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TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
03/23/24 10:07:12 AM
#124
Jimbo Jones: *Referring to Homer* I hear that guy's ass has its own congressman!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
03/17/24 12:57:38 PM
#113
Man #1: *walking by the Springfield Nuclear Power display* Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastard!
Mindy: Get bent!
Man #2: No more Chernobyls!
Homer: GO TO HELL! *Throws a brick at Man #2*

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicPost lyrics from a song off the top of your head.
Alex1976
03/15/24 9:10:55 PM
#260
Got a car, gonna push it with my feet now
Gonna take my family out to eat now
Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can't be beat now
Made from Brontosaurus, baby, not moo-cow

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
Topic$110,000 but you can never pet a cat again
Alex1976
03/14/24 11:55:35 AM
#30
Fuhgeddaboudit. Love cats, 'nuff said.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicPost lyrics from a song off the top of your head.
Alex1976
03/14/24 9:06:01 AM
#254
I was there
To match my intellect
On national TV!
Against a plumber,
Oh, and an architect,
Both with a Ph.D!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
03/13/24 11:01:40 PM
#106
Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No. *lie detector buzzes* All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. *ding*
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir. You're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. *buzz* A date. *buzz* Dinner with friends. *buzz* Dinner alone. *buzz* Watching TV alone. *buzz* All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. *buzz* Sears catalog. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment. *buzz*

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicPost lyrics from a song off the top of your head.
Alex1976
03/13/24 10:31:45 PM
#241
Artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing
Analytically, I assault, animate things

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicHave any of you ever been to a Hooters or Twin Peaks restaurant?
Alex1976
03/11/24 1:16:22 PM
#25
Went to Hooter's a couple of times. It was so-so.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicIs it okay to not eat anything for an entire day?
Alex1976
03/10/24 8:17:05 PM
#6
I've done it a few times, mainly when I don't feel well and my appetite is gone.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicI had to kill Bob Morton because he made a mistake.
Alex1976
03/09/24 1:10:54 PM
#10
I'd buy that for a dollar!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
03/09/24 10:08:45 AM
#98
Homer: He makes me crazy twelve months of the year. At least you get the summer off.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicHave you ever fallen asleep during a movie at the theater?
Alex1976
03/06/24 7:54:46 AM
#45
Sometimes I nod off and miss a few minutes of the movie.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
03/06/24 7:52:01 AM
#93
Angry Dad: Oh, what a day. Maybe the headlines will cheer me up. *Headline says "You suck, Angry Dad"* That's opinion, not news!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
03/01/24 10:05:01 PM
#85
Principal Skinner: (over intercom) Attention all students, this is Principal Skinner. I trust you all remembered to bring in your implements of destruction? Now let's trash this dump!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/28/24 9:29:47 PM
#82
Bart: Milhouse, I hold in this hand Denis Leary's cell phone, and in this hand, the phone numbers of bars around the world. Let's start with Hawaii. *Dials*
Hawaiian bartender: Aloha.
Bart: Aloha to you. I'm looking for Maya, last name Normusbut.
Hawaiian bartender: Hang on, I'll check. Has anyone here seen Maya Normusbut? *Hawaiian barflies laugh, bartender scowls at the receiver. Zoom out from Hawaii, then zoom in on a bar in Australia called Crocodile Drunkee's. The phone rings*
Aussie bartender: I got a Drew P. Wiener here. Anybody expecting a Drew P. Wiener? I hold in my hand a Drew P. Wiener.
Aussie barfly: Better put it down then, mate! *Uproarious laughter from the barflies, bartender scowls at the phone. Zoom out from Australia, zoom in to a bar in Sweden called Inga-Bar Beerman's. The phone rings*
Swedish bartender: Ja? I shall inquire. Is there a Mr. Mifrien-Sergei, first name Olaf? Attention, everyone. Olaf Mifrien-Sergei! *Dry chuckling from the barflies* Wait a minute. If I ever get a hold of you, I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor.
Bart: Ah, the sun never sets on the Bartish empire.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicYou get a free 3-topping pizza. What 3-toppings do you pick?
Alex1976
02/27/24 12:18:02 PM
#63
Sausage, bacon, and pepperoni.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicHave you ever been to court?
Alex1976
02/25/24 3:10:14 PM
#30
Summoned for jury duty, but wasn't selected.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/25/24 12:49:40 AM
#74
Carvallo: Welcome to Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge. I am Carvallo. Now choose a club. *beep* You have chosen a three wood. May I suggest a putter? *beep* Three wood. Now enter the force of your swing. I suggest "feather touch". *beep beep beep* You have entered "power drive". Now, push 7-8-7 to swing. *beep beep beep* Ball is in parking lot. Would you like to play again? *beep* You have selected "no".

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicThe Critic was ahead of its time
Alex1976
02/24/24 10:28:49 AM
#23
"Oh, I don't want that."
"MORE POISON? I MEAN, TEA?!"

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDo you remember all of your state initials?
Alex1976
02/22/24 8:22:00 PM
#3
It's something I should know because I work with USPS.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicYou ever been to Disney World?
Alex1976
02/22/24 1:49:12 PM
#12
Went a few times in high school - Epcot with my school's French club 3 times, and I went to Grad Nite. Haven't been there since then.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/22/24 12:09:33 PM
#66
Instructor: Four out of five, Simpson, very impressive. But you missed your last target.
Bart: (smugly) Did I? (Cut to Springfield Elementary School parking lot - Principal Skinner is standing near a blackened crater where his car once stood)
Nelson: Haw-haw!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicHave you ever played Zelda II: The Adventure of Link?
Alex1976
02/19/24 1:19:49 PM
#18
Played it and completed it long ago.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/17/24 10:59:14 PM
#221
Tie Hard
M*A*T*H

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/17/24 10:37:43 PM
#51
Lisa: Aw come on, Bart, not again!
Bart: Aw, where's your sense of humor? *Dials Moe's Tavern*
Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Hello, is Al there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Al. Last name, Coholic.
Moe: Let me check. Phone call for Al. Al Coholic. Is there an Al Coholic here?! *laughter from the barflies* Wait a minute. Listen, you yellow-bellied rat jackass, I ever find out who you are, I'll kill you! *Slams phone down*


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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicPresident's Day is another holiday I don't understand.
Alex1976
02/16/24 11:21:23 AM
#10
Ivynn posted...
Was there a time when Washington's and Lincoln's birthdays were separate holidays? I wanna say yes, but I'm not sure.
I vaguely remember that being the case back when I was in grade school in northern Chicago (October 1982 - September 1985).

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/15/24 11:18:52 AM
#41
Gabbo: (after Bart turns on the camera) All the kids in Springfield are S.O.B's. (Cut to Kent Brockman, graphic shows Gabbo with caption Gabbo Gaffe)
Kent Brockman: Gabbo's kind of language has no place on or off TV, and that's my two cents. (Graphic of Gabbo fades and disappears) Heh-heh, that ought to hold those S.O.B's. (Graphic of Kent Brockman with caption Brockman In Trouble appears) What the...?

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/14/24 11:51:03 AM
#213
The Godfatter
Apocalypse Not
The Beastmatter

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDo you have plans for Valentine's Day ?
Alex1976
02/12/24 7:00:10 PM
#34
Apart from work, got nothing planned.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/12/24 6:56:07 PM
#209
Sausage Patty
Pate Rider
Dratnet

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/11/24 8:56:58 AM
#25
Angry Dad: This job sure is easy. Now to press this button! *BOOM* Not AGAIN!
Boss: Angry Dad, you're fired. *Angry Dad's head explodes in a mushroom cloud*

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/11/24 8:51:34 AM
#195
Tush Hour
Tappy Gilmore
The Taterboy

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/10/24 5:20:49 PM
#182
Mator League
Tars

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/10/24 6:57:18 AM
#180
Tot Gun
Hobbs and Thaw
The Task

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/10/24 6:54:23 AM
#21
Jasper: Talking out of turn, that's a paddlin'. Looking out the window, that's a paddlin'. Staring at my sandals, that's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe...oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/09/24 7:26:10 PM
#18
Krusty the Clown: Next thing you know, you're some schmuck working in a box factory.
Box factory manager: I heard that.

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/09/24 5:53:58 AM
#172
Groundhot Day

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/08/24 1:48:00 PM
#12
Inside Homer's mind...
Lenny: Dental plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces!
Lenny: Dental plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces!
Lenny: Dental plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/08/24 1:43:55 PM
#169
Dangerous Mints
Dante's Teak
Volcato
Ticker Man

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicDaily Simpsons Quote Topic
Alex1976
02/07/24 6:32:15 AM
#6
Marge: Ooh look, Homer. The IRS!
Homer: BOOOOOOOOOO!!
IRS agent: Ah, boo yourself!

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/06/24 8:44:03 PM
#160
Kingtin
Caddystack
Teatballs
The Great Rate
Pint Panther

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/06/24 8:12:40 AM
#154
House Patty
Karate Kit

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/04/24 8:27:33 PM
#147
The Hills Hate Eyes
Half Bated
Treed

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/02/24 6:59:19 AM
#128
Quit Show
Maltrats
Bullet Trait

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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
TopicReplace one letter in a movie title with T.
Alex1976
02/01/24 9:16:51 AM
#54
Moonrater
Tie Another Day


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When ancient man screamed and beat on the ground with sticks, they called it WITCHCRAFT.
When modern man does the same thing, they call it GOLF.
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