Anyone else feel like it's too late for them?

I mean, time already passed and it's going to pass. You can't do anything about it other than change how you perceive it.

Taking care of your mental health issues is way more important than school. If I didn't have a great group of friends in grad school who pushed me to finish my dissertation, I would've fucked it up myself because I was on the verge of a mental breakdown the last few months before I got my PhD. And that was without the worry of student loans or having an non-supportive PI.

Some random stuff still sets off a little ptsd from that time where I just freeze up for days and can't do literally anything productive.

Yep. I've been busting my ass to a) finish losing weight to get loose skin surgery and b) work enough to afford loose skin surgery without insurance but it seems impractical and an unwise use of resources, not to mention a bad time to compromise my physical and mental well-being for several months.

And it's hard to imagine the timing and circumstances improving. I'll probably have to write this off.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a4040480.jpg

Stay in school. Do your best to ignore the news if it negatively impacts your attendance/grades. Colleges aren't going to suddenly shutdown, so put your head down and get that that diploma. You can do it.

Dude I know life can seem hard some times. And right now it is super hard with these monsters in control. But we can make it .

We're all gonna make it, brah

ImAMarvel posted...

I really hope you're both right

I am scared too. My literally job is working with homeless ppl. And they are going after people who are homeless, and the workers who help them. But I am trying to live my best life. I bought a chair for my office and the new fish. Was it smart. nope. but I am not going to let these assholes hold me hostage.

I can understand that the world might seem like a shower of shit right now, but dont let that stop you from trying to make it better for yourself or for others.

If nothing else, getting qualifications gives you more options if you ever decide you want to leave the country.

That's my secret, Cap: It's always too late for me.

Don't let things get you down. I think in the long run, we'll still be okay. So it's not too late. I'm working on my degree too, so I'm right there with you

Lmao fuck yes, it's far too late for me.

If you think you're going to make it or if you think you're not, you're probably right.

So what do you want it to be?

It is too late for me. You're like a decade younger than, you have plenty of time.

My messed up life is a problem for future me. I'm going to keep enjoying the present while I still have it.

Think about this. I was happy. I lived in a place I enjoyed. I had friends that cared about me. The loss of my friend+covid caused my house of cards to collapse. His widow trying to grab everything she could, added more stress. It got so bad that I had thoughts you are not supposed to have. I know my other friend knew what I was going though. She pulled me out of that dark place. She asked me to help her. I owed her. The board knows the rest of the story. I feel no matter what I do this is the path I'm on. I'll be honest I want to turn it around but I'll have to wait and see what the future has in store for me

ImAMarvel posted...

Nah, it's not too late for you. And I'm not that much younger than you, I think lol

I've squandered every opportunity I've ever had and all my friends abandoned me at some point. I live with my mom and work at goodwill at 40, my only future is continuing to be an abject failure

. I am a Marvel btw is a really good Dreading the Seasons song.

ImAMarvel posted...

I believe in you, Crim.

You shouldn't

It can be too late but enjoy the downfall (to me this is to me) also I wanted to share a live version of I'm a Marvel but I couldn't find it on mobile on youtube. They were a nothing band but it just so happened I found them on interpunk, wow that's a whole nother story. I should post about that. Their highschool teacher had them playing songs as HS bands do. You are a marvel!!

Yeah ever since I was a kid and realized what happened when I was six wasnt normal and was very bad

It definitely is for me, in terms of like starting a family . Im almost 40 years old and have spent like 98% of that time single .

And I dont even mean that as a put-down or anything, because I actually think Im great the issue has always been finding a girl who feels the same

Part of that is definitely financial woes . I do alright for myself, Im living comfortably but theres absolutely no way I could afford dating, marriage, kids, etc. And again, thats not a put-down, its just the reality of everything. I only have an associates degree and, based on my Indeed job searches, there are like no jobs out there for me that would pay well enough .

So its like, the job / financial issues coupled with the fact that I cant imagine any woman having the patience to put up with some middle aged guy with the dating experience of a middle schooler yeah I wont be starting a family any time soon lol .

rexcrk posted...

Part of that is definitely financial woes . I do alright for myself, Im living comfortably but theres absolutely no way I could afford dating, marriage, kids, etc. And again, thats not a put-down, its just the reality of everything. I only have an associates degree and, based on my Indeed job searches, there are like no jobs out there for me that would pay well enough .

But what if she was also able to live comfortably by herself? Add your two incomes together...

Ive thought about this.. mostly through my 20s when I was definitely squandering around relationship after relationship. Not really treating myself right through it. I definitely have an addictive personality that became my refuge when I didnt know how to deal with this other feeling I used to think was depression and sadness.

But eventually I came to terms with things about me. Im a manic kind of guy, which is why Im outwardly bubbly. I laugh at everything and shoot, I even cry often because things are so beautiful that this feeling like Ive squandered so much tries to rear its head. After awhile I realized that its that resolve that carries me through. Things are beautiful when you can go at your own pace. Things are beautiful when you simply take the time and dont put it against other lives, events, etc.

That problem? Any problem? Its going to be there and I will feel sad when Im racing against it. Theres nothing I can do except be as present through it so I can accept the sadness, process it, and hold on as hard as I can to navigate through it without thinking 3 steps ahead (or 40 like I used to).

If you are working through that moment in time, youre doing your job. You can plan a next step, but just make sure thats the only one that matters.. and when it doesnt fall through, you take the next one and plan for the next one. We cant control the times. So we work through it one day at a time so we know were doing our part.

What people say is either true or not true: the small things we do to progress something are equally as important to establishing the big chunks of things to be. My vote is appreciated or its not. My time is appreciated at any level or its not. My care for the world is appreciated at any level or its not. Advocating for whatever is either worth it, or its not.

Lots of people do things.. we shouldnt care at all to do it at the level they do. We do it in our own way because we are unique and individual and thats the story of your life and mines is the story of my life.

Hope things get better for you.. for all of us, really