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TopicHi, I chopped jalapeños and then touched my bare penis.
Machete
01/14/20 8:47:43 PM
#41:


HotLap posted...
My bare penis by far. But it didnt hurt as much as when my father would put out lit cigarettes on my bare penis.

My father was a hateful man, but during his time in the United States Penitentiary in Hazelton, West Virginia, he found the word of God. He walks with Him now and I thank Jesus Christ every single day that my father extinguished his cigarettes on my bare penis because it made him the man he is today. Without Jesus hed still be in that West Virginia prison. Instead he stands tall and proud with the Lord while he finishes his sentence in the United States Penitentiary in Leavenworth, Kansas.

Hmm. That's an interesting story. I'm glad that things worked out in the end and the story itself reminds me of something...

I'm not really a cigarette fan but one time a former boss made me so angry that I was about to physically attack him (it could have been lethal in context but that would not have been my initial intention). Instead I pressed the back of my hand against a hot cooking pan fresh out of a 500 degree (farenheit) oven because I had noticed that previous accidental burns had a calming effect so I figured intentional ones would too. I held it there for a good 15 seconds. A co-worker was like "what are you doing?" and I replied "saving <name of former boss>'s life." I had always assumed I was the third craziest person at that, while I presumed that co-worker was in the top 2. I felt crazier than him that night though. I ended up quitting that job for a better, less stressful one. The co-worker in question quit a few months before me and ended up getting the same sort of food service job at a different place. I found out about a year later that he went to jail for beating 2 guys with either a wrench or a tire iron (claims varied) following a dispute over a parking space. The other co-worker that I had rated in the top 2 for crazy (was a manager) ended up being forced to quit several months after that for vandalizing the car of an employee that she had become paranoid about, believing that said employee and her husband were "spies from corporate sent to undermine her." Considering all of that and the fact that I was not forced out or ever ran into legal trouble, I would say my assessment of the "top 3 craziest" with me at only #3... was pretty accurate.

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