27 year old and 19 year old

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Current Events » 27 year old and 19 year old
EpicMickeyDrew posted...
@
You sure about that? Dating an almost teenager coworker, in her 1st real job, where he's probably her boss or at least in a position of power over her?
If he provided those details then I'd change my opinion. I can only make a judgment based on a post as it's written.

Also, if they've been married for 21 years by now I don't see how the way they first met or the context behind the relationship should matter. Since they're married he's proven that he actually loves the woman and he's not just being a creep.
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masterpug53 posted...
Neat. I'll be dead honest and say that part of me still finds it weird to see two men kissing. But I learned a long time ago that that feeling is no one's problem but my own, and that I should just shut the fuck up about it whenever I get the itch to vocalize that opinion.
If youre comparing internalized homophobia to me having an opinion on this topic then okay I guess?

I dont get the itch to vocalize this opinion lmao the topic is literally just asking how you feel about the scenario

Im not gonna tell people theyre wrong unless theres truly some grooming shit going on. I just personally wouldnt do it myself because I think its weird and am not as far removed from being that young as most people here. I remember having peers in early college who dated people a good bit older. It was weird even then for me personally
Hee Ho
EpicMickeyDrew posted...
@
You sure about that? Dating an almost teenager coworker, in her 1st real job, where he's probably her boss or at least in a position of power over her?

Are you implying I was my wifes boss? Or is this some other scenario youre speaking of?
"Running twice as fast to stay in the same place" -Faith No More
EpicMickeyDrew posted...
where he's probably her boss or at least in a position of power over her?
This is a completely different situation. Why are you conflating two completely different situations? You're just assuming that any 27 year old male who romantically pursues a 19 year old female is more than likely to be her boss or have a position of power over her?
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KanWan posted...
I find it weird.. then again, I see dating someone even 2 years younger to me feeling like a whole ocean of distance emotionally

more so because thats been my experience
Dude 2 years is nothing. Don't limit your dating pool like that. Back when I was still dating, I dated a woman that was 12 years older than me and we were fine emotionally (and I acknowledge that it not working was my fault). My girlfriend now is 4 years younger than me.

EpicMickeyDrew posted...
@
You sure about that? Dating an almost teenager coworker, in her 1st real job, where he's probably her boss or at least in a position of power over her?
You're making a shit ton of assumptions with that lol.
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I was in a relationship with these exact ages but we were both freshmen in college with an overlapping social circle. I started college at 27 and she took a gap year. I was a comp sci major, she was in orchestra, and several of her orchestra peers were in my comp sci classes. Just kinda took off tbh.

Most toxic relationship of my life though. We were both terrible. I didn't realize how much of a mess it was til well after I'd dumped her
If it was about babies we'd have universal maternal care. There would be no charge no matter how complex the delivery. But its not about babies, is it?
I mean personally not something I would do, but an adult is an adult. For whatever reason theres a large contingency of people that believe the only thing a young adult isnt capable of and must be protected from is dating someone older than themselves.

They can join the military and go to war, take out loans, go to jail/prison, move away from home, get married, buy a house, and a bevy of other life altering activities that can come with serious consequences yet people rarely if ever say that they shouldnt do them or be protected from them

But if they find out theres an age gap between two individuals (and its almost always solely when the girl is younger and the guy is older) the pitchforks come out

There are definitely some situations that the relationship is predatory and should be called out, but I dont think its every single one and it shouldnt inherently be treated as such
I couldnt possibly care less, even if its people I know. I date in my age range, but do what makes you happy. No, its probably not gonna work long term, but the same could be said about most relationships in these days, especially with the agendized garbage the media has put out for the past couple decades.
Umbreon posted...
Sounds like two consenting adults to me. None of my business.

This. Ive had bigger age gaps younger than the younger one in this scenario. It was not abusive. It was fantastic.
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NoxObscuras posted...
Dude 2 years is nothing. Don't limit your dating pool like that. Back when I was still dating, I dated a woman that was 12 years older than me and we were fine emotionally (and I acknowledge that it not working was my fault). My girlfriend now is 4 years younger than me.

Im a hypocrite because I pretty much only date older lol

Its definitely a me thing though. The combination of age that has me saying man, you still gotta go through that big heartache that you never come back from and knowing theyre essentially my generational peer

and I dont exactly look too fondly at this generation honestly

hopped up on a fire from politics.. not the burn from having been young and completely reckless with your life

kinda too late for me to be impressed by that.. the alternative in this case are republicans doing the trad thing..

no thanks

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honestly who cares. when you have real things to worry about you don't get wrapped up in judging someone else age gap if its legal
yes
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VeggetaX posted...
If they're both consenting who cares.

Dark89
Who gives a shit? Don't infantilize adults, don't take agency away from adults, why is that difficult to accept?
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I don't give a shit.
Both are adults and can do whatever they want.

About the only thing that would change my mind is if the 27 year old knew the 19 year old when they were underage and waited/groomed them.
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Couldn't care less. If I knew the older party and they made it all about the younger ones age and flaunting it I would be insanely uncomfortable and likely end that friendship though.
How do the people against age gap relationships feel about 18 year olds doing Porn/Prostitution.
http://i.imgur.com/QfpP05s.png http://i.imgur.com/vdnZ1o6.png
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I mean, legally there's nothing wrong, but big age gaps are way grosser the younger one of them is. There's so much life experiences that you have between ages 19 and 27, the one who's 27 is clearly a problem here, much moreso than if it was 27 and 35, even though that's the same age gap.

What's the silly thing about this, half your age plus 7?
Ivynn posted...
Legal, but I'll judge you a little bit. I don't think that large an age gap can have much in common. But if they can make it work and it's an equal partnership, then it's whatever.
8 years is nothing, as my wife and are 16 years. We have different pop culture references but otherwise just fine.

But admittedly, I do think one person being 19 might mean they have even less in common.
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Proto_Spark posted...
I mean, legally there's nothing wrong, but big age gaps are way grosser the younger one of them is. There's so much life experiences that you have between ages 19 and 27, the one who's 27 is clearly a problem here, much moreso than if it was 27 and 35, even though that's the same age gap.

What's the silly thing about this, half your age plus 7?
Who gives a s***? Don't infantilize adults, don't take agency away from adults, why is that difficult to accept?
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kuwab0 posted...
How do the people against age gap relationships feel about 18 year olds doing Porn/Prostitution.
Probably the same way the ultra conservative feel about gay or trans porn. Condemn it publicly but be the biggest consumers.
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I wouldn't care. They're both legal adults and it would be none of my business.
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Too big of a gap in my opinion since they're at different life stages and development, but whatever. It'll either work or it will not. That's for them to find out.
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eyebrow raising for sure. i think that a 27yo is even capable of that in the first place could be in and of itself a red flag. could be
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One of my issues is that people always assume the older one is using the younger one, but it can also be the other way around. The older one probably has more money and a better lifestyle. So they could be both using each other for different reasons. Or it could truly be legitimate where they both just click, or have some similar interests.
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Asherlee10 posted...
Yeah, there's nothing illegal about a 27 year old dating a 19 year old, and Im not here to police consenting adults. But at the same time, I think its okay to acknowledge that just because somethings legal doesnt mean there arent potential issues worth thinking about.

Theres a big difference in life experience between someone fresh out of high school (or early college) and someone nearing 30. How they think about relationships, identity, career, independence, etc. That difference doesnt automatically make the relationship bad or predatory, but it can introduce a power imbalance or raise questions about why someone would seek a relationship with someone in a much earlier stage of adulthood.

It doesnt mean judgment needs to be harsh or loud either. Like, I might quietly side-eye it but also mind my own business unless something is clearly unhealthy. There's nuance here that I think gets lost when people jump to either "who cares, they're adults" or "this is obviously creepy." Most of the time, its neither of those extremes.
Yeah I guarantee everyone here has something they find weird or odd thats perfectly legal. Something being legal doesnt mean one cant have thoughts on it.

As youve said, I think its weird personally and will probably side eye a little, but if I see it, Im keeping that to myself.
Hee Ho
I would be suspicious, but it's not inherently suspicious. And beyond that, there's really nothing about it I can be involved in.
And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life?
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bsp77 posted...
8 years is nothing, as my wife and are 16 years. We have different pop culture references but otherwise just fine.

But admittedly, I do think one person being 19 might mean they have even less in common.
Thats the issue, its not the age gap itself, its when the age gap is taking place. As I said above, theres just so much a person experiences and goes through at 19, which youve likely already done long ago at 27.

its not always like that universally of course, but I would have 0 problem with the same age gap if both people were older
Hee Ho
ssb_yunglink2 posted...
Thats the issue, its not the age gap itself, its when the age gap is taking place. As I said above, theres just so much a person experiences and goes through at 19, which youve likely already done long ago at 27.

its not always like that universally of course, but I would have 0 problem with the same age gap if both people were older

This. The gap between 19 and 27 is a lot bigger than the gap between 27 and 35, even if they are technically the same age gap.
Legally: I don't care.
In General: It's kind of a little weird but if you're both happy then you're good.
Practical Advice: I doubt it will work out. You two are at different points in your lives. She can't even go have a drink with the guy for another 2 years. The guy is probably starting a career, she is probably going to college or working random jobs.
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Borderline imo since alcohol and other substances are restricted to 21 and up now
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I really don't understand it but if the older one isn't abusing the younger one and there hasn't been any grooming, you do you.
Why do nerds always get caught up on the details?
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I mean I don't care really, but that could be factor for either age, whether it's using someone to obtain, or using someone because you provide
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As long as they actually met them at 19, it's not that weird.
...I think I'm done here...
WrkHrdPlayHrdr posted...
Legally: I don't care.
In General: It's kind of a little weird but if you're both happy then you're good.
Practical Advice: I doubt it will work out. You two are at different points in your lives. She can't even go have a drink with the guy for another 2 years. The guy is probably starting a career, she is probably going to college or working random jobs.

Will_VIIII posted...
Borderline imo since alcohol and other substances are restricted to 21 and up now
I can see how it could be weirder in America but in countries that actually treat adults like adults I dont see the issue
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I'd have questions about any 27-year-old that wanted to be with a teenager, but... whatever, I guess.
Im way older than both of them so their both kids to me, I dont care.

It is only an issue based on when they met, if one was 13 when the other one was 21, thats a problem.

But if they met both met as legal adults meh what do I care
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Where the hell is a 13 year old gonna meet a 21 year old? No they met at a bar
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EpicMickeyDrew posted...
I can see how it could be weirder in America but in countries that actually treat adults like adults I dont see the issue
Sure, when you remove the substance restriction from the equation it makes the age gap less sus
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Married a man 13 years older, been together for 11 years. Best decision my life.
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Umbreon posted...
Sounds like two consenting adults to me. None of my business.


This. I knew lots of college chicks who were thrilled to find older guys to date because they had jobs, their own places, etc. that a lot of college guys didn't have.
Its fine. My roommate was 27 when he dated a 19 year old. Yeah, I was weirded out at first but they ended up staying together for 3 years.
Caring about something like this (2 legal adults) is why society is so mentally broken.
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theyre two adults and i dont care
Oh please, the guy I had the hots for was 21 years older than me

Granted, I'm in my 30s and he was in his 50s

If he hadn't died, we'd still be together
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DiaX posted...
Married a man 13 years older, been together for 11 years. Best decision my life.
But at what age did you get together?

My husband is also 13 years olde than me, but we met when I was 27 and he was 40 (thought he was 35 based on looks, found out during our 1st date that I was wrong).

Current Events » 27 year old and 19 year old
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