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TopicSurvivor Offseason Topic #1: Prelude to the War
Mega Mana
02/12/20 11:33:18 PM
#212:


Haaaaaaaaaaa

I really need to start getting into shape because I have been out of breath since Rob Mariano showed off his Amazing Race TWoP-coined 'man-strength' in that challenge. My god, Jeremy in that clutch!! Wow!!! Wow, my body is on fire, lolol.

That was.... really great. I haven't felt this impassioned during a television program in a long time. I don't even know about what really. Everything? Like, don't get me wrong, there have been better premieres and better games being played in other seasons, but it's insane how... ahh. Brain is all over the place. Thoughts as they bounce forward:

  • I rewound one moment like ten times over and that was the scene with Parvati and Rob right before Tribal. It's just absolutely insane how magical that was. Like, I don't even know how to describe it. It's before Tribal, and you can see Rob is visibly in game mode, is guarded, is just caught up with this whirlwind going on with his hard game mode voice on and Parvati sits next to him and it's, like... the game left! Parvati just straight up asks this complete armor-piercing question. Like, Rob is ready to strategize with her or talk shop and Parvati's all, "Are they all dumb?" and he pauses on what he's about to say and like his whole aura just changes imperceptibly. He's just loose and chill and like normal, and they just have a normal conversation. Like, Marquesas morning radio loose and there's a pitch in his voice that wasn't there a second ago and they just laugh and it's so freaking amazing and charming and fun. The wavelengths just matched so perfectly, and it was old school charisma magic.
  • I mean, it can easily be compared to Sandra/Rob chats on the beach betting a dollar on Coach shimmying up the palm, but honestly, the way Rob's face just changed but didn't change in just a few frames... it was The Second Coming of Fafaru. #11. on the first Funny 115 where in a couple of seconds you can see Boston Rob's entire body shift from happy to miserable, but THIS TIME IN REVERSE!
  • And Parvati's confessional was amazing too and I've dearly missed Parvati. "Am I being punked?" God, that minute was just the best thing in Survivor. They're the two biggest threats out there, and they're weirded out because they're so freaking relaxed and they share that absurd feeling together and it's hilarious!
  • I don't think or expect the rest of the season to be like that though. That second tribal had a lot of faces change and get serious, realizing the game is truly afoot with Tyson, Kim, and Amber looking shellshocked with how the day played out, and notes about being cutthroat and lots of talk about TWO MILLION DOLLARS. I'm enjoying this a lot now, but I know my guard is going to be up like Rob's going forward because it feels like All-Stars destruction might rear its ugly head in the proceedings. There could be some Lex or Jenna Lewis clashes. Everyone here is a winner, everyone here is super competitive, everyone here is playing to win no matter what, and we don't have the hate sponge of Russell Hantz playing that can be the unquestioned bad guy. It's all up in the air.
  • I cannot believe blue team won that challenge. My god, I can't believe Rob got over the barrel after all he did. He carried that team to the beach!
  • I'm a terrible person. I love Natalie, but I couldn't help but let out a few chuckles when she got voted out. I'm sure she at some point, probably more than once in the half-decade since, casually joked to her twin sister being first one out, and I'm certain Nadiya is hurting to see her sister Natalie gone from the tribal part of the game already, but there's got to be some part of her that feels something schadenfreude. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe Nadiya is above all that. I know she's proud of Natalie's strength and resolve on EoE though.
  • For all the alliances forming and unforming and strategy and everything, my favorite alliance is Yul & Sophie. I love Yul, and I love Sophie, and I love that their the awkward brainy nerd alliance together and Ahh~! I want so much more. I just want a show of these two having conversations. I want Rob C. to interview both and just not talk the entire time after introductions. And we only had like a minute of them forming an alliance. I don't care.
  • Speaking of Yul, I love that we instantly got one of his weird but perfect metaphors. "We're like dinosaurs who traveled forward in time" just hit me with all the "That's why elephants can't run up trees" nostalgic warm feelings. Yul is a treasure and I know Cook Islands is a terrible season with a really touchy premise and obvious rigs and some really bad recruits, but we had Penner, we had Ozzy, we had Cao Boi, we had Flicka, and WE HAVE BOTH YUL AND PARVATI AND THEY ARE AMAZING AND STRATEGIC BRIGHT RAYS OF SUNSHINE.
  • Like Ethan and Yul are wonderfully adorkable and if they go before the merge, I will be very sad. Ethan's presence in All-Stars was like the final rays of sunshine before dark clouds took over at the merge until the proposal.
  • When Sandra noted that in the 36 days they were out there together, Rob said he'd never play against her again, that he wasn't coming back out, and that no one expected Amber out there too. Sandra's visible emotions of betrayal hit and were real. Combine that with Rob charming information out of Ben (maybe the RI players weren't as stupid as we thought and Rob's just that good), and then going right to Danni with it and playing the Robfather role seamlessly... with Rob talking about lies and trust... and Sandra knowing those tricks and pretty damn immune to those charm attempts... and that they know each other well after 36 days together...... there will be blood. And Rob won't know it's coming until he's already dead.
Ugh, I'm gushing over nostalgia, and I don't care. Everyone post-Cook Islands (except Jeremy, Denise, Sophie, and Natalie) can go away because I don't care about you. Even you Tyson. I don't care that you've grown up and are still awesome and have a really good face for emotions.

I'd say my preseason favorites (not to win, just in general) were Yul, Sandra, Jeremy, Denise, and Sophie.

Week #1
  1. Boston Rob
  2. Parvati
  3. Yul
  4. Sophie
  5. Natalie

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