What's the optimal way to grieve? Trying to speedrun this I need tips

My dad passed away nearly 2 years ago now, and my mom about 4 years ago. They werent good people so I seemingly got over it quickly.
But every few months therell be a random stint of about a week where it feels like they just died.

Im in the middle of said week. It started a few days ago when I had a dream that my mom came knocking on my door to tell me that she wasnt actually dead, that it was all a misunderstanding. I ran to hug her in the dream, but she was seemingly always one step away. I woke up a crying mess.

Now Ive been angry and sad all week. Wishing I had normal parents who were alive, cause maybe Id be less lonely.
Very emo, yes. Is this normal or can I get better coping habits than trying my best to ignore it as much as I can.

Also heres some Pinkglow Pineapple I got at the store the other day. Its really DAMN good you should try it u havent already. GMOs ftw.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e36832fe.jpg

you can't speedrun grief, in fact, you need to take it slow. the pineapple might help, idk

i changed my mind about the pineapple, it looks like meat, and its lies anger me

I thought that was prosciutto.

Condolences.

viewmaster_pi posted...

you can't speedrun grief, in fact, you need to take it slow. the pineapple might help, idk

Its been years though, also how does one take it slow. Cause this feels slow

viewmaster_pi posted...

i changed my mind about the pineapple, it looks like meat, and its lies anger me

Wtf leave my fruit ham outta this

Crono99 posted...

It's not "emo" at all it's just you being human

Take your time

Its been 4 years, feels like a lotta time to me

ImAMarvel posted...

This.

I'd say you should probably speak to a therapist about it if you haven't already. No one on CE is probably equipped to help you out with this, if I'm being honest. lol

Been there, done that. Therapy did help me a lot, it turned me from a nonfunctional anxious wreck into a functional member of society.

Im just getting some feelers if this is normal

Best way to speedrun it is by seeing a therapist.

modena posted...

I thought that was prosciutto.

Condolences.

Its okay the GMO forgives you for your mistake

Kbler-Ross wasn't completely full of shit, but her "stages of grieving" schtick is not a rule set in stone.

People don't move through emotions in orderly and logical fashion.

You might be angry one day, depressed another, then back to angry.

Grief is a complicated, multifaceted, and ultimately lifelong process, especially considering the weight of the relationships with the people in question.

tldr: No, and it sucks, but it's not unusual.

Hyena_Of_Ice posted...

Best way to speedrun it is by seeing a therapist.

So its not normal?

cuh posted...

I am new to this. My mom passed just two Sundays ago and Ive been stable, I think, I went back to work this week, but today I walked past the Mothers Day card section at Target and started crying :(

That's also 100% understandable.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Serious note, I will 100% not get over grieving in all forms. But what I can do is hold my promise to keep this place going, take care of the property and such and not bend the knee if the banks or IRS get a wiff of the shit they left behind...

My mom died nearly 20 years ago when I was 15. I had a very vivid dream maybe 6 months ago that it was all a mistake, that she had been ill but finally got better. It was really difficult to shake away from how that dream made me feel despite the fact that I really haven't been "sad" about her in like 18 years. I don't even feel like I remember her all that well at this point. I'm older now than she was when she passed.

Grief tends to hit me later on. I lost my grandfather on my dad's side due to COVID and I remember it took me a few days before I started to cry.

I also agree on the "stages of grief" thing someone else said. Seen too many true crime dramas where the suspicion starts with "this person isn't acting like a grieving widow". Too many people tend to act like armchair psychologists with this kind of thing, forgetting folks are not cookie-cutter humans.

Yeah sometimes I get dreams where my dad is alive and I get confused in the dream thinking that is was all a misunderstanding as well, it's weird.

If you ever need to talk or anything lemme know TC. My Pop died a long time ago and I don't really remember grieving a ton outside of the funeral and the surrounding weeks. 2 of my uncles died within a year of each other (1 just died a couple days ago) and I don't feel anything. So I gotta be a contender for any% grieving WR.