Funeral worker breaks into dead man's apartment to steal his sex doll

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Current Events » Funeral worker breaks into dead man's apartment to steal his sex doll
nocturnal_traveler posted...
If I was the judge I'd give him a light sentence. The shame and embarrassment is already a pretty hefty punishment.

Breaking and entering, as well as (probably) performing sex acts with someone else's possessions. Idk, this doesn't sound like something that only warrants a slap on the wrist. It's either an outright sex crime, or it's borderline. Nevermind that b&e is a pretty serious offense in itself.
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DrizztLink posted...
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Master_Kazuya posted...
It must have been embarrassing to get caught, he's probably gonna take this secret to the grave
He couldn't even take this secret to the bedroom.
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Smackems posted...
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Plowher Heist
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More than a few. Realdolls are like 8k.
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BurmesePenguin posted...
Booo!

Uhh...The Italian Handjob?
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masterpug53 posted...
Uhh...The Italian Handjob?

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masterpug53 posted...
Uhh...The Italian Handjob?
Good.
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the doll is being tested for DNA
This seems hilariously unnecessary, but I guess CSI: Nebraska probably doesn't get that much action lol
According to court documents, Smith was one of two people who came to collect the deceased Friday afternoon after a natural death at a residence near 144th Street and Giles Road.
Later that day, Smith contacted the property manager saying the Sarpy County Sheriffs Office had asked him to collect a life-sized sex doll that had been found at the scene so that it could be swabbed for a biopsy.

I was wondering how he even knew it was there, but this answers that question. Sounds like it was love at first sight. But a biopsy? Pretty sure they could get whatever they needed from the body. Dude's lame with the excuses.

The documents state that Smith left, saying he would return with a warrant for the doll.

Oh lawdy. He shoulda just put one of those on layaway instead of making a scene like this.

nocturnal_traveler posted...
If I was the judge I'd give him a light sentence. The shame and embarrassment is already a pretty hefty punishment.

I don't think the dude is even capable of feeling shame, considering the bullshit he pulled to try to get this thing.
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Current Events » Funeral worker breaks into dead man's apartment to steal his sex doll
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