A small, sassy cat stands in your path.

"I need this car to be nondescript, but with golden hubcaps in the shape of coins."

Omg, I love sassy cat so much!

A wild Houndour appears and is in the mood for cat flesh

Install some smoke screens, lowrider hydraulics that can make the car jump 50 ft, and a bumpin' sound system.

Rika_Furude posted...

ask her if she sells any rocks

"Only if you want them installed in the car, hon."

SomeLikeItHoth posted...

A wild Houndour appears and is in the mood for cat flesh

You begin describing the vehicle of your dreams to the fabulous mechanic when suddenly you think you hear a noise just outside the garage. "A hungry Houndour?!" you cry out deliriously. A common rat scurries by outside. The sassy cat once again questions your sanity, thinking pokeymans are real for the second time today.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b97e26a2.jpg
"Uhhh, sorry. It's been a stressful day," you say. You lose 2 points of respect from the sassy cat.

You resume designing the coolest ride anyone has ever seen.

The mechanic leaps into action.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c26eed7e.jpg

I tell her to write DEEZ NUTZ in gigantic neon green letters along both sides of the car

ask her to install rocks into the cars inventory

DrizztLink posted...

Put a bigass coin on the roof.

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

"I need this car to be nondescript, but with golden hubcaps in the shape of coins."

ooger posted...

Install some smoke screens, lowrider hydraulics that can make the car jump 50 ft, and a bumpin' sound system.

YugiNoob posted...

I tell her to write DEEZ NUTZ in gigantic neon green letters along both sides of the car

The mechanic descends upon your car. You can't see behind her shades, but if you could, you'd see a crazed look in her eyes. Something between carnal fury and raw artistic passion. "A bigass coin!" you shout. Almost instantly, she's constructed a bigass coin and affixed it to the vehicle. "Golden coin hubcaps!" you cry out in awe and wonder. She produces yet more glorious discs. "Smoke screens! Hydraulic jumping capabilities! A state of the art sound system!" Almost as fast as you can call out your requests, she saws, hammers, and torches them into being. Before long you've lost track of her additions; she's gone rogue. You don't know what the hell she's putting in that car and you no longer care; such is the joy of witnessing a true artist of grit and steel.

Finally, the scrap and screws stop flying and the workshop erupts instead in a cloud of paint. Her movements and frantic brush strokes are too fast to follow with the naked eye, but in the brief moments when she pauses, you can see she hasn't gotten a drop of paint on herself.

At last, the clatter of tools and paint buckets comes to an end. The smoke clears. The mechanic pants; out of breath and sweating, but otherwise spotless. "Your chariot awaits," she says, and steps aside to reveal...
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e17f4225.jpg
...The Pimpmeowbile.

It. Is. BITCHIN'.

"Take a look, kiddo," says the mechanic. "This baby's got solid gold accents, combination smokescreen and rocket boosters, cannons, missile launchers, full flight capabilities, cupholders, and a bunch of other random bullshit. It's a little more than you asked for, but my garage was a little packed with stuff and I needed to make room."

You see two separate cockpits. One is perfectly sized for your own ass and the other seems just right for the sassy cat. It seems you're in charge of driving -- piloting? -- and the sassy cat handles combat and auxiliary functions. True to her word, the mechanic even gave you each your own cupholder, too!

Well, what are you waiting for? Hop in and take it for a spin! You can probably go literally anywhere in this sick ride. But where will you choose to go?

Beautiful.

We're finally ready.

Challenge the cop to a street race.

If we win, they have to let us go, that's just basic science.

Rika_Furude posted...

ask her to install rocks into the cars inventory

lol

I bring out Meowzie.

I pet.

Or throw bait.

Yes, I know I'm not in the Safari Zone.

I throw it anyways.

I look to the sassy cat to gauge their nonverbal reaction to the car.

Let's pull up "GameFaqs Maps" and find the closest burger drive through.

We're starved after outrunning the cops.

Obvious directions to drive are North, South, and Dennis.

I choose Dennis. But first I look around to see if there is a Ye Flask around anywhere that I am permitted to get.

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

I look to the sassy cat to gauge their nonverbal reaction to the car.

Kradek posted...

I pet.

ooger posted...

Let's pull up "GameFaqs Maps" and find the closest burger drive through.

We're starved after outrunning the cops.

DrizztLink posted...

We're finally ready.

Challenge the cop to a street race.

If we win, they have to let us go, that's just basic science.

You look to the sassy cat to gauge its impression of the car's new form.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/73f9dd0a.jpg
It's in love with all the shiny gold bits. It's even more in love when it finds the complimentary racing suits included with the car. You each don your outfits. The sassy cat is so dang cute in it that you just gotta pet it some more.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/3f062094.jpg

Your stomach growls. You and the sassy cat haven't eaten since stuffing your faces full of seafood almost an hour ago. You make a mental note to grab yourselves some burgs soon. But first, you have unfinished business.

The cop.

You evaded capture and stole the cop's car. His beef with you is sure to be intense and legally warranted now. There's only one thing to do. You've got to challenge him to a street race. If you win, he legally has to let you go. That's just science.

The mechanic wishes you luck in your showdown. You consider the kindness and proficiency of this mysterious figure. You ask if she'd be willing to join your party.

She's flattered, but she politely refuses. She's a small business owner. She has a whole garage to manage and many other orders to take care of. But, she says, she'll offer you something else. She asks for your phone.

"I have a phone?" you ask. The sassy cat rolls its eyes at you and takes the final unidentified item from your inventory. What do you know, it's a phone. The mechanic takes it and installs a new app.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0016b84a.jpg
The Samsummon app, brought to you by Samsung. This app allows you to call on a summonable ally in your time of need. The premium version costs mana, but the free version is good enough if you don't mind occasional ads. You add her on Samsummon and at last say your goodbyes.

It's time for a race.

Throw catnip at it

Try to pet.

Burgers first, defeat cop later

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

Burgers first, defeat cop later

ooger posted...

Let's pull up "GameFaqs Maps" and find the closest burger drive through.

We're starved after outrunning the cops.

Sephiroth_C_Ryu posted...

Obvious directions to drive are North, South, and Dennis.

I choose Dennis. But first I look around to see if there is a Ye Flask around anywhere that I am permitted to get.

You blast off.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/bf8d245b.jpg
FUCK YEAH.

...

Your stomach growls again. It's now been a whole hour since your seafood trip. FINE, you'll go get burgers first. The sassy cat uses the car's interface to access the GameFAQs Maps app on your phone and plots a course to the nearest Burgoo King drive thru. It seems to be in a...Dennisward direction? You don't know what that is, so you just turn when the GPS tells you to.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/d40c5fef.jpg
You order a fish sammich kid's meal for the sassy cat and a classic Burgoo for yourself. In the bag is a Burgoo King action figure. Everyone loves Burgoo King. He is the burger, but also he LIKE the burger. The action figure is added to the sassy cat's inventory.

Hooray for the DEEZ NUTZ mobile

SauI_Goodman posted...

Try to pet.

You finish your sammiches. Goddammit, why is this cat so friggin cute? You simply have to pet it again.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/3f062094.jpg

Next stop Lardland Doughnuts to meet our foe.

A small, sassy cat stands in your path.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6689303b.png

Hambo posted...

You attempt some nerd shit to try to kill the sassy cat. The sassy cat plays a Reverse card.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5707e135.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c00b5058.jpg
You have died.

Lmfao

I take the sassy cat to play putt putt golf with my grandma

If the putt putt golf place has an arcade, we should play some ski-ball so we can win Sassy Cat a mustache comb.

ooger posted...

If the putt putt golf place has an arcade, we should play some ski-ball so we can win Sassy Cat a mustache comb.

Omg dude you're so right. I don't think anyone has ever been so right about anything before.

I feel pretty good about it, tbh.

Taaaag.

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

Next stop Lardland Doughnuts to meet our foe.

DrizztLink posted...

Challenge the cop to a street race.

LonelyStoner posted...

I take the sassy cat to play putt putt golf with my grandma

Your car has been prepped. Your burgs consumed. Your stomachs are finally FUCKING full. NOW you can track down that cop and race for your freedom. You type the word "cop" in to GameFAQs Maps and it reveals the location of their hideout: Lardland Doughnuts. You make the drive over and the sassy cat blasts Call Me Maybe through the bumpin' sound system. Carly Rae Jepsen is truly an icon, you think to yourself.

When you arrive at the donut shop, you see him there; the cop who was hunting you down before you stole his car. He sits at a table, visibly fuming. Across the table is his partner. "Officer!" you call out valiantly.

He stands and immediately draws his gun. His partner stands and bites into a donut. The sassy cat jumps up on a table and strikes a fruity but menacing pose.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/23c55576.jpg
"Whoa whoa whoa, wait!" you cry, suddenly less valiant. "I-I've come to um...challenge you. To a street race!"

The officer lowers his gun. Immediately he understands the situation and the stakes. He turns to his partner and nods. Without a word, they walk out to the parking lot. You follow them out. The cops spend a few minutes on the radio, making the official arrangements for a police street race. When they're done, they tell you to meet them on Main Street, where the course begins.

I tell a friend ahead of time to hold up a box of Dunkin Donuts just before the race starts to distract the cops

When you arrive, Main Street is packed with police cars, police helicopters, and vans from the first news outlets to catch wind of the challenge. You try to gulp down your nerves. The mayor appears and charts out the race route. It's simple enough, you think. You, the sassy cat, the cop, and his partner get into your cars.

The mayor's secretary stands between your cars. She waves a flag, and you're off. You race down the first stretch of the road. You're neck and neck, eventually gaining only a slight advantage by the time you reach the first turn.

As you make the turn, you see it. The cop's ace in the hole. Your lane has been blocked off with orange traffic cones! You have a slight lead, but it isn't enough to cut off the cop. You'll have to slow down and let them pass before you can go any farther.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1a31c98e.jpg

Unless.......

You push a button on your dashboard with a spring icon. Your car's incredible hydraulics send it flying in the air, high above the oppressive traffic cones. In one amazing leap, it clears the entire coned off section of the road. You're back in the race, and now well ahead of these dastardly officers.

Go Pikachu!

You continue along the route and make it past the final turn, back on to Main Street. The finish line is on the horizon. Suddenly, gunshots! The cop and his partner are both leaning out the sides of their car and firing on you! You're pretty sure the car is invincible, but if they get in a clear shot, they could ruin the paint job! That's positively criminal! You and your little friend will NOT stand for this! If the cops think they're above the law, then you'll simply have to be above them.

"Engage flight mode!" you command. The sassy cat complies and dramatically slams down on the flight mode initiation button. You take off into the air. To evade fire? To boost ahead to the finish? No! You fly straight up and into a loop-de-loop. The officers stare in amazement and bewilderment as they pass you from below. You've now technically lost the lead, but from behind, you can...

"Fire!"
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/29262f42.jpg
The sassy cat lets loose with the machine guns. It pelts the police car with countless rocks from your car's inventory at mach speed. The sassy cat could easily end both men, but instead merely totals the car. It seems that it prefers to inflict humiliation over violence.

You land from your totally baller loop-de-loop and finish the race. Victorious. A champion to the people. Men, women, and children cry tears of joy in the streets. The mayor congratulates you and offers you a round of drinks to celebrate.

But you're getting a phone call. Who could this be? Oh! It's your grandma!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/36d16a12.jpg
You take the call...

Abandon the race to deal with Grandma thing. The cops have no honor and have already morally lost the race anyways, and family rivalries come first.

Also, she will want to pet the sassy cat.

Dominic Toretto makes an unexpected appearance

Tell grandma you love her very much.

If I were here earlier I'd have asked for a car where you can tell which direction it's facing

sauceje posted...

If I were here earlier I'd have asked for a car where you can tell which direction it's facing

No can do, buckaroo. Drawing cars is literally impossible. Frankly I'm amazed at how many times I've bothered to do it already. This topic is really burning through all my pink crayons.

Hambo posted...

Side note: does anyone have experience with 3DS microsd management? Specifically using it with a phone? I use my shitty old laptop now, but it's a pain in the ass. I just tried downloading a file explorer app that's supposed to be able to access network files, but it doesn't seem to find the 3ds. With all these rapid fire drawings, it'd just be nice to be able to skip the laptop in the process.

I have no idea if it would work for you, but I found this FTP method thing
https://gist.github.com/PixelSergey/ae2c003fc68bfab21ccbb3bfeb6fba46

Huh. That'd probably be more efficient. I'd just hafta do stuff to my 3ds. I really should it anyway since 3ds is properly dead now. I'm just so lazy about figuring that stuff out lol.

LonelyStoner posted...

I take the sassy cat to play putt putt golf with my grandma

ooger posted...

If the putt putt golf place has an arcade, we should play some ski-ball so we can win Sassy Cat a mustache comb.

Trumpo posted...

Dominic Toretto makes an unexpected appearance

evilpresident posted...

Tell grandma you love her very much

You pick up the phone. "Hi, Grandma."

"Why, hello there my dear! If it isn't my favorite grandchild!"

You already know what this means. She's buttering you up. She always does this. She tries to fluff up your ego and dote on you. And she's always after the same thing. She wants a ride to fucking Golf n Stuff. Uugggghhhhh.

Actually you don't really mind driving her there. She usually just runs off and plays mini golf on her own or with whatever other old ladies happen to be in the park that day. And she gives you money to spend in the arcade. It's a pretty sweet deal to be honest. But you have to act like you hate it so she coughs up extra change. You suspect she sees through your facade and just plays along anyway. But still. "Uugggghhhhh."

"What can I do for you, Grandma?"

"Well, sweetheart, I was wondering if you could give me a ride to Golf n Stuff today? I'll give you some money for gas and buy you some tokens for the arcade!"

"Ohhhhhhkaaaaay, Grandma," you oblige in your best impression of a reluctant teenager. "I'll pick you up in about twenty minutes." Unexpectedly, Dominic Toretto drives by. Seeing him reminds you of the importance of family. "I love you, Grandma."

"Oh thank you, my sweet! You're so good to me!"

...

You arrive at your grandma's house. The sassy cat presses some random button on its dashboard and the car reconfigures itself to accommodate an extra passenger in your cockpit. You help your grandma into the car and blast off towards Golf n Stuff at as many Gs as her little old heart can handle.

The sassy cat accompanies granny to the mini golf course while you hit the arcade. Through the arcade window, you see that the sassy cat is mostly just chasing and batting around your grandma's golf ball after each putt, but she seems more delighted than annoyed.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/dbadfc56.jpg

You play a few rounds of DDR until your out-of-shape lifestyle catches up to you.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/36889fd7.jpg
You idly throw away the bulk of your tokens on some games of ski-ball and the most braindead games you can find just to earn some actual tickets. As you hold your final token up to the coin slot, you see it catch the light. It reminds you of the sassy cat's fondness for coins and shiny shit. You decide to hold on to this one for the little guy.

At the prize counter, you load up on candy and a squeaky hammer. With ten tickets left, you see a brush shaped like a mustache. You recall the sassy cat's cowboy disguise and the sorry state of its whisker mustache. You figure it'd be good for a laugh if nothing else.

You give the sassy cat its comb and...
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2ec3ffbe.jpg
The vain little creature loves it! Your bond with the sassy cat grows stronger! You can now use team attacks with the sassy cat.

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

Also, she will want to pet the sassy cat.

Grandma has had her enrichment for the day and is ready for her afternoon nap. You drive her home. You and the sassy cat walk her to her door. She gives you a hug and pets the sassy cat.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7d29cc03.jpg

"Say," she says, "I didn't think to ask. What is your little friend's name?"

"Its name?" You hadn't thought of that. Amidst all the chaos of the day, you never did get a proper introduction. Also, you've learned the sassy cat cannot speak, so it probably wouldn't have told you a name if you'd asked anyway. You figure you might as well give it a name now. But hmm, what should it be?
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1b576680.jpg

...I wasn't prepared for this level of responsibility.

Tess Tickles

Or if it needs to fit in the 10 spaces provided, then TessTickle

Actually Tess is a female name, if sassy cat is male then I suggest Mike Hawk

Both names are good :3

YugiNoob posted...

Tess Tickles

Or if it needs to fit in the 10 spaces provided, then TessTickle

Actually Tess is a female name, if sassy cat is male then I suggest Mike Hawk

Both names are good :3

You brainstorm names. Well, it's awfully cute when you pet it. Almost looks like it's being tickled. How about Tickles? Ooh, maybe something alliterative! Tess Tickles! How cute and innocent! You type in Tess Tickl and run out of room. Curses. TessTickle? Nah, you hate having to resort to that kind of formatting. Could just do Tess, you guess. But also you've noticed that it is a male sassy cat. As a cat, he probably doesn't give too many shits about how people gender him, but for your own sake, you'll think of something less feminine.

Something cool and masculine. Eagle, since he rides around in a flying car. No, cooler. Falcon! Hmmm. You feel like there's already a Falcon who drives a flying car. And probably punches stuff. You can't put your finger on it, but you definitely feel like you know someone like that. Hmmm.

Hawk? Hell yeah, Hawk! That's cool as hell. From now on, the sassy cat's name is--

"I think he looks like a Michael," your grandma interrupts.

"Michael?"

"Yes, he's definitely a Michael."

Seriously? You already had your heart set on "Hawk". But you look at your sweet little old grandma and you just can't turn down her suggestion.

"Okay, he can be Michael Hawk," you concede. "Do you like that, little guy?"

Michael mulls it over, then finally gives you a smile and nod.

"Alright world," you announce, "everyone get a load of Mike Hawk !"
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2b6132cd.jpg

A mother passing by on the sidewalk ushers her children away in a hurry. You don't know what that's about, but you and Mike Hawk are pumped up!