Current Events > Is not wanting to sleep with or date a trans-person a preference or transphobic?

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deoxxys
06/22/21 11:09:17 PM
#1:


Is not wanting to sleep with or date a trans-person a preference or transphobic?


Saw a disscussion about this and I admit to thinking it is simply a preference. I can support trans-rights but that but I dont want to be in a relationship with one because that is my preference. Everyone has biases when they choose who they like and there are many other determining factors when it comes to your partner and sometimes the reason can be simple.

I did see several people with the view that it is transphobic but I assumed they were just radicals, so we are making a poll to determine what the majority thinks.

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#2
Post #2 was unavailable or deleted.
hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:10:05 PM
#3:


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Bleuets
06/22/21 11:10:27 PM
#4:


The poll is Pretty split on this one at the moment.
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Lairen
06/22/21 11:11:12 PM
#5:


How many times is this topic made?

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hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:12:51 PM
#6:


It's also racist to exclude any race from your dating pool. Don't know why people can't just own it. Everyone wants to make choices without being criticized for them.

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#7
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Medussa
06/22/21 11:15:08 PM
#8:


jesus fucking christ stop

another one.

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deoxxys
06/22/21 11:15:29 PM
#9:


Lairen posted...
How many times is this topic made?
Oh did we have an existing poll? Or just a discussion on it? I wanted to see numbers and percentages.

@Lairen


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Lairen
06/22/21 11:16:15 PM
#10:


I only date humans. It must be me hating all the other species......

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WashYourHands
06/22/21 11:17:09 PM
#11:


hockeybub89 posted...
It's also racist to exclude any race from your dating pool. Don't know why people can't just own it. Everyone wants to make choices without being criticized for them.
Am i homophobic for not wanting to date a gay guy?

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Goatsensation
06/22/21 11:18:43 PM
#12:


Posting in a 500 topic. See y'all at the finish line

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Delirious_Beard
06/22/21 11:20:54 PM
#13:


refusing to date an entire group of people is not a "preference". this is the exact same dishonesty people used when they said not dating black people was a preference

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Lairen
06/22/21 11:22:34 PM
#14:


I wont drink milk cause i hate it but also it destroys my stomach.....

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WashYourHands
06/22/21 11:23:20 PM
#15:


Delirious_Beard posted...
refusing to date an entire group of people is not a "preference". this is the exact same dishonesty people used when they said not dating black people was a preference
If an entire group of people either has or had a penis then yes, it is a preference.

the people comparing this to race are the only dishonest ones

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bsp77
06/22/21 11:23:43 PM
#16:


Nice to see the disparity on this one when people aren't berated

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LeoRavus
06/22/21 11:24:58 PM
#17:


Delirious_Beard posted...
refusing to date an entire group of people is not a "preference". this is the exact same dishonesty people used when they said not dating black people was a preference
So if a gay dude refuses to date women because he's not attracted to women that means he has something against them?

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WholeLife2
06/22/21 11:26:47 PM
#18:


all i know is i prefer to date pre op trans women no post op for me but im down if a girl wants to peg me
so for me its definitely preference i dont think im heterophobic
i mean preferences are real so i think thats mostly it but of course there are some transphobic pieces of shit out there

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DeathDeathSong
06/22/21 11:27:25 PM
#19:


WashYourHands posted...
Am i homophobic for not wanting to date a gay guy?

LeoRavus posted...
So if a gay dude refuses to date women because he's not attracted to women that means he has something against them?
i know these kids are trolling but its funnier to pretend that they dont actually understand what sexuality is

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Lairen
06/22/21 11:28:16 PM
#20:


So many girls wont date me cause im like 5'6"...

Who cares?

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hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:31:12 PM
#21:


bsp77 posted...
Nice to see the disparity on this one when people aren't berated
People don't have strong convictions if they can be berated out of their opinions

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Delirious_Beard
06/22/21 11:32:37 PM
#22:


LeoRavus posted...
So if a gay dude refuses to date women because he's not attracted to women that means he has something against them?

why do people keep using this dumb argument. gay men are not attracted to women. if person A expressed attraction towards person B and then learned they were trans, surgery and all, and person A suddenly said they were no longer interested, what is that if not transphobic?

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hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:32:56 PM
#23:


LeoRavus posted...
So if a gay dude refuses to date women because he's not attracted to women that means he has something against them?
No, because sexual orientation is natural. A woman isn't born unable to date short man. A boy isn't born unable to date a girl who listens to metal.

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ROOTFayth
06/22/21 11:33:13 PM
#24:


is it transphobic if you say its extremely unlikely you would date a transgender? youre not discounting the whole group, just the vast majority because preferences
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hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:34:26 PM
#25:


Lairen posted...
I only date humans. It must be me hating all the other species......
Comparing LGBT people to fucking animals or children or whatever will never not be disgusting hateful shit

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ROOTFayth
06/22/21 11:34:38 PM
#26:


hockeybub89 posted...
No, because sexual orientation is natural.
I dont think this is entirely true, part of it is natural, big part of it is also constructed off of your experiences growing up
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Crescente
06/22/21 11:36:27 PM
#27:


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WashYourHands
06/22/21 11:36:50 PM
#28:


Its good to see that most of ce (according to the poll) has their head screwed on correctly and dont live in fantasy land where you call people buzzwords for the sake of social justice.

But Im almost certain ce is consisted of 5 people with 15 alts each so theres that

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bsp77
06/22/21 11:37:14 PM
#29:


hockeybub89 posted...
People don't have strong convictions if they can be berated out of their opinions
I have argued that it is a preference and not transphobic. However, I am a massive extrovert and not afraid to have some people think I am an ass. Many people here just won't bother if they are then attacked by gunplagirl, CyricZ, joe and others. I get their point, I do, but I also feel it is more harmful to the overall LGBTQ community as it actually breeds more intolerance to attack people for their sexual preferences.

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ROOTFayth
06/22/21 11:37:15 PM
#30:


Delirious_Beard posted...
why do people keep using this dumb argument. gay men are not attracted to women. if person A expressed attraction towards person B and then learned they were trans, surgery and all, and person A suddenly said they were no longer interested, what is that if not transphobic?
what if person A expressed attraction towards person B and then leaned they were bi-polar, medicated and everything, and person A said they were no longer interested, what does that make person A?
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yutterh
06/22/21 11:38:40 PM
#31:


I think excluding a race or trans person isn't good. As you should still give someone a shot, ya never know you may like them. Example I find African american woman to be on the lower end of preferences and I dont care for heavy set women. I ended up dating a heavy set african american women for 2 years. She was awesome and it ended because I suck at relationships and broke up with her cause I was crazy.

Never dated a trans person but they are pretty rare anyways. But if I wasn't a terrible person to be in a relationship with I would have tried it. As of right now though I'm celibate and not looking for a relationship.

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Delirious_Beard
06/22/21 11:40:20 PM
#32:


ROOTFayth posted...
what if person A expressed attraction towards person B and then leaned they were bi-polar, medicated and everything, and person A said they were no longer interested, what does that make person A?

are you implying that trans people are inherently mentally ill or something? because this comparison doesn't really fly

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hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:40:23 PM
#33:


bsp77 posted...
I have argued that it is a preference and not transphobic. However, I am a massive extrovert and not afraid to have some people think I am an ass. Many people here just won't bother if they are then attacked by gunplagirl, CyricZ, joe and others. I get their point, I do, but I also feel it is more harmful to the overall LGBTQ community as it actually breeds more intolerance to attack people for their sexual preferences.
People need to stop comparing preferences to sexual orientations. We don't need to accept gay people because all choices should be respected. We need to accept them because we shouldn't judge people for inherent traits that they have no control over. Your likes and dislikes on a dating app are not hardwired and set-in-stone. Opinions don't demand respect.

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Nemu
06/22/21 11:40:43 PM
#34:


Delirious_Beard posted...
why do people keep using this dumb argument. gay men are not attracted to women. if person A expressed attraction towards person B and then learned they were trans, surgery and all, and person A suddenly said they were no longer interested, what is that if not transphobic?
It means they are not attracted to a biologically male body. What if someone expresses attraction toward a gay, non-trans crossdesser? Is it homophobic to reject that attraction upon learning he's a man? Why do you think the gender identification somehow negates biological sex of the person when for most people the biological sex of their partner is the main point of attraction?
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Lairen
06/22/21 11:41:09 PM
#35:


Careful: plenty of mod bait here. Impressive really but i knew it already with the topic....

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ROOTFayth
06/22/21 11:43:27 PM
#36:


Delirious_Beard posted...
are you implying that trans people are inherently mentally ill or something? because this comparison doesn't really fly
huh no not at all, I thought the point was obvious, apparently not, Im using a case of a particular condition that would make someone change their mind about initial attraction, they would likely react this way with the entire population of bi-polars
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Dakimakura
06/22/21 11:43:28 PM
#37:


It is transphobic if you find the person attractive enough to want to have sex with them without knowledge that they are transgender. Then with knowledge that they are transgender don't want to have sex with them. But still you have the right to have sex with and deny sex to any person you want, so really it is fine just don't be a shithead about it. You could simply tell them that you find them attractive, but you are just not mentally capable of going any further with things at this time.

If you just don't find the person attractive then it is a preference thing.

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hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:45:07 PM
#38:


Lairen posted...
Careful: plenty of mod bait here. Impressive really but i knew it already with the topic....
I agree. With so much blatant hatred of gay and trans people on this board, it's hard to not say something mean and catch a timeout.

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bsp77
06/22/21 11:45:52 PM
#39:


hockeybub89 posted...
People need to stop comparing preferences to sexual orientations. We don't need to accept gay people because all choices should be respected. We need to accept them because we shouldn't judge people for inherent traits that they have no control over. Your likes and dislikes on a dating app are not hardwired and set-in-stone. Opinions don't demand respect.
I don't know what your point is. I don't judge people for things they have no control over. I don't judge trans people. I support them and have a few trans friends. But I am not pansexual, despite briefly wishing I was, so I could only date a transwoman if 100% transitioned.

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hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:46:07 PM
#40:


WashYourHands posted...
Its good to see that most of ce (according to the poll) has their head screwed on correctly and dont live in fantasy land where you call people buzzwords for the sake of social justice.

But Im almost certain ce is consisted of 5 people with 15 alts each so theres that
Is it buzzwords to correctly call out people with irrational fears of LGBT people?

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Lairen
06/22/21 11:46:10 PM
#41:


hockeybub89 posted...
Comparing LGBT people to fucking animals or children or whatever will never not be disgusting hateful shit

And someone not wanting to date a group doesnt mean they hate them.

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ROOTFayth
06/22/21 11:46:16 PM
#42:


Dakimakura posted...
It is transphobic if you find the person attractive enough to want to have sex with them without knowledge that they are transgender. Then with knowledge that they are transgender don't want to have sex with them.

If you just don't find the person attractive then it is a preference thing.
what if you want to have sex but upon touching their post op genitals you dont like the feeling of it and thus reject them?
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ROOTFayth
06/22/21 11:47:47 PM
#43:


hockeybub89 posted...
I agree. With so much blatant hatred of gay and trans people on this board, it's hard to not say something mean and catch a timeout.
I see very little hatred of gays and trans on this board, certainly using the word hatred way too lightly here, hate is a very strong feeling
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Kakapo
06/22/21 11:48:50 PM
#44:


JustMyOpinion posted...
Inb4 gunpla saying disgusting things about the other side and the usual suspects backing her.
Rent free.

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Dakimakura
06/22/21 11:49:50 PM
#45:


ROOTFayth posted...
what if you want to have sex but upon touching their post op genitals you dont like the feeling of it and thus reject them?

If it is a mental setback then probably a bit transphobic, but there isn't really anything wrong with it as long as you realize it. Again it is best to be gentle to the other person about it. Perhaps over time you can grow as a person to accept them how they are.

If you just aren't physically attracted you can stop sex at any point you are no longer feeling it.

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hockeybub89
06/22/21 11:50:29 PM
#46:


bsp77 posted...
I don't know what your point is. I don't judge people for things they have no control over. I don't judge trans people. I support them and have a few trans friends. But I am not pansexual, despite briefly wishing I was, so I could only date a transwoman if 100% transitioned.
My point is I hate when people talk about preferences and sexual orientation in the same breath. Preferences do not need to be respected. If anyone's opinion towards the LGBT community is affected by people shitting on someone's preferences, then they are bigots that were never going to be on their side. It's apples and oranges.

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WashYourHands
06/22/21 11:51:38 PM
#47:


hockeybub89 posted...
Is it buzzwords to correctly call out people with irrational fears of LGBT people?
Not having a desire to date/have sex with someone who has/had a penis is not having a irrational fear of LGBT people

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catboy
06/22/21 11:52:32 PM
#48:


The cause of it could be transphobia, but inherently? I don't think so.

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viewmaster_pi
06/22/21 11:52:50 PM
#49:


god damn, 50 posts already

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Anteaterking
06/22/21 11:53:18 PM
#50:


I feel like it's really hard to explain "I don't want to date anyone who is transgender" in a way that is actually specific to transgender people and doesn't sound silly.

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