Let's get started, shall we? Who, out of 75 possible candidates, is the worst friend?
Well, it's...
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75. Eric Sparrow (Tony Hawks Underground)
@KamikazePotato
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5edd5f1c.jpg
What, did you think one of the mass murderers was going to take the bottom spot?
In this skateboarding series, a customizable character who loves skating (hereafter referred to as the Skater) wants to break into the pro scene. They and their best friend Eric Sparrow make skating tapes, get recruited, and wind up crossing paths multiple times throughout the game. But Eric has his own agenda, one that doesnt leave a lot of room at the top for anyone else
I watched several cutscenes and an analysis video, and read two Wiki pages.
Activity: 2.
Eric loves to skate. The Skater obviously loves to skate. Youd think Erics A score would be pretty high, right? Wellnot exactly. The Activity score is partially the action of doing something, but its also how enjoyable the friend candidate makes the experience. And Eric Sparrow is not fun to skate with. Hes a great skater, sure, but the aftermath of whenever Eric and the Skater skate together often involves cars being set on fire, tanks being rammed into buildings (seriously), and the Skater going to jail in Moscow for months. Months! Also, theres the simple fact that the Skater doesnt
need
Eric if they want to skate theyre friendly with other skaters, including pros. This eliminates the need to even engage with him at all. Erics A score isnt even lower because the Skater just loves to skate that much.
Backup: 0
. looooool where do I even start here. Eric is a chronic backstabber who uses the Skaters skills for his personal gain, at the Skaters expense. Eric betrays them by not sending in the Skaters application form for a competition, despite sending in his own, presumably to remove them as an opponent. Eric also betrays them when they film a big, death-defying trick on the hotel rooftop; Eric edits the footage to make it seem like hes the one who performed the trick, not the Skater. Eric
also
betrays them in Moscow, making sure the Skater takes the fall for the tank incident and, as said above, landing the Skater in a Russian prison for
months
. Eric is only out for his own gain and likes to lure the Skater into a false sense of security before twisting the knife.
Conversation: 0.5.
If you like to be trash talked, you can go ahead and raise this score, since thats most of what Eric does. Hes got a real mouth on him. He frequently insults other people, often with disparaging nicknames; in a clip from Tony Hawks Underground 2, he calls the player character nasty things and is quick to dismiss them.
Demeanor: 0.
When local drug dealers steal his skateboard and smash it to pieces, Eric responds by
setting their car on fire
. When he goes pro, he wont skate for kids unless hes paid $5000. When he loses to the Skater in a climactic skateboarding duel at the end of the game, his response is to throw a whiny baby tantrum, crying You aint nothing! Just an unpleasant person in every way.
Effort: 1.
Say what you will about Eric Sparrow, he does put in some Effort to maintain his friendship with the Skater. However, we must consider that said Effort is only so he can later use the Skater for his own ends, which uhkind of docks him some points. Like he goes out of his way to apologize when theyre in Russia, only to turn around and betray the Skater to remove them from the competitive pool. Is it better to have no Effort at all, or to have Effort that appears genuine but isnt? These are questions Eric Sparrow makes me wonder, existential crises that plague my thoughts. Congrats on a well-earned last place, you little turd.
Total Score: 7.