Johnbobb ranks user-nominated Villain Songs: Requiem - The Ranking

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59. Hands Clean
Source: Alanis Morisette
Villain: Groomer
Nominator: Snake55555555 (2 left)

https://youtu.be/AM_liRkPwdg

Villainy: 6
Characterization: 3
Melody: 6
Total: 15/30

"I wish I could tell the world 'cause you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly / I might wanna marry you one day, if you watch that weight and keep your firm body"

So I do have a question about this one; is the chorus supposed to be sung from Alanis' point of view or from the groomer's? Because I think that makes a difference in the characterization/villainy aspect of it. Most of the song is from the groomer's POV, so it would make sense if the chorus was too, where it outlines "your request for silence." If this is the groomer requesting silence and Alanis saying she's requesting it, that might bump it up a little as far as the villainy goes, but if it's the reverse, then that's not quite as bad. I mean, let's be real, this is pretty scummy regardless. Very scummy. Like I feel like 6 doesn't seem adequate for how scummy this behavior is, but only because the shit that's higher than a 6 is really bad.

You don't really learn much about the "villain" though, including his name. That's really where the song suffers, for the purposes of this contest. In hindsight, maybe a 3 is a little harsh, but my main thought process was that it largely feels intentionally generic, kinda like a basic outline of what a groomer is rather than who this one specific guy was. Which is fine for the song, but hurts it as a villain song. Pretty decent song too! Every Alanis song is pretty much decent at least though.