ITT: I Rank All 96 Tracks in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

#50: Waluigi Stadium (GCN)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SffAUF6WAzE

Once again, I'm forced to admit that, despite my tremendous bias towards Double Dash, MK8 in its infinite wisdom decided to include a track that was...not my favorite! We only got three friggin' GCN tracks in the entire Booster Pass, where the fuck is Dino Dino Jungle?! Still, in spite of it not strictly being my favorite, I'd still put it over a good number of other tracks in MK8 (which is literally what I'm doing by ranking them!). And Waluigi got majorly shafted track-wise in the original 48 tracks, so it's good that he got thrown a couple bones in the Booster Pass.

My absolute favorite thing about the track is that it brings one of my all-time classic soundtracks back to MK8, one that I'd catch myself humming all the time back in the day. Graphically it's much improved over the original, and layout-wise it benefits from a couple modernizations - never cared much for the half-pipe mechanic, but this is one of the few races where I'll go out of my way to try and make the most of it (usually with disastrous results, lol - one time I muffed a half-pipe jump on this track so badly that I ended up going in reverse at full speed, which was a genuine first for my time playing MK8).

Overall, great track, still wish we'd gotten Wario Colosseum instead.

Bump. Busy weekend so I'll have to do my best to keep an eye on this.

Now reached the top 50.

Nearly to the halfway point.

#49: Music Park (3DS)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD0SK8CZnwc

There's about 3 different tracks I shuffled obsessively to figure out which one of them would round out the 'bottom 48,' since their all very good tracks that don't deserve such ignominy. I settled on Music Park simply because I felt the other two tracks made ever-so-slightly better uses of their themes in terms of course design. Which, can't be stressed enough, was stiff competition, because Music Park's a lot of fun, with elements like the hopping music notes and piano-key roadways (even though you typically have to avoid the actual keys when moving at 200cc). Aesthetically it's top-notch too, with an (obvious) focus on an elaborate soundtrack which features several different instrumental renditions that fade in and out at certain points of the lap.

#48: Bowser Castle 3 (SNES)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC2pvu0Os4U

I felt compelled to make sure this one squeaked into the top half of the rankings. For a stage that feels borderline-fanmade compared to modern MK design standards, it's way more fun that it has any right to be. It strikes that sweet spot between stripped-down retro design and modern mechanics; I will rarely if ever not appreciate the inclusion of antigrav, and this stage uses it to great effect without it feeling intrusive. The various branching paths are a treat, not to mention the fact that there are multiple lanes to each path, which helps make this track unique. I particularly love the narrow wall routes you can drive along towards the end of the lap, which either through deliberate attempt or happy accident evoke the feeling of landing a tight jump just right on the classic Mario platformers. And you gotta love the Super Mario World final boss music.

47: Choco Mountain (N64)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29WaDEbSydA

This is a track I had to sneak into the top half over a few courses that are technically superior, simply because I enjoy it so much. Which is weird, because I have absolutely no nostalgia for the N64 original despite playing that game heavily back in the day; hell, I nearly forgot it existed before the Booster Pass was announced. As such, I was really caught off-guard with how quickly this track grew on me.

Choco Mountain gets high marks heavily on soundtrack. In my humble opinion, this is how you nail an updated OST; add in a ton of subtle layers and little touches that the richness of modern video game music production can bring to the table while keeping the spirit of the original largely intact. Plus I'm a sucker for harmonica-based melody on any day of the week. It's one of my top-five soundtracks in the game, and that's some pretty stiff competition.

Otherwise, it's a charming little track that I'd enjoy racing even on mute. Visually it's one of if not the best-looking track in Wave 1 - it's an understatement to say that textures are in short supply in the BP compared to the original 48, and the rough texture on the choco-rocks really make a difference here. Plus I love the little crystals in the short cave segment (technically Mushroom Gorge has a better-looking crystal cavern segment, but Choco released first, so I'm a bit biased).

#46: Tick-Tock Clock (DS)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNTA3-CnR_Q

I had a tough time deciding whether this or Music Park deserved a higher ranking, due to their similarities. I ultimately went with Tick-Tock Clock because, while both have strong, obvious themes that enhance the mechanics of the track, Clock makes slightly better use of said theme throughout; the pendulum hazards, the spinning-gear roadway, and the horizontal clock hands at the start and end of the track that change based on the lap you're on are all used to great effect. Visually the track's great, with all the little clock-tower details both in the foreground and background, and the soundtrack fits the theme perfectly. I've always enjoyed this track, and never seem to get tired of racing it.

masterpug53 posted...

80) Baby Park (GCN)

andherewego.jpg

Let me start of by saying that I am not (intentionally) trolling with this opinion. I have actually taken criticism thus far into consideration, and have revisited and nudged a few of the rankings accordingly.

Let's start with the positives: Baby Park is a track I enjoy in theory . I also have several fond memories playing this track on local multiplayer with friends back in the good ol' days. And I adore the visual overproduction that MK8 gave this level, and all the little details that went into the full-blown theme park that surrounds it (pity though that you can't really take any of this in when you're zipping around the track).

But...it's an oval. And in actuality, I simply do not get much enjoyment or stimulation driving around an oval. Items are what make MK fun and have kept me hooked on the franchise for years over 'real' racing games, but they're still secondary to the actual racing, which is an aspect that Baby Park all but neuters imo. I get that it's supposed to be the 'great equalizer' by virtue of being incredibly short and basic, and in the old days of local multiplayer that was true. But MK8 is not the same experience for me. When I'm playing against CPUs and care much more about winning, I do not find the random madness of Baby Park to be particularly enjoyable; and unless I found a solid group of friends to play with, I don't think that sentiment would improve much via online play.

Ultimately my opinions on Baby Park are pretty similar to my opinions on Final Destination in Smash, and I'm not afraid to go against the grain in either case.

This is bullshit. Top 10 or bust. Joke list.

People continuing to be this irrationally defensive over an oval lends credence to my suspicion that Baby Park has become a meme race sometime over the last 20 years.

masterpug53 posted...

People continuing to be this irrationally defensive over an oval lends credence to my suspicion that Baby Park has become a meme race sometime over the last 20 years.

I think what makes Baby Park so beloved is that it's the only track where you are always in the action regardless of your placement. Like, on most tracks, if you are in the lead, the game turns entirely defensive. You hold any item you get behind you to shield yourself and you really can't ever attack. Baby Park basically has all players feeling like they are in the 4-10th place chaos zone at all times. The tracks extremely simplistic design doesn't even hold it back that much because the players and their items are the courses hazards.

Like I can absolutely see why some people aren't hot on it but I can also understand what makes it one of people's favorites and I dont think it is necessarily memes.

Compsognathus posted...

I think what makes Baby Park so beloved is that it's the only track where you are always in the action regardless of your placement. Like, on most tracks, if you are in the lead, the game turns entirely defensive. You hold any item you get behind you to shield yourself and you really can't ever attack. Baby Park basically has all players feeling like they are in the 4-10th place chaos zone at all times. The tracks extremely simplistic design doesn't even hold it back that much because the players and their items are the courses hazards.

Like I can absolutely see why some people aren't hot on it but I can also understand what makes it one of people's favorites and I dont think it is necessarily memes.

I get that, and like I explained, I see that value of Baby Park in theory, and what you described was closer to how the experience was back in the good ol' Double Dash local multiplayer days. But that is not my experience with MK8's version of Baby Park; I'm still in the lead most of the time, and thus I'm still playing defensively most of the time. I think this ultimately boils down to the two games having different items; Giant Banana Peels and Spiny Shells in particular caused way more mayhem on a small, enclosed track like Baby Park than MK8's offerings. Thus in MK8, the only difference between Baby Park and a standard track (apart from the monotony of cut the inside during the turns, hug the outside to avoid Stars and Bills, lather, rinse, repeat) is that due to its short length, I have virtually no time to recover which I get slammed with a blue shell / series of red shells in lap 6 (and again, due to the shortness of the race my odds of rolling an Air Horn are slim to nil).

I don't hate Baby Park; I like it just fine for what it is. It's just that I feel there's 79 other tracks that are more fun, more interesting, better-designed, and are more worth talking about.

#45: Sky-High Sundae

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_2fYIrJ69g

I've previously mentioned my love for the antigrav mechanic; I can't think of an instance where it's a detriment to a track, and I love the wild creativity that results from the designers basically being forced to think about how their races can flow in an extra dimension. Given that the mechanic was largely absent during the Booster Pass's early days, it was refreshing as hell to see a track released that was entirely antigrav.

So it's the antigrav that earns Sky-High Sundae its relatively-high marks - it may not make the most innovative use of the mechanic, but it's still a very welcome break from the more (literally) grounded tracks in the BP. The floating theme creates a rather unique experience compared to other sky-themed tracks in which you start to feel like you yourself are floating throughout much of the race, even apart from the gliding segment at the start. Soundtrack's nice and fittingly upbeat, and this is one of the few tracks that benefits from heavily-oversaturated colors.

However, something's always bothered me slightly about this track, and it finally dawned on me that it's because the floating theme is double-edged sword in that not as much care was put into the track layout as others. Certain elements are just kinda thrown around with little rhyme or reason, particularly in the last 3rd of the lap. Not a major flaw by any means, but it did compel me to knock this one down a few spots in the rankings. Plus, while this isn't the only track in the Booster Pass where the racers are bizarrely tiny compared to the environment and Toad / Shyguy / Yoshi spectators, this is the track in which it's most obvious.

#44: Koopa Cape (Wii)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uYGHvh20q8

This was one of those tracks that I was crossing my fingers to eventually see included in the Booster Pass. I had a lot of fond memories playing this one on the Wii, and the MK8 version pretty much delivers.

For starters, most of my fond memories stem from Koopa Cape having one of the most annoying, earache-inducing soundtracks that I inexplicably love to death. I think a big part of this is because the original was one of the first MK tracks that I noticed having a distinct music transition between the overworld track and underwater pipes, which is a feature I've loved ever since first hearing Dancing Mad in Final Fantasy 6. Mechanics-wise it's a fun, frantic track, and I enjoy using the halfpipes (or I just catch myself going too fast to avoid them, lol). I love the big drop into the water pipe section, which like Piranha Plant Slide evokes that feeling of a water park ride. Damn shame they got rid of the spinning electrical hazards, though.

Though if I'm being perfectly honest, this is one of those tracks that I put rather high in the rankings in the first draft and never really revisited it; then when I was combing through today I had to stop and think "does this really deserve such a lofty perch over some of the other gems below it?" I couldn't think of a good enough answer to that question in terms of my usual criteria, and so down in the ranks it tumbled.

#43: Singapore Speedway (Tour)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHKLpZhVkq8

This track may not be a personal favorite per se, but it would be remiss of me to rank it any lower. I feel like it gets widely cited as one of the top-tier Tour tracks in the Booster Pass, and that's clearly not without good reason.

The track definitely starts off on its best foot - the rooftop infinity pool is an effing brilliant addition. I'm also quite partial to how focused this track is on gliding segments over other Tour tracks, complete with ring boosts and air / water jets (I also appreciate that the last gliding segment lets you drive on the ground if you so choose). Visually the track is gorgeous with its vibrant nighttime cityscape, and keeping the track largely open-air lets you take in your surroundings far better than comparable nighttime Tour tracks. Soundtrack doesn't really stand out for me personally, though.

#42: Wild Woods

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CjiHfzGhOY

Wild Woods started off considerably lower in the rankings simply because it tends to come up waaay too often in the Random VS lineup, and I ended up getting rather sick of it. Which is something I'm glad I revisited and corrected, because it's really a great little track.

I've made quite clear my love of the antigrav mechanic (and will continue to do so until I'm blue in the face), and one of the things I've always appreciated about it is how seamless it can be integrated, to the point where I'll look back at a replay and say "holy shit, I was driving upside-down that whole time?!" Case in point: I'd raced Wild Woods at least a dozen times before I sat through the pre-race cinematic long enough to notice that the track actually starts on the side of a giant tree (and yes, I most certainly deserve to have my observational / critical skills called into question based on how long it took me to realize that).

Design-wise, the stage is lots of fun and absolutely gorgeous. There's a particular moment of inspired design where the gliding segment opens up and gives you an opportunity to take in the full layered details of the treetop village, even when burning along at 200cc. The water slide bit is a lot of fun and evokes that ever-sought-after 'theme park ride' feel, and I'm always a fan of shifting boost pads to keep you on your toes (bonus design points for putting them on giant lily pads). Soundtrack doesn't particularly stand out amongst other MK luminaries, but it's still a quaint little song that fits the mood perfectly.

#41: Daisy Cruiser (GCN)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M34p1-GGkgQ

I doubt anyone will remember, but any time there was a preview topic for an upcoming Booster Pass Wave release from 2022 through the middle of 2023, I'd be right there like clockwork demanding that Daisy Cruiser get included. This was mostly fueled by Double Dash bias, but I singled out Cruiser specifically because, in the face of multiple Rainbow Roads and endless Mario Circuits, Cruiser stood out as unique track with a fun gimmick that, to my knowledge, hasn't been replicated since.

I've also always loved this track for a specific personal reason: Herbie movies were my jam as a kid (hence the '53' in my username), and 'Herbie Goes Bananas' got a lot of play on my VCR. Not a particularly great movie despite the presence of Cloris Leachman and Harvey Korman, but the salient point here is that a large chunk of the movie took place on an ocean liner; and as a wee lad I was always tremendously disappointed that there was never a big final race that took place on the ocean liner. Obviously as an adult I understand the logistical impossibility of this (no matter how much Herbie may bend the laws of physics), but it was disappointing all the same. So when I first played Daisy Cruiser in Double Dash, it was a realization of that childhood fantasy that I didn't know I'd needed up to that point.

But as is often the case in life, once I finally got my hands on that which I had sought after with such determination, I realized that I'm...not quite as smitten with it as I used to be. Gimmicks like the sliding tables in the dining room and shooting out the ship's funnel were a blast back in the day, but it's hard to pretend they're as mind-blowing now as they once were. Graphically the track feels a bit sub-par as well, with a fair amount of rough edges (though the overhaul to the dining room is nice). And why is the hidden lower-deck section flooded now? That's pretty morbid if you ask me. On the other hand I do very much enjoy having the option to drive on both sides of the deck at the start of the race now.

It's still a great track, and I'm pleased as punch that that the one track I was pushing for the most finally got included. But based on the criteria by which I've ranked tracks thus far, I couldn't put it any higher than this when my love of it rides heavily on nostalgia.

#40: Merry Mountain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsrwerBVK_4

I have to admit a little bias here, since it's pretty hard for me to dislike something so delightfully Christmas-themed. Seemed like a strange choice to include something so seasonally-limited when it was first announced, but it eventually became apparently how much I enjoy this race any time of the year.

For starters, the track's gorgeous, and sits comfortably on the upper end of the Booster Pass in terms of visuals. The soundtrack is also excellent, and the triumphant opening can quickly get you into the holiday spirit even in the middle of July. Design-wise it's a solid track with an ever-valuable antigrav segment, and it's laid out as such where you can appreciate the winter village up-close at the start of the lap and from a wider vista when you head down the hill towards the end of the lap.

However, I do think more could have been done to work the Christmas theme into the track itself. Maybe some Christmas present mini-hazards that give you a brief slowdown but cause Item Boxes or mushroom-boost sweets to pop out? The train track alternate path is a welcome touch, but more interaction with the train itself could've been nice; maybe it leaves behind a glowing trail that you can drive on for an extra shortcut if you time it just right? I'm just spitballing and this is largely a nitpick, but still, after the opening leg the track itself is just a snowy road with a nice holiday veneer. As such, this was yet another one of those tracks that I had initially ranked higher, but had to move it down for the sake of fairness.

#39: Shy Guy Falls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYfSQpWb20E

This one gave me pause to review in that I didn't have a whole lot to say about it despite it being an excellent track. It's rather basic in terms of theme and aesthetics (although what is there is still visually top-notch as nearly all of the original 48 tracks are), but what it lacks in eye candy it more than makes up for in being a blast to race.

Antigrav is on full-throttle here despite only being present in half the race, zipping you up and down waterfalls and along rickety wooden planks, and the second descending waterfall is one of those moments where the antigrav gives you a nice dropping sensation before righting you at the last second with the glide ramp. I'm not usually partial to alternate raised paths that you have to hit just so with the glider because I usually suck at them (Bone Dry Dunes and Squeaky Clean Sprint come to mind), but for some reason I was determined to git gud at the one in Shy Guy Falls, and having mastered it made me enjoy the track that much more.

#38: Rainbow Road (Wii)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCxP0NGZGro

I'll be honest (even if said honestly won't be remotely surprising): I'm still miffed that this got in to the Booster Pass over Double Dash's Rainbow Road. It was of course always a fool's hope that DD's version would win the day, considering how wildly popular / successful MKWii was compared to it. Still, it does shine a light on the two reasons why I wanted DD Rainbow Road in the Booster Pass: the soundtrack (which still remains my favorite RR soundtrack in the franchise), and the ball-busting difficulty, and Rainbow Road Wii offers neither. Out of all five Rainbow Roads present in MK8, only 8's version can really be considered difficult ( maybe the 3DS RR could give you a tough time if you're new to it or having an off day), and I was hoping against hope that the DD version would come along and buck that trend.

Still, personal vendetta can only knock this track down so far, because it remains a darn-good track in spite of everything. RR Wii is an exceptionally nice-looking track that distinguishes itself visually by amping up the brightness on the track to such a degree that it almost looks like you're driving in daylight despite being in outer space, and this was a good design call imo. I also appreciate that they ramped up the extra Super Mario Galaxy visuals over the original. The soundtrack, while again not my favorite, is perfectly pleasant and has a fitting end-of-the-journey vibe to it.

Design-wise it remains a fun, interesting, and varied track, despite lacking the punishing difficulty I was looking for ideally. I always considered the figure-8 section with the half-pipes to be the standout bit of this track, and now thanks to the speed of 200cc I can just ramp right over them! Of course that's something that's still easy to screw up if I'm not paying attention, so at least the track offers the opportunity to make your own challenge.