Lurker > colliding

2B
Estelle

4/10

uh oh, I'm in the minority opinion that doesn't like this one. too obvi and also I just don't vibe with the whole yokai/professional wrestling set up

4/10

It's so needlessly confusing. But after AJ and E1 it felt like a miraculous return to form.

+5 Dragon Quest IV
+4 Castlevania III
+4 Final Fantasy
+3 Mega Man 2
+3 Ninja Gaiden 2
+3 Little Nemo
+2 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game
+2 River City Ransom
+2 Dragon Quest III
+2 Tiny Toon Adventures
+1 Super Mario Bros. 3
+1 Contra
+1 Mega Man 3
+1 Snake Rattle n Roll
+1 Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers
+1 Ninja Gaiden 3
+1 Double Dragon 2
+1 Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
+1 Crystalis
+1 Bionic Commando

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Main Character 6
Zack Fair

You're not allowed to take my images. How dare you make me find another image of Zack Fair that doesn't say "Me? Gongaga" at the bottom.

My relationship with Zack is complicated. I loved the twist in the original game. It really freaked my bean when I was 15. But I also didn't give a shit about him as a person. It was cool that he was Cloud's doppelganger and he died. That's it. I didn't need to know anything more about him besides what was given to us in the original.

Then came Square Enix's "Zack push," where they come out with Crisis Core, they shove him into Kingdom Hearts 2. Couldn't care less. The issue is he's too goody-goody, honestly. He's something of a typical anime protagonist (dumb as hell, perseverance trumps everything, makes friends super easily, his enemies respect him, probably eats a ton of meat).

That being said, I liked the twist at the end of Remake where Zack lives. It really opened up a ton of narrative possibility that, to be quite frank, Rebirth doesn't do enough with (but I'll save that for ending talk). Zack's status as trad-protag works in Rebirth because it's a clever juxtaposition with Cloud's attempt to "play a part." Zack - the actual "hero" - is trapped in a world that's falling apart, while Cloud - the Avatar - is going on the heroic journey. It creates a lot of real interesting tension.

Zack's escapades in the Terrier-verse aren't exactly exciting, but they serve the important role of keeping players invested in the game beyond just replaying events from the original. I think they nailed his interactions with Marlene, Elmyra and Biggs. I liked Zack more in this game than I ever did before.

I still don't love Zack/Aerith. My interpretation of the relationship from the original game was that Aerith had a crush on Zack and so he was her "first crush." This is when I assumed Zack was older (like he was in his 20's while Aerith would've been a teen). Crisis Core suggests they were the same age and actually in an almost relationship, which I think is, I dunno, kind of dumb/too convenient from a narrative perspective.

Post Temple of the Ancient Stuff: It ruled. The Cloud/Zack fight, the Zack with Aerith help fight in the Church, the synergy attacks, the limit breaks. Truly a stand up and cheer moment. They gave Zack the line "who says the worlds can't unite again" which I would wager is a needle drop for the third game's title: reunite. Pretty good for a meme guy.

Hint for NPC 13: Better in the og game in almost every way, but still pretty high up.

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Minigame 12: Desert Rush, aka "The One Where You Break Boxes"

Yep, Steiner called it immediately. I don't know though, I think I like this better than in Remake? Maybe it was just easier this go around, because after a couple tries I got a literal perfect and had like 10 seconds to spare. It was definitely easier than the Intergrade version of this, which I found entirely too difficult. I think it's largely due to this not actually being about "being fast" and more about being smart.

There was something almost zen-like about finding the perfect route and getting the timing of when to use Braver and when to just mash square. I had fun, but I guess it's pretty simple all things considered.

Hint for Main Character 6: Probably the most meme-able Final Fantasy 7 character?

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NPC 15. Scarlet

Due to Gamefaq's recent crackdown on "horny," it took a while to find a PG rated picture of Scarlet. Curse you femdom! I mean fandom!

Lady Dimitrescu. Kargath. That one tall character from Unicorn Overlord. Certain people have a certain type, and that's fine. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yums. Except Scarlet's like... a really really bad person. She could've just shot Dyne and Barret in the head and been done with it, but no, she shot their freaking arms off.

There's a lot of Intergrade carry over in this game, which makes sense. The game is really trying hard to more naturally include Yuffie into the mix, and playing up her rivalry with Scarlet is a good way of doing that. So the whole rematch in Gongaga was a pretty good moment I thought (it was also surprisingly hard). That being said, her armor in the third game better be called the Proud Clod or else I'm rioting.

Oh yeah, and her chest is a little much.

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NPC 14. Shinra Middle Manager, aka the Ultimate Party Animal

I am constantly impressed by the game's ability to surprise and delight me when it comes to Remake versions of OG FF7's cult classics. What a character arc this guy has. In the first game, he is classic Japanese salaryman, married to Shinra, all about that upward mobility. In Remake, he's turned over a new leaf, He's had it up to here with Shinra's planet-destroying nonsense, and he's living, laughing, and loving his way to a brand new identity.

Forget the beach conversation with Aerith in Costa Del Sol. It's all about the birth of the UPA. His quest was unfortunately glitched for me beyond all hope of repair when I came up with this list, so I've yet to see his finale. I have no doubt it doesn't disappoint.

Hint for minigame 12: Cloud Smash.

I always just sat there and listened to Mai to finish before every combat trial because I didn't want to hurt her feelings

this board is for rankings and reviews on everything you can think of (except no longer for girls or our favorite politicians)

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Minigame 13: Summon Intel

It didn't strike me until Martin's post earlier that this is basically just the Lifespring again, except it's not just the same triangle prompt every time. I really enjoyed getting the summon intel before reaching the altar (again, thank you CHADLEY). I was worried at first that the "memorize the pattern" minigame would get prohibitively difficult as the game went on, but it never did. If anything, I wish these were a little harder to find on the map.

The music during this also goes super hard for no reason also. But then again, you could say that about the entire game pretty much.

Hint for NPC 15: A Shinra Board Member

I kind of agree that NWH is just as bad from an asspull angle. NWH is super overrated. The main difference is that the characters in NWH are remaining true to themselves, while the ST had the characters basically floundering from movie to movie.

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NPC 17. MAI, aka Monster Assessment Instrument

Google FF7 Rebirth Mai and all you get are a bunch of haters. "Mai is the single worst addition in the history of FF." "Too bad we can't silence Mai." Those are from Gamefaqs. Board 8 is cultured, so obviously they're not from you, dear reader, but from your neckbeard neighbors on the Rebirth board.

First of all, how dare they. Mai's great. She often chimes in with some surprisingly well-written (but ultimately useless) information about the monster intel. There was nothing in the rule book that said the devs had to explain why there are evolutionary variants to elephadunks, and yet they did. Be grateful!

She also gets into some tropey anime comedy duo skits with her big brother Chadley. I thought these were often funny, though sometimes predictable/cliche. What helps her out is the spirit of her VA performance. Also: I see your posts saying Chadley sucks and I'm choosing to not address them until his appearance on the list.

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NPC 16. Johnny and the "Johnny Squad"

There's something nostalgic and comforting about a Yuri Lowenthal performance these days (besides Spider-Man, because no thanks). I feel like for Johnny, Yuri can just kind of channel an energy of Yosuke if he were on cocaine and ride it all the way through the recording session.

Johnny's likeability in this game is somewhat surprising, since I didn't really like him in Remake. I guess in that one he was pretty much just creepin on Tifa most of the time. Here, he creeps a surprisingly low amount, so I guess that's one explanation. They also show him attempting to mature as a person when he takes responsibility for bringing Hojo to Costa Del Sol (even if it was under the mayor's orders). Finally, they show him becoming a small business owner, as he takes over the house we could buy in the original game and turning it into Johnny's Seaside Views.

Of course, there's also the completely buckwild and slightly culturally opaque choice for Yuffie to make several Ninjutsu clones of Johnny, aka the "Johnny Squad" (which does unfortunately make me think of a pack of condoms for some reason). It seems like I should've hated this quest but I dunno. I thought it was a pretty fun way to make Yuffie feel like part of the party immediately after her joining.

Hint for minigame 13: A rhythm game (but probably not the one you think)

random encounters are fine as long as the encounter rate isn't too high. I'm of the opinion that games should have a turn off encounter toggle, or a "press x to skip battle" function (Wild Arms 2 style), or a bravely style slider or something.

Yeah I think people are generally pretty high on Bloodstained (despite its performance being god awful when I played it).

People didn't like Shenmue 3 right? I've never played a Shenmue game. Obviously M#9 was a dumpster fire.

I read one review already that was complaining about Eiyuden feeling like an old Jrpg. Which, hello? Come on.

There's no actual "saga" to the multiverse saga. They've yet to actually be able to build up to anything interesting.

If you just want to say "which has better movies" it's the MCU by far. If you want to say which is the better story, it's weirdly Star Wars ST, despite it being mostly bad.

6

like you said, it drags in the middle. also I didn't like Keyes

Ellie
Cave

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Main Character 7
Red XIII, aka "Nanaki"

Remember earlier in the topic when someone asked who I forgot, Zack or Vincent? And I responded "no one, I'm just bad at counting?" I lied. I had actually forgotten to rank Red XIII. I'm sorry!

I have never particularly liked Red to be honest. Even in the original game, I didn't quite "get" him. I kind of thought his point was to be a "cool" character, like a test subject seeking vengeance against someone who wronged him. Or he was supposed to be the game's stand-in for a shaman.

This game makes it clear that Red XIII's role in the party is to be the dog. And that's fine! He's got a lot of good boy moments. He's also destined to be Barret's best friend, and that's also fine. As much as I think Red XIII's dungeon might've been more interesting if Aerith was the partner, Barret also makes sense. They have good comedic timing with one another.

That being said, I think they could've done more to establish more of a connection between Tifa/Red and Yuffie/Red. I can't think of any real good moments between those pairings. Except for maybe the very ending, where Tifa/Red are consoling each other over Aerith.

Many people are still complaining about the voice change. My opinion about the voice change is that it's perfect for the character. Thinking back on Final Fantasy VII, everyone remembers the twist that Cloud is not who he says he is: that he's actually kind of a shy kid pretending to be a badass. The thing that not everyone realizes is: that's everyone in the cast. It's maybe the game's main theme (besides the importance of the environment). Everyone is grappling with public and private versions of themselves. Everyone here has lost someone. By finding each other, their found family, they discover the importance of sharing that true self with one another. Their main antagonist is a person who never reconciles with that past version of themselves. So the voice change is fine, even if he does sound dopey. He probably shouldn't say "whee."

Playing as Red is extremely fun. He's a tank but he plays like a DPS. The first time I did Stardust Ray I audibly gasped because of how cool it was. I'm not quite sure how effective Siphon Fang actually is, but I loved the Vengeance Mode only abilities, and it just feels good to hold square and watch that little guy spin around.

Hint for NPC 17: My AI sister can't be this cute!

7/10

I think it's pretty interesting but also doesn't stick the landing at all. A lot of unachieved potential.

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Minigame 14: Mako Lifesprings

You're probably thinking this is too high, since all you do is press triangle three times every way the exact same time. But not everything has to be challenging or world altering. Sometimes you want to follow an owl to a lifespring, listen to the classic FF7 opening stinger, and get rewarded with a bunch of crafting items.

The real rewards here are some decent lore and quest progression. I really enjoyed learning about the Junon republic for example. I thought it was surprising just how much they went into the background of stuff I would never even have thought about. Also, I like how each area progress-locks you unless you do a number of different map related activities. Like you can't find the area's special monster unless you find a number of lifesprings for example.

So yeah, maybe to some it's boring, but I found it relaxing.

Hint for Main Character 7: Also a prime number

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NPC 19. Cissnei

I played Crisis Core for the PSP back when it came out. Thankfully, I don't remember any of it. All I have is a general sense of "this is okay but also I wish it didn't exist." That being said, I kind of remember the generalities of the main characters. Angeal was Zack's mentor. Genesis was basically proto-Sephiroth. Cissnei was a Turk who quit because she liked Zack. That's the literal extent of my knowledge of the Crisis Core version of these characters.

In Rebirth, Cissnei is "surprisingly delightful" (surprisingly a Turk, Turkish Delight, get it?). In general, I approve of the way they expanded Gongaga as a town (even if I dislike navigating the area). It's great that Cissnei is here keeping watch over Zack's hometown, and I even liked how they gave her the "bad at cooking" trope. I also like her design.

I don't think the Gongaga protorelic quest was any good though? This one felt unfinished. They're supposed to be "Turk training simulators" but in practice they're just random battles. I feel like the original idea for this was going to be more "transportative," like you'd be in a VR version of Junon, and they'd give your party black suits to wear (how cool would "Turk" inspired alt costumes be?). And you'd skulk around a VR version of Junon to take out a terrorist leader. But instead they're just battles in the regular Chadley VR space.

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18 . Dio

What a ridiculous character. He's probably too high up, but, once again, I have to give the Remake project credit for being extremely true to the original while also making it totally sex-positive and not mean-spirited at all.

If you were expecting this game to give you a big traumatic backstory for Dio, you may be let down. But I don't think he needs that. What he did need was to be this game's Andrea: a loud dramatic beefcake with a heart of gold.

It's kind of surprising that he got beat up by the Turks. I'm not sure what happened there. I feel like he should've had plot armor for that. I was definitely expecting him to flex himself back into perfect health, Popeye style.

Hint for minigame 14: the owls are not what they seem

agree to disagree I guess

If UPA hadn't been glitched for me for three weeks I probably would've fought Sephy by now

As it stands this game and I are officially "on a break" for a long while before I do hard mode

wg64Z posted...

Hot Take: Music that doesn't match the atmosphere is more memorable.

I get this, but also I wouldn't necessarily want an acoustic Mega Man X soundtrack

THE LISTS SO FAR:
69. The other Shinra grunt
68. Garth
67. The Intergrade Squad (Nayo, Billy Bob, Polk, Zhijie)
66. Myrna
65. Jules
64. Seto
63. Leslie
62. Tifas Dad
61. Sonon
60. Esther
59. Captain Titov
58. Madame M
57. Lifestream Whales/Weapons
56. Wise the Robot
55. Zangan
54. Piano Guy (Dorian)
53. Reeve
52. Andrea
51. Chocobo Joe
50. Clouds Mom
49. Choco Bill
48. Heidegger
47. Mayor of Nibelheim
46. Kid G
45. Chloe
44. Broden
43. Don Corneo
42. Wedge
41. Rhonda
40. The Fair Family
39. Scotch and Kotch
38. Dr. Sheiran (Med Sheeran)
37. Gus
36. Bugenhagen
35. Lodbrok
34. Costa del Sol Girls (Naomi, Fran, Yorda)
33. Marlene
32. Jessie
31. Gilgamesh
30. Chocobo Sage
29. Regina
28. Priscilla
27. Gi Nattak
26. Kyrie
25. Becks Badasses
24. Chocobo Sam
23. Chocobo Billy
22. Reno
21. Elmyra
20. Ifalna

Minigames:
40/39. Underground tremor monster / chocobo sniffing for monsters
38. Unlocking Chocobo Stops
37. Taking pictures for quests/snaps
36. Chocobo Treasure Hunts (random and specific zones)
35. Wheelie Master
34. Looking at notes
33. Chicken Luring
32. Gears and Gambits
31. Pirate Rampage
30. Caches
29. Mushroom picking
28. Cactuar Trials
27. Playing as Aerith
26. Chocobo Stealth Sequences
25. Minecart Sequence
24. Buggy Escape
23. Leapfrog
22. Towers
21. Following the Robed Figures
20. Chocobo Gliding
19. Playing as Cait Sith
18. Speed Circle
17. Fort Condor
16. Red XIII League (Run Wild)
15. 3D Brawler

Main characters
11. Cid
10. Sephiroth
9. Cait Sith
8. Vincent

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Minigame 15: 3D Brawler

I would've preferred an easily exploitable basketball minigame, but here we are. We have to finally discuss 3D Brawler. I am speaking as someone who has yet to even fight the UPA, much less Sephiroth. So when it comes to base game opponents, the only one who really gave me trouble was Shiva, because it's LITRALLY (sic) impossible to tell the difference between a straight and a hook. Ifrit was much easier and whoever was before Shiva was straight up easy.

But I have heard that Sephiroth actually is impossible without pause cheating, and if that's true, it's a bad game. But then again, I also had people tell me crunches were impossible and I promise you they're not.

In any case, I like the idea of this game but I admit it was quite frustrating at points.

Hint for NPC 19: Surprisingly delightful

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NPC 22. Reno

A well-known fact before the release of Rebirth is that Reno's Japanese VA passed away. The devs made it clear that Reno wouldn't be in this game very much. This is coincidentally true to the original, where Reno kind of disappears for a while and gets Elena as a stand-in. HOWEVER, he does appear in Gongaga in the original, in a welcome cameo. In Rebirth, he doesn't appear and instead we get more Scarlet domination. His absence is felt.

When he does appear, he does so in Temple of the Ancients. He gets one good line, where he tells Rude and Tifa to get a room. If Rude hadn't committed mass murder, I could've seen that pairing working. Anyway, Reno will always be the best Turk overall, but for this game in particular he's unfortunately a non-factor for a decent enough reason.

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21 . Elmyra
20 . Ifalna

We need to talk about Aerith's trial in the Temple of the Ancients. It's only the saddest video game sequence of all time. It's like Pixar levels of manipulative. First we get that awesome butterfly sequence, which hearkens back to Remake's prison cell scene. Child Aerith and Ifalna discuss going on an adventure, away from the white robes and the needles, where Ifalna will get better. CUT TO: Ifalna's dying on the train platform, you're child Aerith, and you can press L2 to ask for help and no one does! Awful stuff. And then you have to walk back, crying, sobbing about how you tried, and then she dies, right before handing you the White Materia. Not only is it devastating, it's such a smart setup for reminding players about the significance of the materia.

Aerith's other mom, Elmyra, is less important in this game than in Remake (and she's an Alternate Version of her... I guess? I'm starting to think there are no "alternate versions" and these are just the same characters in pocket universes or somethingweird). Ahem. Sorry I got confused. Elmyra's great. I mentioned this earlier, but one of the game's strengths is how you can "see" parents in the main characters, and no parents are better than Aerith's moms.

Hint for minigame 15: I wish I was playing basketball instead

Cuphead
Velvet

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Main Character 8
Vincent Valentine

Do I feel bad ranking a non-playable character over Cait Sith? Absolutely not. They crushed it with Vincent, because the devs understand that he's kind of a joke. Vincent is not and never has been a grim dark edgelord. He's Noel Fielding from the IT Crowd. He sleeps in a big coffin with a vending machine next to him. He doesn't understand how to work his palm pilot. He turns into a werewolf or a chainsaw guy. I mentioned his role in the Queen's Blood quest earlier. He rules because there's clear parody elements to his dark broodiness.

He also has one of the best boss fights in the game, imo. For as much as I think Shinra Manor in Rebirth is worse than the original's, the Vincent sequence is pretty good, from his awakening, to Cloud's weird out of body experience, to his transformation into Galian Beast. It's really cool. The battle itself is the closest the game gets to feeling like a Souls game (which is to say, not very much at all, but the music is great and the battle itself feels more about recognizing patterns than going ham on ATB).

The game reveals a lot more about his backstory than I expected. Cait Sith outright just says he's a former Turk, and the protorelic quest in Nibelheim seems to allude to Lucretia and some of the optional stuff from the original game. I don't hate this decision.

Having fought him, I now wonder what they'll do to make him playable in the next game. I imagine he'll play kind of like FeMC from Tales of Arise or something. His limits will almost certainly just be cutscenes, since I can't imagine they'll let us wreck shop as a transformed Galian Beast.

Admittedly, I do think it's weird that he hangs out with the party but doesn't actually fight. Cid's got the excuse that he's just flying them around. Vincent just seems anti-social. It's not a huge deal but they could've done more to say why he's not actively fighting with the party.

8.8

Kind of makes AAI 2 worth playing but like every case in this game it's a bit drawn out.

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Minigame 16. Run Wild, aka Red XIII League

It is honestly wild that this exists, no pun intended. I mean, this entire minigame exists because you can kick a soccer ball at Red XIII in the original game. They took a meaningless one second long thing and turned it into a bona fide Rocket League clone.

Like Rocket League, I'm bad at this game. I remember when Rocket League first came out, a lot of my friends were trying to get me into it. Then, when they saw I could not be taught or trained, they quickly gave up. Just like me with Run Wild! I did well enough to get Red's weapon, but I didn't try to get the top prize in the second variation of this (where you have to put all 8 balls in order).

Still, even though I suck at this, I respect it.

Hint for NPC 22: Vacation's all I ever wanted.

But before that: MC #8!

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NPC 25. Beck's Badasses

Like Kyrie, the battle theme is again putting in work for these guys. Like Kid G, they're random enemies who get to graduate to being actual characters. In Remake, these guys hung out in the slums between Sector 5 and Wall Market. They're decidedly gag villains through and through. Their gags include: explaining concepts poorly, mispronouncing said concepts, and getting their asses kicked so hard they have to play dead.

They are high on the list because I have great affinity for the original game's random enemy "Devil Ride." To me, it's on the level of Eligor and Hell House, and I was glad to see these guys kind of "become" that enemy in their Chapter 12 quest. Now if only Tankceratops had made an appearance...

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24 . Chocobo Sam
23 . Choco Billy

Let's talk about these two characters together so we can finally put an end to all discussions about the Chocobo family of side quests (at least in the character portion of the ranking). Despite being in the game way less than his colleagues from Wall Market, Chocobo Sam ends up coming across as the best of the Corneo trio in Rebirth. While the "secret" to Chocobo Billy's parents isn't exactly brain altering (in fact, I've kind of completely forgotten it), Sam is still able to exude that detached aloofness from the original.

Sam's character plays off of Billy's pretty well. I found myself surprisingly interested in Billy and Chloe's story, and Billy deserves top billing for being present throughout the entire thing (from the Grasslands to the prison to the Chocobo Sage's house). I also like a breath-strip across my nose every once in a while too.

Hint for minigame 16: goooooooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllll

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(Minigame) 17. Fort Condor Redux

To the surprise of a lot of people (but not me), Fort Condor is back! I think it's as good as an update to the original minigame as we could expect, although a tiny part of me still thinks the original's Fort Condor makes more sense. I know the strat in the original was to lose on purpose, but if you actually tried that game could be pretty fun.

I've already mentioned this, but this version of Fort Condor is worse than the one in Intergrade. Strategy this time has kind of gone out the window with the inclusion of the hero tokens and the rather strict time limit on some of the maps. I remember the original there being a need to think about which "board" to use in relation to the opponent's board. With this version, I think the strategy is just offense offense offense, call Cloud, Call Tifa etc.

Still, I'm glad it exists! It's great fanservice to see the polygons again. The storyline about the soldier pieces becoming self aware was a little weird though.

Hint for NPC 25: Ant Tray Pruners?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/3443fa0b.jpg
NPC 27. Gi Nattak

While playing through Cosmo Canyon, I had the thought "I wonder if they'll actually do anything interesting with the Gi this time." Sure enough, they did. While Cosmo is probably my least favorite part of the game overall, I loved the added backstory behind the Gi and the Black Materia. It was such a cool way to make Red's journey feel more connected to the rest of the plot. It also provides a lot of really effective lore about the Cetra. Gi's line about the Cetra being intolerant (I'm paraphrasing) was so good. Instead of thinking of the Cetra as like this pacifist magical beings we start thinking of them as more like actual people.

Maybe it's a little cliche how they ride a boat across the river of the dead, but the moment where the Zack scene transitions to Aerith's hand in the water was extremely well done. All in all, I thought this guy was super interesting - he just wasn't in the game enough to warrant a higher spot (of course, this logic doesn't apply to random joke characters yet to be ranked).

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f7a53baf.jpg
26 . Kyrie

Before you complain about her being too high on the list, let it be known that her original music did a LOT of heavy lifting here.

I also think she's way better in this game than in Remake, where she was just a huge whatever. At least here there's a running-gag playfulness about her that makes sense. In Remake I feel like they kind of wanted us to take her seriously? I mean, she's definitely still annoying but it's a "funner annoying."

Her design always gives P4G Marie, which is probably why I only sorta like her. She also deserves points for her Zack-verse version. Honestly, I think there's something going on with Zack-verse Kyrie. First she's the one who helps Zack with coma Cloud at the very beginning. Then she shows up to Avalanche's recruitment meeting ready to join.

You wanna know my 10,000 to 1 bet? She becomes playable in the third game. Take it to the bank.

Hint for minigame 17: Tactics? In Final Fantasy? Who needs em.

Leonhart4 posted...

I don't really do "hard things" in games, so I'd struggle to name anything that'd actually be worth mentioning.

yeah, I'm not a leet gamer so my answer is probably something pedestrian like getting the good ending in Hollow Knight

I'd agree with the zero depth/too easy complaints on FFXVI. Also the side quests in XVI compared to Rebirth are night and day. XVI is a good game but it's paper-thin and a throwback to a kind of action game that just isn't popular anymore (Level based, flashy combos, challenge is secondary to technical precision)

This is all fair stuff about Cait! I would reluctantly agree that he's "better" in this game (but only slightly). I completely forgot about the Marlene/Elmyra kidnapping plot from the original. Which does kid of beg the question of what Beagle timeline Elmyra and Marlene are up to. They're certainly not in Kalm, so I guess they're just chilling in Sector 5. Maybe we'll see them in game 3.

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Minigame 18. Galactic Saviors, aka Speed Square

Gawrsh Donald, it's the Gummi Ship!

I said earlier in the topic that I was bad at shooters, but this does not apply to Speed Square for some reason. I found this to be pretty dang easy, both in normal and expert modes (again: not on hard difficulty though). It's similar to the original in that most of your points are going to come at the end. It controls well and is decently fun, and the lobby area song is one of my favorites. I wouldn't say it's all that unique or interesting though. It's a space shooter.

Hint for NPC 27: One of the more interesting new lore developments in the game

XVI is a good game, but I do think it's also disappointing in that it really did not grow the fanbase or help the brand.

Also, I still feel like PS5's are pretty rare. This is anecdotal evidence and highly limited but when I talk to my students about games, people who actually have PS5's are few and far between. Everyone under 25 grew up with having their own gaming PC's and laptops.

Maybe Sony helped foot the bill for dev costs, and that's why exclusivity made sense, but even I have to admit it's hurt them

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(NPC) 29. Regina

I don't love that hair. Like the other Roberto Ferrari designs, she feels a little out of place next to the classic Nomura folks. I'm not saying all the new characters have bad designs, they just don't necessarily feel like FF7. Which is fine. I'm just saying there's a difference.

We first meet Regina on the Shinra 8, where she's a Queen's Blood wiz kid. After Cloud trounces her, she tends to her wounds by falling victim to the curse of the Shadowblood Queen. It was in her name all along, I suppose. Somehow I was still surprised when she ended up being the "final boss" to the Queen's Blood quest.

I love that final cutscene at the end of the Queen's Blood quest. Truly Vincent's greatest moment, plus we get a full-on cheesy "Game Over" line from Cloud as he throws cards like a ragin cajun. Mon Dieu indeed.

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28 . Priscilla and Mr. Dolphin

These two are coming as a package deal. Maybe one smart omission from the original game is the CPR minigame, where you have to give mouth to mouth to a drowning pre-teen. In Rebirth, that would've been Yuffie, and I'm sure a lot of the Cluffie shippers were let down by that scene (all four of you). Smartly, Rebirth shows selfawareness of the moment and plays it for jokes instead.

Priscilla in Rebirth is fun and spirited without ever being annoying. For not being in the game all that much I found her pretty memorable. Mr. Dolphin is unchanged from the original (perfect as is).

Wish I could talk about dolphin riding right now, but there's worse minigames to discuss first.

Hint for minigame 18: Our first gold saucer minigame!

the thing is playing all of these games back to back would probably sour you on the experience

they're designed purposefully to be distinct games. particularly with rebirth, you're really supposed to immerse yourself in it and not speed run it I think.

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Main Character 9: Cait Sith

Stop trying to make Cait Sith happen, Square. He's just not for me. He'd almost certainly have been last if Cid were more present and Sephiroth was less goofy.

The thing that bothers me the most about Cait Sith is how his existence is just taken for granted. No one ever raises any questions about this cat. Why does no one comment about how he's a talking cat robot? Why does no one care that he's an obvious Shinra spy? Why does he have a Scottish accent? Why should we accept him after he "sacrifices himself" in the Temple of the Ancients, when he's just a robot to begin with so it's not even a big deal?

All of these questions prove that Square actually made Rebirth more faithful to the original than Remake, because this is exactly how it was in the original. You go to Gold Saucer and bam, all of a sudden a big moogle is part of the party. Ok, sure!

In Rebirth, Cait Sith does some cute kitty dances and tells spooky fortunes, just like the original game. He still feels like the odd person out, which for plot reasons is definitely intentional for this part of the game. He doesn't really form any real relationships with the party members; imo they could've done more. I'm not a huge fan of his VA either; if they're going to go Scottish they needed to go full on Peter Cat-paldi or something.

Credit to the devs though, he's fun to play as. I know a lot of people seem to have trouble building ATB with him, but once you call the moogle it's basically over. There's a real UMVC3 Phoenix Wright feel to him in that way.

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(Minigame) 19. Cait Sith in Shinra Manor

Certainly not "literal torture." Perhaps a bit clunky, but honestly I appreciate the originality and the gameplay variety. The speed of the moogle is an issue, but I had zero issues with the throwing mechanic. It also forced me to "get good" with Cait Sith.

Really the suckiest thing about this section is that it's just plain worse than the OG Shinra Manor, which was really eerie and required actual puzzle/riddle solving. None of that's Cait Sith's fault though.

Hint for NPC 29: A character named after what they are

I legitimately cannot understand the "we just want a faithful remake that's the whole game at once" crowd

It'd be one thing if it was three 20 hour games that they made you pay $70 each for, but you're really getting three extremely high quality complete experiences.

Anyway, everyone who hasn't bought this should definitely buy it if they have a PS5 because it's honestly the best gaming experience I've had in a long while.

mnk posted...

I should probably load up that prequel game soon.

it's surprisingly long (and only kind of fun)

6.5

decent case (not better than 3-1 though)

I liked that track too, but I thought it felt kind of out of place for hiking up a mountain.

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31 . Gilgamesh

Great sword collector
Funny cut-scenes and sidequests
Gilgamesh reborn

All in all, it's a good showing for Gilgamesh, though it doesn't overshadow his debut or his epic entrance in FFVIII. It's still completely random that he's here and I don't really understand why he is able to do all of these strange protorelic related minigames.

Really appreciate the VA performance here. Didn't recognize the name, but I looked him up and he's been Gilgamesh since Dissidia. He's done a ton of other stuff too. Name's Keith Szarabajka.

I bumped the difficulty down to easy for the dual summon fights but raised it back up for Gilgamesh himself. A decent challenge, though I think I probably died the most to Odin. So Odin has a bit of revenge for FFVIII after all.

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30 . Chocobo Sage

This guy is probably too high, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for how this game goes out of its way to include stuff from the original game in surprising and cool ways. First off, they gotta get this chocobo robe in the merch store immediately. Secondly, again, I really enjoyed the Chocobo storyline in this game and this guy's a big part of it. He lives in his own mansion in Nibelheim, where he theoretically just gets to sit around and be awesome all day, smoking chocograss and thinking about the good old days.

Next up: a two-part post for Minigame 19 and Main Character 9.

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(Minigame) 20. Chocobo Glide

I think I remember reading somewhere that they've patched in the ability to invert the vertical controls, which would've bumped this game up quite a few spots. However, when I played this, I was stuck with the completely non-intuitive control scheme. I'm not sure what gaming experience instilled this in me, or if it's somehow biological/evolutionary, but when you're gliding you press up to go down. That's just the way it is, and to make us do it the other way is cruel. Anyway, it's fun that Yuffie does this and not Cloud.

Hint for NPC 31: Wasn't in the original game, but maybe should have been

Haunter12O posted...

Rank the regions!

Grasslands
Corel
Junon
Nibel
Cosmo
Gongaga

Gongaga is too much of a pain to get around, and I'm firmly in the "what is this Avatar shit" when it comes to the soundtrack. Feel a little bad saying the first one was the best one, but I think it is. Nibel is too small.

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33 . Marlene, pictured blowing up Zack's whole deal

So this is Marlene in the Zack-verse, aka the Terrier Timeline, but she remembers touching Aerith in the Beagle timeline and seeing her get killed by Sephiroth in the OG timeline. Makes perfect sense. No notes. Whatever happened to just being Barret's cute kid who makes a mean cocktail? Anyway, Marlene being all cryptic and spooky adds to the hopeless feeling of the Zack sections.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2a22b10c.jpg
32 . Jessie Raspberry

Everyone's favorite flirt from Remake is back, both in flashback form and in VR /AI "they're using my likeness even though I'm dead" form. This is the future Hollywood wants people. In fifty years they'll remake Star Wars with the original cast as holograms.

Flashback Jessie doesn't come out looking so great in this one. She's basically just drunk the whole time, but it's nice that we see her acting friendly with Tifa. I also appreciated the moment when we see her picture in the Gold Saucer hallway, and Barret tearing up during Loveless.

Loveless itself is I think shooting for that Opera House sense of gravitas, but it's also... not what I want Loveless to be. It really shouldn't be some fantasy epic, it should be like a grimy new wave goth cyberpunk thing. At least that's what I always imagined from the original posters.

Hint for minigame 20: "Up shouldn't make you go up! GODDAMMIT" - me, playing this minigame

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Minigame 21. Following Robe Guys for Fun (?) and Profit

In Twin Peaks, there are several scenes where David Lynch toys with the viewer by forcing them to watch extended scenes of mundanity. A very elderly man shuffles on the floor. A janitor sweeps. These scenes often come right at the moment where you, as the viewer, wouldn't want them. A character has been shot and is lying on the floor, possibly dying. It's the series finale, and we only have a certain number of minutes left.

The Rebirth equivalent is this final protorelic quest in Nibelheim (although I guess technically the Corel quest is the final one). The whole gameplay mechanic here is that you have to follow these robed guys around to find some underground bunkers or shinra facilities. It's completely pointless, since if you are like me and you scoured the map already, you pretty much know where they are anyway. So it's mostly an exercise in patience. You can kind of push them along with triangle if you're feeling like a jerk.

Hint for NPC 33: So, are you going to be helpful or just cute and annoying?