IIRC, your life so far has been pretty awful, and your mental health is on the verge of breakdown in like every other topic about your life. You kinda need to be able to control yourself
and
others to be any kind of dom. It sounds like you like the idea of control without having any real experience with it or ability to exert it.
Also I really hope I'm not being roped into a secret cuckoldry fetish topic, because some of this feels like stock ntr dialogue.
And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life?
It's Guide