If this is preventing you from dating now, then I think you need some good professional help.This is likely to be the best advice you get here, imo.
Getting into a good relationship is the best way to put lying succubi behind you. You'll make positive memories to supplant the bad ones.
what did she do to you, broDon't answer that. It'll only make you dwell on it more. Save the details for your therapist.
i think a lot of women use and manipulate guysThoroughly ignorant, unthoughtful take that only serves to encourage TC's bitterness.
I mean goes the other way around too. Many men use women. Almost everyone I know has a story about how a man used/tried to use them for sex even using guilt. It's a human thing devoid of gender. There's many people who will use an opportunity to get what they want. There's also many people who don't do this and will usually do the right thing when the opportunity presents itself.Yeah, definitely goes both ways. And also, my ex wife did manipulate and use me, but I would never say "a lot" of women do this, because most I have dated did not use me.
If it is debilitating for you then seek therapy or medication.
Otherwise whenever you catch yourself thinking about them, immediately shit talk yourself for wasting your own time.
As you get older you realize that time is the main thing bad relationships cost you, and giving any more time to them - even just passive thinking that puts you in a mood for some time period - is something you need to continually remind yourself is dumb.
I think you and I have problems understanding each other. I'm not judging other women because of this relationship. I was stating in the OP that I didn't want to bring my trauma from a past relationship into a new one, because that's doing a disservice to and wasting the time of anyone else I might try to date.I guess I assumed bringing that trauma meant fear that it would happen again. If not what you meant, then I apologize. Regardless, I wasn't saying you were being sexist or anything.
Red flag this gaslight that etc its ruined the idea of modern therapy to me
Well yes, admittedly that is part of it, too. Because if it already happened once with my limited experience, I feel it could easily happen again. But yeah I think that's a common dating problem that both women and men have.It most definitely is common. In my experience though, every relationship is different and you learn what do and don't like from each one. And you also learn how to be a better person yourself.
Honestly, I havent let go of anger towards my most recent ex. However, I try to channel that anger into something positive. The best revenge is living well and all that.
How about not trying to get revenge in the first place? Unless it was truly abusive, I just don't get the ill will people have toward exes.
The best revenge is to make them regret
I agree. I don't wish revenge or harm on her, I just want her to be better. Of course, it does kind of suck knowing that if she does become a better partner, it will be for someone else's benefit and not mine, but I realize that's how it goes lol.
okie, sure. do you rly think it was a good idea to post this on this particular message board, then? lol
@Mrbakerman25 Go with your gut.
No one's saying I have control over anyone's actions. But that doesn't mean one can't wish better for someone else, and that's also not incompatible with focusing on your own goals primarily. One doesn't preclude the other. I'm sorry I'm not a total egoist but other people matter too, and I also don't want anyone to go through the same pain I did (even though it will inevitably happen).