There's no way in hell I'm wasting my time reading almost 1,200 pages of shitty bullshit stories.
So youve never read any book then.
I guess you missed the words "shitty" and "bullshit". The Bible is a shitty boring book and it's presented as a nonfiction book, when it clearly is fictitious.
Well, you're clearly also not reading anything with facts, science, history, logic, or wisdom contained within either. I SUPPOSE this means you could technically be reading 50 Shades of Grey, but that seems like it might be too philosophically deep for you.
Why does the fact that I don't feel like wasting my time with a horribly written, insanely long, boring ass book like the Bible mean I'm a fucking dumbass or something?