Anybody who has never seen a Star Wars film, check in please

Board 8

Board 8 » Anybody who has never seen a Star Wars film, check in please
CassandraCain
06/25/2022
11:24 PM
#1
I have a silly request of you. Watch Episode 9 Rise of Skywalker -- only that one, and tell me if you like it. I'm interested to know if it's a good movie on its own, I have too much bias to determine for myself.

disclaimer : I am not interested in any star wars arguments so lms plz take your hot takes somewhere else

disclaimer 2 : I recognize the ridiculousness of this request, and if it is too much to handle I absolutely understand and don't expect anyone to actually subject themselves to torture. But I would still highly appreciate it. For science.
I don't kill... but I don't lose either.
KingButz
06/25/2022
11:28 PM
#2
I don't think having seen other star wars movies inherent gives you a bias. Some people aren't star wars fans and are able to evaluate the films with a degree of objectivity.
to me hero's is just bad person
LeonhartFour
06/25/2022
11:38 PM
#3
I feel like you'll be completely confused by everything going on if you watch Episode IX in isolation because it's basically a culmination of the other eight movies and is sort of dependent on the viewer being familiar with them.
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/080/145/638.png
CassandraCain
06/25/2022
11:39 PM
#4
KingButz posted...
I don't think having seen other star wars movies inherent gives you a bias. Some people aren't star wars fans and are able to evaluate the films with a degree of objectivity.

That is true.

But someone who has never seen any of the movies will see this last one with a fresh set of eyes with no (edit: little) knowledge of anything prior. That is the specific perspective I am looking for.
I don't kill... but I don't lose either.
CassandraCain
06/25/2022
11:45 PM
#6
LeonhartFour posted...
I feel like you'll be completely confused by everything going on if you watch Episode IX in isolation because it's basically a culmination of the other eight movies and is sort of dependent on the viewer being familiar with them.

Also a good point. I think it might have enough spectacle for someone to enjoy it even if they can't follow the story... maybe?

This is the reason for the request. I must know the answer!
I don't kill... but I don't lose either.
UshiromiyaEva
06/25/2022
11:49 PM
#7
I have seen all the SW movies but I don't actually care about SW. 4 and 5 are the only legit good ones on the whole bunch, and I don't care about them or anything, I would just be OK with seeing them again. Didn't watch any of the Disney+ ones.

Episode 9 is, fundemaneatlly, just a dog shit movie. Have your main character hop skip and jump to 4 different planets in the first half of the movie to chase a macguffin that had no prior setup, and no legitimate explanation for its existence. Reintroduce a character who had no discussion in the trilogy prior whatsoever to be the big bad with absolutely no setup, and don't even explain how it happened. Literally the line "came back somehow". I am aware of the.... Fortnite prologue, but that doesn't actually explain it either!

There are TONS of frankly offensive to script writing moments in this movie, but those stand out the most to me, and neither has any connection whatsoever to the fact that it's a Star Wars movie. It's amateur hour writing regardless of franchise or even genre.

Frankly the D&D movie has better writing than this.
https://twitter.com/OocWTC/status/1348011667976699904?s=19
LeonhartFour
06/25/2022
11:51 PM
#8
UshiromiyaEva posted...
Literally the line "came back somehow".

THE DEAD SPEAK
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/080/145/638.png
UshiromiyaEva
06/25/2022
11:59 PM
#9
https://youtu.be/4u0ejXC7kFs

The Kingsglaive of Episode 9

https://twitter.com/OocWTC/status/1348011667976699904?s=19
UshiromiyaEva
06/26/2022
12:03 AM
#10
I'm sorry, on rewatch just now I've realized the line is "Somehow, Palpatine returned", not "Palpatine came back somehow."

Just wanted to make sure I corrected myself for posterity.
https://twitter.com/OocWTC/status/1348011667976699904?s=19
KCF0107
06/26/2022
12:10 AM
#11
I see your request, but I am going to deny it.
KCF can't actually be a real person but he is - greengravy
Aecioo
06/26/2022
12:13 AM
#12
Pretty sure LMS has never seen one
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lcb35gGx0t1qailr4o1_500.gif
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=57N0YAEJ
CassandraCain
06/26/2022
12:16 AM
#13
I appreciate you LtM but you have seen too many star wars movies to qualify here.

KCF0107 posted...
I see your request, but I am going to deny it.

That is honestly reasonable. Time is better spent elsewhere.

But seriously someone plz I will not be able to rest until I know the results to this experiment (or until I fall asleep in a couple hours).
I don't kill... but I don't lose either.
CassandraCain
06/26/2022
12:18 AM
#14
Aecioo posted...
Pretty sure LMS has never seen one

He's seen the youtube reviews he knows what's up
I don't kill... but I don't lose either.
Kenri
06/26/2022
12:22 AM
#15
UshiromiyaEva posted...
I'm sorry, on rewatch just now I've realized the line is "Somehow, Palpatine returned", not "Palpatine came back somehow."

Just wanted to make sure I corrected myself for posterity.
I feel like you have to expect this kind of dialogue/plot contrivance when you see a megacorp decide to hire three different directors for their upcoming trilogy, assign them each one movie, tell them not to talk to each other or plan anything out in advance, then bring back the first guy for part 3 after all and say "idk end it somehow"
Congrats to BKSheikah , who knows more about years than anyone else.
Jakyl25
06/26/2022
12:26 AM
#16
Was hoping for an ironic string of posts repeating the Red Squadron check in from the Death Star battle
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DRlKR5nU8AA_v_C?format=jpg&name=large
UshiromiyaEva
06/26/2022
12:26 AM
#17
Kenri posted...
I feel like you have to expect this kind of dialogue/plot contrivance when you see a megacorp decide to hire three different directors for their upcoming trilogy, assign them each one movie, tell them not to talk to each other or plan anything out in advance, then bring back the first guy for part 3 after all and say "idk end it somehow"

If he was competent he would have been able to roll with Kylo as the final antagonist. There's no reason you can't make that movie.

Though I guess we don't know if Palpy was JJ's idea or if Disney told him he had to do it (at least I don't know if we know, I never looked into this shit, lol).
https://twitter.com/OocWTC/status/1348011667976699904?s=19
Dels
06/26/2022
01:07 AM
#18
man this would be the perfect request for me since i usually miss out on almost all pop culture, and i haven't seen 90% of popular movies

but i did watch star wars 1 to 6 at one point. they were too popular for even me to hold out on.
CassandraCain
06/26/2022
01:34 AM
#19
You might still offer some valuable intel if you skip straight to the 9th movie and tell me your thoughts. Then go back and watch 7 and 8 and record more of your thoughts here (or 8 then 7, get crazy if it suits you).

If you're up to the task, I would certainly like as many fresh eyes on this as I can get!
I don't kill... but I don't lose either.
Dels
06/28/2022
03:50 AM
#20
Uhhh. I'll consider it. I'll let you know if I do. =P
Lightning Strikes
06/28/2022
03:58 AM
#21
My partner almost fits the bill, having only seen 7 (because of a work event) and maybe one of the other Disney ones likely Rogue One but she didnt remember it at all, before seeing 9 with me and my family.

She thought 9 was pretty bad although some parts worked. Basically her main issue was that it had some effective scenes but didnt earn any of them.
I just decided to change this sig.
Blaaaaaaargh azuarc
LinkMarioSamus
06/28/2022
04:54 AM
#22
TBH I don't think any of the ideas in Rise of Skywalker were completely bad, it was more all being crammed into one movie as a hasty conclusion to the trilogy that was the problem.

I'm actually considering re-watching the sequel trilogy but I want to finish The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett first. There's lots of other stuff I'd rather watch before revisiting the ST anyway. Truth be told I don't even find Disney's handling of Star Wars to be interestingly bad, it's more the insane meltdown on the part of some of the more "hardcore" fans that really stands out. Disappointment and frustration are one thing, but this is something completely different and the only fandom I've seen anywhere near the same kind of toxicity from is Smash. And even that pales in comparison.

Also a lot of the "YouTube randos" I watch and get my ideas from stem from me watching a lot of Star Wars videos in 2018, to explain some of my weird takes further.
Why do people act like the left is the party of social justice crusaders?
CassandraCain
06/28/2022
11:14 AM
#23
You are so precious LMS, I'm not even mad that you ignored disclaimer 1.

Dels posted...
Uhhh. I'll consider it. I'll let you know if I do. =P

No pressure! I think memento-ing the sequel trilogy would be quite the interesting experience, wish I could do it for myself but there aren't any movie forgetting devices invented yet. So I'll just have to rely on willing individuals to experience it for me.

What if I could find someone who's pure to watch all 9 movies backwards...? A real life The Chosen One I'd say.
I don't kill... but I don't lose either.
Arti
06/28/2022
11:15 AM
#24
KCF0107 posted...
I see your request, but I am going to deny it.

http://backloggery.com/articuno2001/sig.gif
GuessMyUserName
06/28/2022
11:21 AM
#25
somehow, LMS returned
I request affiliated many pipes.
Been a bad girl, I know I am. And I'm so hot, I need a fan. I don't want a boy, I need a man.
demonfang178
06/28/2022
04:01 PM
#26
I haven't technically seen any of the movies but I know the memes, seen most of the Clone Wars series, and watch more than my fair share of hour plus reviews and rants. I've seen the movie without having seen the movie. I can't remember names but I am familiar with the story beats.
LinkMarioSamus
06/28/2022
04:55 PM
#27
CassandraCain posted...
You are so precious LMS, I'm not even mad that you ignored disclaimer 1.

I get it but I didn't intend for what I said to be much of a hot take and it was only like one line. And to be honest I have no idea what passes for a hot take regarding any Star Wars movie past the original trilogy.
Why do people act like the left is the party of social justice crusaders?
Kenri
06/28/2022
04:58 PM
#28
CassandraCain posted...
What if I could find someone who's pure to watch all 9 movies backwards...? A real life The Chosen One I'd say.
imagine watching nine fucking movies only to have your grand finale be The Phantom Menace, wouldn't wish this on anyone
Congrats to BKSheikah , who knows more about years than anyone else.
Whiskey_Nick
06/28/2022
07:17 PM
#29
I volunteer.

I have definitely never watched any Star Wars media ever
I am Nick. Go Sens, Bills, Blue Jays, RedBlacks!
UotY 2015, You should listen to The Show w/ Ngamer and Yoblazer
LeonhartFour
06/28/2022
07:18 PM
#30
you definitely have the Star Wars ranking of someone who's never watched Star Wars
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/080/145/638.png
Whiskey_Nick
06/28/2022
07:19 PM
#31
LeonhartFour posted...
you definitely have the Star Wars ranking of someone who's never watched Star Wars
listen you!
I am Nick. Go Sens, Bills, Blue Jays, RedBlacks!
UotY 2015, You should listen to The Show w/ Ngamer and Yoblazer
redrocket
06/28/2022
09:13 PM
#32
UshiromiyaEva posted...
I'm sorry, on rewatch just now I've realized the line is "Somehow, Palpatine returned", not "Palpatine came back somehow."

Just wanted to make sure I corrected myself for posterity.


Actually, thats still not quite right. It goes

*Shakes head, rolls eyes, and lets out an exasperated sigh*

Somehow, Palpatine returned.

When you realize your universe is so stupid youre embarrassed to even be living in it.
It's like paying for bubble wrap. -transience on Final Fantasy: All the Bravest
LinkMarioSamus
06/29/2022
05:41 AM
#33
To be fair it's not like Poe has any explanation. I get why the line is meme fodder but I assume that's mostly for being so blunt even though it makes perfect sense for Poe to say that.

No joke: when I heard that Palpatine was going to be resurrected I thought it was going to be DURING the film, not offscreen before the whole trilogy! Had no idea with it on paper but in practice it was done in the laziest way imaginable. Which describes the whole trilogy really. I'm still mystified by how so many critiques of the ST are in such poor faith even when there's plenty to legitimately gripe about.
Why do people act like the left is the party of social justice crusaders?
Steiner
06/29/2022
05:55 AM
#34
why would i do that
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
redrocket
06/29/2022
07:55 AM
#35
LinkMarioSamus posted...
To be fair it's not like Poe has any explanation. I get why the line is meme fodder but I assume that's mostly for being so blunt even though it makes perfect sense for Poe to say that.

No, its meme fodder because that was also the writers explanation!

That wasnt even really Poes line. That was basically the writers speaking directly to the audience and saying, look, we know this doesnt make any sense, but just go with it PLEEEEEAAASSSEEEE!
It's like paying for bubble wrap. -transience on Final Fantasy: All the Bravest
HanOfTheNekos
06/29/2022
11:36 AM
#36
Palpatine came back in Fortnite.
"Bordate is a pretty shady place, what with the gangs, casinos, evil corporations and water park." - FAHtastic
bryans7
06/29/2022
12:21 PM
#37
Wait does playing Fortnite count as seeing Star Wars
https://i.imgur.com/zBZVUai.jpg
HanOfTheNekos
06/29/2022
12:44 PM
#38
bryans7 posted...
Wait does playing Fortnite count as seeing Star Wars

Only if you played during the special event
"Bordate is a pretty shady place, what with the gangs, casinos, evil corporations and water park." - FAHtastic
Board 8 » Anybody who has never seen a Star Wars film, check in please