Why don't you start making changes to your life that will help promote your goals?Its not always that easy. The older I get, the more it hits me. Then I have days where Im super glad that I dont have kids. Its crazy. Knowing that I will probably live my whole life without building my own family unit is tough, but even though I feel old (36), a lot of people say Ive still got tons of time. So who knows?
Why cant you have kids? Sorry to hear thisAh, maybe I misworded it. It's nothing physical that's preventing it. I'm just a failure at life who will never find a partner.
Why don't you start making changes to your life that will help promote your goals?I've tried, and failed, repeatedly. All my money is tied up. I have other issues such as depression, social anxiety and such that makes it difficult. Plus, it seems I'm just not an option.
NGL, the three years since we had our second have been some of my roughest ever.I know it's tough, but I still want to be a dad. Glad you managed you make a family, and sorry that it's been rough after your second.
I was a great dad when I had one. I think this is what they call being promoted to the level of your incompetence.
I'm the complete opposite. The thought of having people living here permanently and having the responsibility of trying to raise decent humans who require a lot of attention is one of the most terrifying things I can imagine.Sure, I get that. I can definitely see why some people choose to not have kids. I always support people living the way they want.
Shouldn't you share your feelings with your wife? She seems like the most important person who would want to know about your issues with never being a father.And we have gut punch #1 for the day.
Why don't you start making changes to your life that will help promote your goals?As someone with kids this hits me too. Like damn, I dont have time/money for hobbies, side projects, or continued education to do something better or different. Once you raise a family youre pretty much on auto pilot for a good decade or two.
Ah, maybe I misworded it. It's nothing physical that's preventing it. I'm just a failure at life who will never find a partner.
Shouldn't you share your feelings with your wife? She seems like the most important person who would want to know about your issues with never being a father.
This is the wrong mindset to have. It will only guarantee that outcome.It's guaranteed regardless. I'm just being objective here. It's not really possible for a 41 year old whose never had a date, been with someone, or anything similar to be able to have a family of their own.
I actually don't. I apologize if I assumed something about the TC. I actually had reservations about posting that but I was uncertain what direction this topic was going in.You're good. You didn't realize.
I'll delete my post, I don't want to be insensitive about something I don't have any full recollection of.
NGL, the three years since we had our second have been some of my roughest ever.
I was a great dad when I had one. I think this is what they call being promoted to the level of your incompetence.
lol dude youre just 36. Go to the gym, get a haircut, and use apps. Male potency lasts way longer than 36. Im 32 myself and have only been in 1 relationship. No reason to give up.I'm 41.
anyways having children isnt necessarily a life. In fact life has multiple dimensions, all of which I intend to enjoy without kids lol. Not saying you wont have any though
They've definitely been a user for awhile but I don't remember any specific happenings in their life. If they lost their SO then I was very much in the wrong with my response.I didn't lose anyone. I've been unable to find one. Thanks for being considerate, but I don't deserve sympathy for being pathetic.
....who is TC? I dont know em either
....who is TC? I dont know em eitherNo one special.
My point was more society puts pressure on us to have kids, but enjoying life doesnt require any. Theres still music, video games, drawing, idk, rock climbing? Reading.I do enjoy my hobbies, but they're feeling way more like an escape than something to do lately. I want to be able to share my life with someone.
I'm 41.
And I know there are multiple dimensions to having a life. In my mind, having a kid includes a ton of prerequisite stuff, like dating, and getting married first. It's not just a "I want kids" thing, it's a "I want a life in which I can have kids".
No one special.
I just complain a lot about living an unfortunate life and being lonely. It's just hitting me extra hard today, after having a stupid anxiety attack because a stranger has a kid. God, I'm so stupid.
I'm 35 and single too. I've only had 1 partner and that was when I was like 19.
I should say you get over that mindset of having kids. If you want kids for entirely selfish reasons you're a terrible person .
Y'all are seriously wasting your time with this "You have to change that mindset" and "It's not too late" with TC. As if another damn near 2 decades of being told that on gamefaqs is going to be the fix for him.
I'm 35 and single too. I've only had 1 partner and that was when I was like 19.That stinks, but still better than me.
I should say you get over that mindset of having kids. If you want kids for entirely selfish reasons you're a terrible person. If you know you couldn't be a good father don't ever consider it. But, if you truly want kids maybe try adopting or fostering? But, I will say having kids is not like having pets. If you know you're unable to be a good father you're already a better person that most people.I would be a great dad.
Clearly just speaking for myself here but being the father of my almost 3 year old daughter has been one of the fulfilling successes of my life. I've always wanted to be a girl dad and I feel so fortunate to have been blessed with one.Happy for you.
Were telling him that bur he's the one that has to convince himself. It doesn't hurt to be reminded of the fact of the matter.The same reason it won't make a difference to him is the same reason my post won't a difference to you.
I know you know this, but I made all my friends and had all my relationships (other than my ex wife) starting at 40.You had high school friends who set you up with your first wife at 19. I know it didn't end well, after a long marriage that you struggled with. But you still got to experience life in a way I can only dream of then, and even better now. Despite the first marriage failing, you became a father and got to experience love.
Y'all are seriously wasting your time with this "You have to change that mindset" and "It's not too late" with TC. As if another damn near 2 decades of being told that on gamefaqs is going to be the fix for him.I am a waste of time. If I wasn't, maybe I could've found someone.
I actually don't. I apologize if I assumed something about the TC. I actually had reservations about posting that but I was uncertain what direction this topic was going in.
I'll delete my post, I don't want to be insensitive about something I don't have any full recollection of.
It's not the sameNO ONE is the same. You miss the point again.
The thing is dude is that you're stuck in a destructive loopYeah for example I tried dating websites for a time, didn't work out at all
You consistently viciously bash yourself for not finding someone, only for people to universally tell you you're a good looking guy. You've literally gotten matches and had dates set up on apps which is indisputable proof you're capable of dating in some fashion, but you scramble to find ways to disregard it because the date didn't happen due to Covid. You talk about how bsp got further than you without considering that numerous people here haven't even as gotten as far as you have on dating apps.
And you're going to read this and probably think "damn, I guess I'm a shitty person or a burden" once again. No. You're not a shitty person nor are you a burden . You HAVE to break this cycle, dude. Write reminders of positive shit, tell these things to a therapist, something. Cause you consistently bashing yourself and comparing yourself to every person that posts in your topics is not helpful. It's hurtful to you and the large amount of people here who are rooting for you.