appears in Star Wars: KOTOR. He is a male villainous scout guardian, has access to his best non-broken equipment and access to all his Force powers as seen in KOTOR save for those in the Persuasion, Stun, Shutdown, Strangulation, and Fear chains. Jake has gone on a suicide run, blowing up both himself and Revan. Both fighters have been KOed.
Kefka is as he appears in Final Fantasy 6 (Advance) in the last battle. He does not have access to Trine, Heartless Angel, or Hyperdrive, but he does have all his other moves used in the boss fight. He additionally has all his Brave and HP attacks from Dissidia: Final Fantasy, as well as the Exhilarating Magic skill, and these attacks all function as "normal attacks," i.e., there's no weird Brave mechanics involved. Duke has caused Kefka to randomly turn into a busty woman. He has magically lost all his clothing and dropped his equipment and will dance uncontrollably for the first 30 seconds. He will be unable to fight while dancing. Afterwards, he will return to his original form, though he must still put everything back on. All other fighters, friendly and otherwise, will tease Kefka constantly through the battle.
Jake Armitage is as he appears in Shadowrun, with maximum possible stats and all cyberware upgrades. He brings to battle his Ruger Warhawk pistol, Defiance T-250 shotgun, Uzi III SMG, HK227 assault rifle, AS7 Assault Cannon, full body suit, and all his spells.
Duke Nukem is as he appears in the Duke Nukem series. He possesses his Freezethrower, X-3000, Explosive Ammo Shotgun, and RPG. He also has his Jetpack, Night Vision Goggles, Scuba Gear, and Holoduke from Duke Nukem 3D. Saxton Hale has granted Duke the power of AUSTRALIA. He has grown a MANLY MUSTACHE and speaks with great gusto, being immune to anything that would affect his mindset. In addition, he has gained AUSTRALIA MUSCLE MASS, doubling his raw physical strength, weight, and charisma.
Bryan Fury is as he appears in Tekken 6. He has access to all his moves and techniques save for any gameplay mechanics. Regarding weapons, he has all those that he wields in the game, including the gatling gun and rocket launcher from his ending. And yes, he's every bit as durable as he canonically is.
KOS-MOS is as she appears in Xenosaga 1, though she does not have access to Gate, Satellite, or S-Chain. She's strictly in her Red Eyes form, has access to only her techs as well as Shion's transferable ones minus Revert, all her weapons save for F-SCYTHE, and is in her best non-broken equipment. A piece of cheese has appeared at a point in the terrain equidistant from both teams. KOS-MOS will constantly feel a powerful urge to go to the cheese. Its thoughts will focus solely on the cheese, which it feels would be crucial to its victory. The cheese itself isn't special at all.
Fou-Lu is as he appears in his playable form in Breath of Fire IV. He has access to most skills and magic from his playable hybrid forms and can transform into any of his playable non-Tyrant/Infini hybrid forms, though he cannot use breath attacks. He is in a berserker rage.
Alright, so Revan and Jake are dead, it's a four on four. For starters, Duke kicking Master Chief is going to do next to nothing to him. Augmented super soldier, super reinforced bones, his forcefield (kick bypasses his helmet, but says nothing about the field). Kefka is dancing for 30 seconds, at which point he's naked...which doesn't mean much of anything, given he wasn't dressed in anything but a robe to start with and didn't have any equipment. Dancing's probably about over by the time the teams meet, or close to it. KOS-MOS is immediately abandoning her team to go fetch the cheese in the middle of Neutral, which is conveniently covered up in a bunch of cardboard boxes, so she's gonna be stuck for awhile. M47 missile from Big Boss probably takes care of her, since she was never the most durable thing on two feet. If the M47 can smash up a Metal Gear, it can smash up KOS-MOS, who got taken down by Shion carrying a pistol, of all things.
Speaking of mindless, Fou Lu is berserk, so he too is gonna be charging forward...right into the field of boxes. Big Boss's assortment of cardboard boxes include such lovely things as boxes that have frag grenades in them, boxes that have stun grenades in them, and boxes that have smoke grenades in them, all of which go off when they're disturbed. Fou Lu is going to be blown to bits as he mindlessly runs after my squad, and if he isn't finished off, he's in no proper frame of mind to deal with two far smarter and invisible guys in BB and Joanna, plus Master Chief, who can range whore him to death all day.
So with two of the other team not thinking properly and Leeroy Jenkinsing themselves, it leaves Duke and Bryan, both of which also have that nasty 'Traversing a box minefield' problem, and who are badly outclassed by my range guys anyway. Duke is human, and has no particular defense vs Joanna's drug based weaponry (Crossbow, Knives and N-Bombs all revolve around messing over your perception. Tranquilizer is just a flat 'She's injected you with an overdose of knockout drugs. You are now dead'), Bryan is nothing Big Boss hasn't already beaten in Volgin. And he did that with far inferior weaponry to what he has here.
TLDR, Fou-Lu and KOS-MOS are not in their right frames of mind and open to being picked apart by more clear headed people as they respectively berserker charge and hunt for cheese in an endless pile of boxes, Duke's kick ain't fazing Master Chief enough to matter, and Chief/Big Boss/Joanna are flat better than Duke and Fury. Soon as Kefka stops dancing, it turns into a stomp.
1. Kefka dies. Naked defenseless woman dancing uncontrollably. Neutral terrain; plainly visible from the start. Any of KOS-MOS/Bryan/Duke can shoot and kill her well before the transformation wears off. She is a sensible priority target -- it's Duke's ability, so Duke's team knows that it's a limited-time transformation and the actual merc is presumably much more of a threat.
2. Chief's unprotected and helmetless head is being booted by 2x strength, 2x weight Duke.
So it's pretty much a 4-on-2 match from the start. Neither of the two can take KOS-MOS in ranged combat. Neither of the two can take Fou-Lu in close combat. And KOS-MOS/Fou-Lu have backup, which they don't.
3. KOS-MOS is unlikely to be severely affected by the cheese. She possesses advanced combat AI designed to instantly compute the most effective means to victory. She's not going to be running around like a moron -- she can calculate that the most effective way to secure the cheese is to eliminate all opponents.
4. Stealth and invisibility won't save Joanna/Boss. Bryan's cyborg vision enables him to see invisible enemies. See, for instance, the Tekken 5 ending, where he uses his robotic vision to hunt down and kill a cloaked Yoshimitsu. KOS-MOS has advanced scanning sensors (see, e.g., the dialogue before the Cherenkov battle: "All photon, lepton, hadron, and graviton scans read negative"). She is also shown to have robotic targeting systems in the few scenes where vision shifts to her perspective.
-- another place and time, without a great divide, and we could be flying deadly high
Fou Lu is berserk, so he too is gonna be charging forward...right into the field of boxes.
Fou-Lu has flight in his dragon forms. Boxes on the ground are no impediment to him.
KOS-MOS is immediately abandoning her team to go fetch the cheese in the middle of Neutral
She's perfectly capable of run-and-gun. If the cheese is vital to victory, she needs to eliminate anyone and everyone on the other team who might attempt to prevent her from securing the cheese.
Duke and Bryan, both of which also have that nasty 'Traversing a box minefield' problem, and who are badly outclassed by my range guys anyway.
Duke's got a jetpack. Also, he's a gunner. He doesn't have to traverse anything.
Bryan has his gatling gun, so he doesn't have to go tripping into the world of boxes if he doesn't want to; he also has his inhuman durability (no-selling tank fire and masses of machine gun fire), so a single box hit won't kill him.
-- another place and time, without a great divide, and we could be flying deadly high
Fou-Lu has flight in his dragon forms. Boxes on the ground are no impediment to him.
Fou-Lu in a berserker rage is no way gonna have enough wherewithal to think 'I gotta fly over these boxes'. He's gonna bull rush and try to kill things with his sword. And then he's gonna go boom since those boxes explode when tipped over
She's perfectly capable of run-and-gun. If the cheese is vital to victory, she needs to eliminate anyone and everyone on the other team who might attempt to prevent her from securing the cheese.
No doubt she can shoot as she's running for it. Which'll wind up plowing her right into Big Boss + Master Chief, and then she's kibble. Especially if she's paying attention to the dancing naked guy/girl up there, as indicated above
Duke's got a jetpack. Also, he's a gunner. He doesn't have to traverse anything.
Duke raging with the power of Saxton Hale is not gonna go 'Man, I need to fire up my jetpack and FLY over there'. He, too, is gonna charge. And get blown up
Bryan has his gatling gun, so he doesn't have to go tripping into the world of boxes if he doesn't want to; he also has his inhuman durability (no-selling tank fire and masses of machine gun fire), so a single box hit won't kill him.
And Bryan's a homicidal loon, so assuming he'd gain some magic tactical genius is kind of silly. Besides, no one on your team actually knows those cardboard boxes are anything but cardboard boxes. They won't, until they've started knocking them over and getting exploded
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Fou-Lu in a berserker rage is no way gonna have enough wherewithal to think 'I gotta fly over these boxes'.
If I were in a berserker rage, and I could turn into a dragon and fly around to kill things, I sure as heck would. Especially because it'd be faster than going by land.
No doubt she can shoot as she's running for it. Which'll wind up plowing her right into Big Boss + Master Chief, and then she's kibble. Especially if she's paying attention to the dancing naked guy/girl up there, as indicated above
A naked dancing babe isn't going to have durability. She's OHKO-bait, and then KOS-MOS can go back to firing at the other enemies. Also, as noted, her combat AI will prevent her from acting suicidal like you suggest -- after all, if she gets killed, she isn't getting any cheese.
Duke raging with the power of Saxton Hale is not gonna go 'Man, I need to fire up my jetpack and FLY over there'. He, too, is gonna charge. And get blown up
You're misreading the ability. The version used on allies doesn't cause them to be dimwitted, only the version used on enemies.
And Bryan's a homicidal loon, so assuming he'd gain some magic tactical genius is kind of silly.
You don't have to be a "tactical genius" to pull out a gatling gun and start blasting enemies with it.
-- another place and time, without a great divide, and we could be flying deadly high
Team Duke. Chief, Joanna, and Big Boss all start off guns ablaze throwing out what they have and doing as much damage as they can. Bryan and Fou-Lu are tanky with Bryan countering fire with the gatling gun and Fou-Lu doing what Fou-Lu does in a berserker rage. Duke provides some fire and rocket launches, but he's even manlier now with the power of AUSTRALIA and bullets avoid his presence and as he strides forward across the box-strewn battlefield. He wants the hot, busty clown woman dancing in the nude on the other side. He goes and grinds up on the sultry, dancing harlequin. He is thoroughly enjoying himself and firing at anyone even aiming at the two of them funny. When he's ready to make this fight into an XXX pay-per-view *poof* Kefka turns back into a creepy naked clown man. Disgusted and enraged, Duke puts a boot through Kefka's head before the clown can do anything, makes him explode, and then fires upon everyone else surviving in the battle without any mercy or hesitation (like he would anyway).
If he somehow doesn't survive (which is an impossibility), KOS-MOS will still be standing with her massive durability. Will she be fighting? Probably not. There are a lot of boxes to check for cheese under.
Ability goes out of its way to say 'He's kicking through any helmets and acting like they aren't there'. Says nothing about any other guards he may have up
Not that it really matters, since being kicked even by a double strength human still isn't bothering Chief much
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Any and all headgear will be destroyed and the kick will go through, full force, as if there was nothing there.
It says it goes through as if there was nothing there. So it would ignore the forcefield. It doesn't destroy the forcefield, because it's not headgear, but it does bypass it.
-- another place and time, without a great divide, and we could be flying deadly high
It really doesn't matter. Chief's a crazyass supersoldier, with super strength and unbreakable bones. He survived falling over a mile to the ground with no damage at all. Duke's kick is not scratching him
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Yeah, between the KOS-MOS durability hype and the idea that a double strength kick from a human would take down Master Chief, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
KOS-MOS was probably the worst cheese target for DC. If she's willing to kill comrades to shoot enemies, I'd certainly give her credit to include "remove all potential obstacles" in any sort of cheese acquisition and protection mission.
Anyhoo, Kefka's dead weight, Chief will be disoriented from having his helmet shattered, and Drak's team is much tankier compared to DC's. Plus, berserk dragon hybrid does not spell fun for the very much human Joanna and Big Boss, much less KOS-MOS's gun collection, Bryan's gatling gun, and an Australium-augmented Duke Nukem backing said hybrid up. mo' fighters mo' money
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~*_We have come to te-SPACE LANCE_*~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MURDGxx7FJo
Duke has planted his boot into a Chief's face. Any and all headgear has been destroyed and the kick has gone through, full force, as if there were nothing there.
a Chief??!?! doesn't specify master chief
maybe it's tommy t
he's probabaly a chief of his indian tribe
-- I'm too tired to drive anywhere, anyway, right now, do you care if I praise Black Turtle? Call me numbers.
Duke wastes the first seconds kicking in the face of some random Indian chief. Unfortunately, that's only going to bring upon his team the wrath of the whole tribe.
Their arrows will blow out the sun. Chief and Bryan Fury are the only ones who can hack the assault of the tribe without issue, and Chief > Fury.
-- No problem! This is a cute and pop genocide of love!
DeathChicken posted... Twilight's was worse. He ignored the whole matter of the bloody minefield
easy to ignore something when it's not likely to affect the battle! Fou-Lu and KOS-MOS have the speed and reflexes to manage it, and Duke and Bryan aren't moving near it unless it's all over the place, in which case your team gets to deal with it as well.
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~*_We have come to te-SPACE LANCE_*~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MURDGxx7FJo
Fou-Lu's berserked, KOS-MOS is determined to get to the middle of the field to get her cheese, at which point she's gonna have to sift through exploding boxes just to get it, Duke's full of Saxton Hale macho, and Bryan is Bryan. And none of them actually know all the boxes littering the field will explode if tromped on
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Basically, the only way Drak's team is gonna avoid the bombs immediately getting someone or another is some metagame precog that warns them ahead of time that the innocuous cardboard boxes littering the field are rigged to blow, which they have no way of knowing about otherwise
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Just to bring this up, Master Chief's survival from heights is attributed almost entirely to his suit even in the games by Cortana, the soldiers, and himself. The suit has a sort of liquid layer within it that takes almost all the impact of stuff. As for without the suit, the durability augments Master Chief has then are ceramic material grafted onto his bones to make them not break as easily, but even then, the material put on doesn't even exceed 3% his total bone mass.
So I'd say a double strength, double mass kick from Duke to the head to him? Even taking my realistic lowballing of Duke, if it's not breaking the skull, it's rattling the head hard enough to more or less smash his brain against the inside.
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I have no idea who you are, but I thank you for arousing me. - Beruga Brawl FC: 3823-8243-5663
I know I'd take a nice block of cheese over Shion any day.
But yeah, in this kind of combat situation, the only way to guarantee that the cheese will be protected is to eliminate all enemies as efficiently as possible. (Otherwise, they could take the cheese.) So that is KOS-MOS' primary directive here.
-- You put your RESOLVE HAT back on, which conveniently is the same hat as your NORMAL HAT. {Drakeryn}
Leaving the cheese unattended is a bad idea for protecting it. With people like Big Boss and Joanna capable of being sneaky, or her own team possibly making haphazard movements that could cause a box to explode (let's face it, Duke's not subtle, Bryan's gonna wade through like it was nothing, and Fou-Lu's berserk and gonna be just boosting straight forward), there's a lot for her to be worried about messing with it in her absence.
She's not afraid to take down teammates if they endanger her mission even slightly! Gunned Virgil down just because shooting around him would have decreased her aiming efficiency by 30%.
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I have no idea who you are, but I thank you for arousing me. - Beruga Brawl FC: 3823-8243-5663
Ideal teammates clause didn't exist there. It does here.
Also, I don't know why you are insisting that one has to be "subtle" to avoid running into a cardboard box. If I'm going somewhere in a hurry, and there's a box or other obstacle in my way, my first impulse is not going to be to plow into it at full speed. Maybe it's different for you. I don't know. I hope that you don't hurt yourself running into too many obstacles on the way to class.
Plus, Duke's a gunner with a jetpack. It's not as if he needs to engage the enemy at close range, and it's not as if he needs to dive into box after box in order to navigate the field.
-- You put your RESOLVE HAT back on, which conveniently is the same hat as your NORMAL HAT. {Drakeryn}
Any case, Chief/Revan are dead to me on one side, Jake's dead on the other. Even just by base, Joanna/Big Boss's weapons aren't particularly super advanced or powerful, which makes them taking Bryan down unlikely. They kinda need bigger output to put him down well, and given Duke/KOS-MOS are also gunners and Fou-Lu's more dangerous than Kefka...
Team Bryan. One man more, generally higher quality, and like I said, that one man more's a total pain for them because basically Kefka's the only one who can really dish out damage to him.
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I have no idea who you are, but I thank you for arousing me. - Beruga Brawl FC: 3823-8243-5663
Its so annoying you're going to class and theres this kid with a giant fold out map walking super slow its like "We've had class for weeks how do you not know where you're going"
these same kids also walk around with their student IDs hanging around their neck, as if the professor is going to check their identity at random or something. They deserve to get mowed down
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boring and mundane signature Now with more bold!Less Italics due to bold
Man, the M47 would so smack the hell out of Bryan. Paul Phoenix manages to smack him around during the Tekken 6 intro scene. His durability is overstated as hell
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Now, granted, he didn't seem to be doing any lasting damage to him with his punches, but he was getting past his 'Stand there and no sell' stuff. If Paul can do that, Fury is not standing up to a missile that can just about two-shot Peace Walker
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Bryan's usually overstated on durability, but that is basically his bigger selling point. His weaponry can be no showed by a good number of things, his strength isn't that amazing, and his speed is easily outmatched by most any 5/day or so on melee. That Paul thing doesn't match up to him not worrying about gunfire or a helicopter crashing into him in the same game.
Not to mention, the hype there on Big Boss's weaponry as advanced is pretty much laughable. Especially on the M47, because it's literally:
You know, a literal real life 1970's weapon. Not to mention, he wasn't even able to stop Peacewalker through weaponry, and most of that stuff was only ever stopped by attacking the obvious weakness AI pods and getting into them.
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I have no idea who you are, but I thank you for arousing me. - Beruga Brawl FC: 3823-8243-5663
Real life M47 is not Big Boss's M47. It's an entirely different weapon (for one, Big Boss's requires no manual guiding. For a second, it's way the hell stronger. You are conveniently ignoring the fact that the M47 in Peace Walker easily smashes up *every other* part of the mechs, too, not just the AI pods. Shoot it at the treads, mech will lose its treads. Shoot it at the body, including stuff that is literally built to be heavily armored, like Cocoon. Body will go boom. The M47 is just overpowered as hell. Period. Full stop)
And as for Paul, he punches Bryan around during the Tekken 6 intro. Helicopter thing is during Bryan's ending, and Tekken endings are always of dubious canon. The intro holds more water than Bryan's ending
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
To put it in perspective, the same game has Kuma wearing a spacesuit and tossing Heihachi from a space shuttle during his ending. I don't see anyone arguing that as a valid Kuma feat, so why the hell should anyone take Bryan's at face value
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Nope, that's an M47 regardless. Just because by gameplay it's broken doesn't really mean much. Same way I don't expect four people firing them at a mech to take longer to take it down than one person firing it at a mech (which is the case in Peacewalker with coop). Not to mention, none of them are ever blown to pieces, it's always just the AI pod jets off and it's left as is for the most part.
Not to mention, nothing to really say the things he's facing are overall that durable either. It's more likely they're not given the level of technology, real world setting, and their knack for being taken down by a guy with real weapons.
I mean, face it, Big Boss is commonly using real world weaponry. It's goofy to argue his M16 somehow just shoots bullets harder or RPG-7 blows up bigger based on... nothing.
As for Bryan Fury, that's just cherry picking. He's got that one with the tank and the other with the helicopter and is a robot, all of which is consistent. The Paul one's isolated, so you can either say he's playing, it's just plain inconsistent, or that Paul is outrageously strong (given the impact of the hits do make the ground and all chip apart).
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I have no idea who you are, but I thank you for arousing me. - Beruga Brawl FC: 3823-8243-5663
Oh, yes, Big Boss is certainly limited to real world weaponry. Such as his portable railgun (which I'm sure was a common weapon in the 1970s), and his musket that shoots tornadoes
There is *nothing* about Big Boss's equipment that suggests it has any basis in the reality of his timeframe
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
Lopen posted... Wang Jr strikez again No kidding. This is what you call 'I want to view something a certain way, and will twist logic to hell and back to suit my argument'
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We are thought, and reality, and concept, and the unimaginable
And two sci-fi things that if they exist? Aren't doing much by plot. That EZ Gun's never saved a person's life in a serious injury in story, and hell, Amanda sits on the bench for ages just because of a broken leg. And the railgun's vastly inferior to the one 30 or so years later in the timeline, it can't even power itself especially well, not to mention the concept of it exists in real life (same for gauss firearms and such).
What you're basically doing is tearing out all of the grounding of it being science fiction and just making it fanfic bull**** about how Big Boss could beat Goku with his M1911A1.
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I have no idea who you are, but I thank you for arousing me. - Beruga Brawl FC: 3823-8243-5663