Your take on "toxic masculinity?"

There are harsh penalties from deviating from the norm, always. This isn't a phenomenon exclusive to masculinity, though it does share a unique relationship to the problem given how patriarchal society pushes a very explicit type of masculine performance as the norm for men. (and to a lesser extent women trying to achieve in men-dominated spaces, such as corporate hierarchies)

Pointing out that validation of those structures upholds toxic masculinity though does not mean that the difficulties men face for deviating from the norm magically vanish. What it does argue for is no longer putting that type of toxic masculinity on a pedestal, instead asking that we change how we discuss what masculinity means and how it can empower all men rather than just a privileged few. Because that's all that playing the game really gets you: a privileged few get to experience the benefits associated with that specific performance of masculinity, those who cannot are left behind, and there is only so many reps you can do in a day to chase that ideal before you hit some sort of wall which blocks your ability to reach an idealization that isn't obtainable for most people.