teep_ posted...
I used to actively dislike myself, but now I'm more neutral on me as a person. But the fact that people see positive qualities in me to the point where they try to actively befriend me/show some sort of affection towards me, still confuses me sometimes
It comes as a surprise to me sometimes as well. My graduating class that I grew up with was really toxic (most of my friends were either 2 years older or 2 years younger than me). And while I was never "bad" at making friends, it was enough to make me self conscious and I went about life assuming most people wouldn't be interested in being friends with me. I carried that with me through my 20s -- still wasn't bad at making friends, but I was always cautious about it because of younger experiences.
Suddenly in my 30s I somehow became a social butterfly.... Oddly as a night shift worker where I don't get to see any girls for most of my shift, I started noticing all kinds of attention from girls when I did see them. It feels great but at the same time it doesn't feel like it should be happening. Like I don't deserve it or something.