Board 8 > How do you mask your workplace farts?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Do you go somewhere else for a while?

Do you blame it on someone else?

Do you own it in all its smelly glory?

Inquiring butts want to know.
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I don't fart at work

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I work with stool in a lab so it's very easy
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Nanis23 posted...

I don't fart at work

Lies.
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I always find it weird that people act like farts are these unavoidable things that you have to do and hide all the time. Like I almost never fart except when I'm taking a crap, the only exceptions being when I'm sick or something.
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Xiahou Shake posted...

I always find it weird that people act like farts are these unavoidable things that you have to do and hide all the time. Like I almost never fart except when I'm taking a crap, the only exceptions being when I'm sick or something.

The average person supposedly farts 10-20 times a day and most of it is probably done while not on a toilet

I feel like that 10-20 statistic if legit is inflated by the people who have gas problems for whatever reason, be it sickness or poor eating habits/bowel movement regularity or whatever else. I definitely don't fart 10-20 times a day most days. I do it few enough times that I can hold it till I'm in a bathroom or walking around outside where I'm out of the area with a quickness.
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Youre supposed to mask them?

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Most likely. It just so happens a lot of people have poor diets and/or medical issues resulting in more gas

But at that point it becomes average person without gas problems vs average person with gas problems as what's the more useful statistic

I'd imagine the average person without gas problems is more like 0-3 or something more than 10-20. But who knows.
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Even if you have perfect diet and bowels, you still pass gas based on air you swallow.

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I'm not saying healthy people never fart just that 10-20 seems quite high.

0-3 may be a bit low just considering during bowel movement farts though.
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How much do you all need to fart that you can't just kill two birds with one stone in the bathroom?
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Xiahou Shake posted...

I always find it weird that people act like farts are these unavoidable things that you have to do and hide all the time. Like I almost never fart except when I'm taking a crap, the only exceptions being when I'm sick or something.

Same here
I assume it depends on diet or something? or maybe just different digestive system? I dunno

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Awful lot of no fart privilege in this topic.

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Dont eat fast food every day and you wont be in a constant state of farts

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If I can't sneak off to somewhere private I'll do it in front of coworkers and own up to it.
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The majority of my farts don't smell or make much noise, they're just small amounts of butt gas
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Xiahou Shake posted...

I always find it weird that people act like farts are these unavoidable things that you have to do and hide all the time. Like I almost never fart except when I'm taking a crap, the only exceptions being when I'm sick or something.

If you don't ever fart during the day...which is hard to believe
You must rip consistently throughout the night and never know. It's gotta get out of you at some point.
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I just wait until nobody is around or while I'm walking down the hallway
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I work alone most of the day, so I can openly fart as much as I want. It's quite liberating.
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I am usually at a table of gamblers who are smoking cigarettes so even if it gets through the smell of cigs, it'll easily be blamed on one of them.
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people saying they dont fart all the time are lying or dont realize how small a fart can be.

I like to fart in transit, like getting up to get some water, or doing it right next a group of people. So it can't be placed you see.

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I think you all need to get your like, intestines looked at or something
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What a funny thing to be called a liar over, lol. Is it really so alien to get all the air out while on the toilet?
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Trying to be cool eh fine i get it

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GenesisSaga posted...

If I can't sneak off to somewhere private I'll do it in front of coworkers and own up to it.

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Just go to the damn bathroom and do it there, you cretins
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I'm sick of all this fart bigotry in our daily lives. Nobody blinks an eye if you happen to cough. If you sneeze, they even tend to say a nice 'bless you' or whatnot. If you yawn? At best you get a polite teasing of "Oh, now you're gonna get me doing that!" And so on, and so on.

But farts? Ohhhh, no! Heaven forbid we fart! And honestly folks, a fart is just a butt sneeze, so where's my God Bless You when I fart? I've had it with this societal expectation that I'm supposed to be ashamed of my farts. I'M NOT!!!! And I'll be god damned if I'm going to take it anymore!

Rise up, friends. No one's above farting, so no one should ACT like they are! For the poorest man to the mightiest CEO, we all fart! We should be united, in butt we trust!
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I didn't know there was a contingent of people literally going to the bathroom for every fart they have. This is so wild to me.
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Obellisk posted...

Do you go somewhere else for a while?

Do you blame it on someone else?

Do you own it in all its smelly glory?

Inquiring butts want to know.

Whewwwwwieee that bad boy is a bomb! If I laid that bad boy, I would be owning up to that in all its glory for sure!

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ExThaNemesis posted...

I didn't know there was a contingent of people literally going to the bathroom for every fart they have. This is so wild to me.

To be clear, it's not like I'm getting up and walking to the bathroom to fart, I just never have the need/sensation of having to fart separate from having to take a dump. I'm actually more amazed by the contingent of people who are apparently actively managing air pressure in their ass all day long! That sounds really annoying.
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Xiahou Shake posted...

To be clear, it's not like I'm getting up and walking to the bathroom to fart, I just never have the need/sensation of having to fart separate from having to take a dump. I'm actually more amazed by the contingent of people who are apparently actively managing air pressure in their ass all day long! That sounds really annoying.

this is so otherworldly foreign to me

like I fart much more around what the normal person average is and I can't imagine going a whole day without having to deal with it
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Xiahou Shake posted...

To be clear, it's not like I'm getting up and walking to the bathroom to fart, I just never have the need/sensation of having to fart separate from having to take a dump. I'm actually more amazed by the contingent of people who are apparently actively managing air pressure in their ass all day long! That sounds really annoying.

Right I mean I'm definitely not either it's just usually when I have to fart I have to take a crap so they're related.
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#fartlife
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