Solid_Sonic posted...
I'm just tired of thinking that I'm always under scrutiny and that maintaining civility trumps how I actually feel.
Even now I'm coping with that sensation one feels the following morning when they went to bed with the weight of something pissing them off. I'm interacting with everyone around me in a calm and adult manner yet I feel like something inside is teetering on the verge of being rude and agitated.
Let me guess, customer service and/or call desk job? One thing I learned when dealing with customer service jobs is to have an outlet where you're allowed to let your anger out as you build it up during the day/week/month. Mines was buying a punching bag and letting it all out with the mock up of the person face I disliked. It will also really help to have friends/family/professional that you can share this stuff with but also make sure they're not simply "yes" people so they can call out if they feel you're out of line. Trust me when I say, I was a pretty hot head when I was young and it took me awhile to find a way to balance it out, especially when I'm in a Senior Managerial position. You absolutely though should not lash it out in public with strangers though, only bad outcomes can come out from it.