This is awful to hear man, I had lost my grandma about 3 weeks ago. I was helping my mom through the process. She went from a fall in november that the assisted living facility didn't catch for 24 hours, to a rehab where she just stayed in bed and got a pressure ulcer that progressed unstaged to basically stage 4.
She was refusing to eat or drink at the time and my grandma actually yelled at me at the time to stop bothering her when I was begging/joking with her to eat. She apologized afterwards and said she loved me and I told her I understood.
4 weeks ago we put her in hospice care with the doctor telling us she had 3 months to live since she was refusing to eat and drink or barely had anything. Then like 6 days later doctor tells us she has 48 hours left to live. She died within 24 hours. I was there for the last 16ish or so and my whole family was there for her final breath.
At the time we got the notice my mom told me I could just go home and sleep and come by in the morning. I had honestly considered it, but I told myself if she passed away during the night how much I would regret it. So I went to be with my grandma trading an hour of sleep or so with my mom throughout the night.
It's not a fun process, especially when your mom is in basically shambles over the whole thing. Hearing her sing lullabies to her and remembering it still brings a tear to my eye as I recall it now.
My brother managed to come by early in the morning and was with her. I took some candid photos that I think look absolutely beautiful showing my mom singing to my grandma and my brother holding her hand, but I don't think I can ever share the photos with them of the moment. About 15 minutes after that photo she passed away.
For us, she opened her eyes and acknowledged us, and we all said how much we loved her and it's ok we're all safe and will be safe and thanks for everything she had done. Then she took a breath, closed her eyes and stopped breathing. I took her pulse which was very thready and went to go get a nurse who then pronounced the official time of death about five minutes after.
My only advice for you is, while it may be troubling times, tell yourself constantly, will not doing something you need to do be a regret in the future? If so, do it. I absolutely would've been depressed if I didn't stay with my mom overnight taking turns watching grandma. Or being there for her in her final moments.
Also I know you're not the only one who is around your mom currently. But if she starts breathing ragged that means the time is close. A doctor's timing of 72 hours is pretty damn accurate. Just being there can be a great comfort at a time when someone doesn't know what will happen when they pass away. Don't let their last moment be a terrified or lonely one.
In terms of grief...I don't know how to really word it or prepare you for it, but the only thing I can say is you'll really miss the person a lot. When she passed we all had a family meal together, and when we cremated her we had grandma's favorite meal. A simple cheeseburger and a milkshake from mcdonalds.
Just know the world will move on while time still feels stopped for you. You'll kind of be upset that everything is continuing when something horrible happened to someone you loved, and I still have to come to grips with that. The first week will be the hardest, and even now after 3ish weeks or so from her passing it still makes me cry to think about it. I think after the first month I'll feel a little better but it'll hurt to remember the moment.
If you can, just record the stories you tell her. If she ever does talk, maybe record those moments too. It doesn't have to be a video, but it'll mean so much later on even if it brings a lot of pain. Or record the moments of family sharing with her.
[05:45:34] I bought an American L and it was like a tent