Are you going to send your parent(s) to a home?

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Current Events » Are you going to send your parent(s) to a home?
Ultima_Fury
07/07/2023
02:28 AM
#1
Those of you who still have parent(s) that are still around. Will you continue to let them live at their house without supervision when they get old or are you going to have them sent to a retirement home?
Bass
07/07/2023
02:31 AM
#2
No, they can even live with me, I don't care. They let me stay with them as long as they want so I'd do the same. The only way I'd send them is if they needed help I couldn't provide.
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firedoom666
07/07/2023
02:39 AM
#3
It depends on how they are. Luckily there is probably another 25ish years before I have to worry about it.

Though all my grandparents got dementia in the final years, and in those cases it is much better to get them somewhere where professionals can take care of them
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kingdrake2
07/07/2023
02:47 AM
#4
if i'm alive for a long time. rather not let my roommate end up in a home.
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flussence
07/07/2023
02:53 AM
#5
I hope to be entirely no-contact before this ever becomes a concern.
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Ultima_Fury
07/08/2023
09:15 PM
#6
Bump
Glob
07/08/2023
09:18 PM
#7
Mine are both dead but I was estranged from them for years before that happened. If theyd have got to the point where they needed somebody to look after them, it sure as shit wouldnt have been me.
Ivany2008
07/08/2023
09:19 PM
#8
Eventually. My parents are getting older. Then again, if I'm being honest, I would rather just pay for a nurse to do daily visits. It won't be for a long time, at least 10 years unless something happens.
Unsuprised_Pika
07/08/2023
09:20 PM
#9
I don't think I am capable of being a primary caretaker for multiple reasons.

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boomgetchopped3
07/08/2023
09:20 PM
#10
Mine are almost 70. My dad is 67 mom is 65. They are super capable tho. God, I havent even thought about it. Fuck aging sucks
Trumpo
07/08/2023
09:23 PM
#11
No
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CommonStar
07/08/2023
09:23 PM
#12
My mom can live with me but I am absolutely sending my dad to a home though. He has many health issues, anger issues, and refuses to clean after himself. I will not be dealing with that.
masticatingman
07/08/2023
09:23 PM
#13
Theyll likely be like my dads parents, who never went to one.

To/fro from-towards
The_X_Dawg
07/08/2023
09:27 PM
#14
My dad is 81 and my mom 73. They are fine despite being crazy.
Tyranthraxus
07/08/2023
09:30 PM
#15
Only if they are not independent.

If they can live on their own with maybe a nurse visit twice a day that's what I'll likely do.
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Jiek_Fafn
07/08/2023
09:34 PM
#16
I'm going to need to start to figure this out soon. My dad absolutely doesn't want to and he's okay enough now to live alone but he's definitely on a gradual decline. Maybe I'll try to get him in one of those places where you live in like your own apartment, but someone comes by regularly to check up on you. His current plan is to go out on his own terms when he starts to wither away. I don't care for that

If my mom were still around they'd have definitely moved into one. She'd have loved that type of environment.
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Solid_Snake07
07/08/2023
09:34 PM
#17
She's got a house, and I think she'll have enough money to pay her bills by the time she retires. I'd rather just hire a live-in caregiver for her if it comes to that. Probably about the same price as a decent retirement home. but really just depends on what she wants.
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Carljank
07/08/2023
09:35 PM
#18
Fuck no. They let anyone work at those places
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thronedfire2
07/08/2023
09:38 PM
#19
if I have to

people who say no, I hope you have enough money to quit your job and take care of them full time or hire a 24/7 nurse
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UnholyMudcrab
07/08/2023
09:41 PM
#20
It sounds selfish of me, but I'm kinda glad they both died before I had to make that decision. My dad had a whole host of health issues and my mom had mobility problems because of a stroke, and I think she might have been in the beginning stages of dementia. If they'd lived another 10 years or so, there were some very difficult decisions that would have had to have been made.
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pretzelcoatl
07/08/2023
09:42 PM
#21
No contact. I don't live in a state where you're legally obligated, and we are not on good terms.
Glob
07/08/2023
10:31 PM
#22
pretzelcoatl posted...
No contact. I don't live in a state where you're legally obligated, and we are not on good terms.

There are states where youre legally obligated? Fuck that.
pretzelcoatl
07/08/2023
11:33 PM
#23
Glob posted...
There are states where youre legally obligated? Fuck that.
Many. It's called "fillial responsibility" and you have no choice. I'm not certain if you're obligated even if you live in a state WITHOUT these laws and your parent lives in a state that DOES. Probably depends on the state the parent resides in.
PMarth2002
07/09/2023
12:04 AM
#24
Hopefully their insurance or social security or something covers it, because I doubt I could afford it.
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pretzelcoatl
07/09/2023
12:06 AM
#25
PMarth2002 posted...
Hopefully their insurance or social security or something covers it, because I doubt I could afford it.
Get on your parents to save for their own retirement, it's wrong to expect your kid to fund it instead.
Will_VIIII
07/09/2023
12:07 AM
#26
I've made it clear that living with me isn't an option. They're in their late 70s
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pretzelcoatl
07/09/2023
12:10 AM
#27
Will_VIIII posted...
I've made it clear that living with me isn't an option. They're in their late 70s
hopefully your state agrees with that assertion.
Will_VIIII
07/09/2023
12:11 AM
#28
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws

I'm in the clear
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PMarth2002
07/09/2023
12:12 AM
#29
pretzelcoatl posted...
Get on your parents to save for their own retirement, it's wrong to expect your kid to fund it instead.

They're both retired already, dad's on disability and social security, and mom has an air force pension and social security.

I just have no idea how paying for a retirement home works. Sending them to a home makes it sound like i'd be financially responsible for it.

When money talks for the very last time, and nobody walks a step behind
When there's only one race, and that's mankind, then we shall be free
Glob
07/09/2023
01:30 AM
#30
pretzelcoatl posted...
Many. It's called "fillial responsibility" and you have no choice. I'm not certain if you're obligated even if you live in a state WITHOUT these laws and your parent lives in a state that DOES. Probably depends on the state the parent resides in.

Thats crazy. I thought the yanks were all about freedom?
BettyWhite
07/09/2023
01:34 AM
#31
My Mom has been living with me for a while. She's still able to take care of herself outside of driving and working steady. We had already agreed she would only go to a home if she gets to the point where she can't clean or feed herself.

Even then I'll try for in home care depending on costs.
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pretzelcoatl
07/09/2023
01:35 AM
#32
Glob posted...
Thats crazy. I thought the yanks were all about freedom?
Depends on the state.

If you're in a developed Western country, I would expect to see this start to gain ground if it isn't already in place. These countries have an aging population and a large percentage of people who didn't save enough for retirement. I bet in the next 15 years or so you're going to be hearing a lot more about this.
Glob
07/09/2023
01:39 AM
#33
pretzelcoatl posted...
Depends on the state.

If you're in a developed Western country, I would expect to see this start to gain ground if it isn't already in place. These countries have an aging population and a large percentage of people who didn't save enough for retirement. I bet in the next 15 years or so you're going to be hearing a lot more about this.

It wont affect me either way. As Ive already said, my parents are dead. I also moved to another country so even if that was a requirement I doubt it would be enforced.

I also dont live in a developed Western country.
TeaMilk
07/09/2023
02:33 AM
#34
Yeah, probably. I'm disabled and in no condition to take care of them aside from financially.

I know my mom won't put up any resistance when she's ready, she recently had to put her 98 year old mom in one.

I feel like my dad would probably resist but I'm not in his life that much
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KStateKing17
07/09/2023
02:48 AM
#35
I plan on paying a nurse to assist, though as long as it's not too much for me to handle, I'd have them stay with me.
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Ryven
07/09/2023
04:55 AM
#36
They just bought a big house and moved in last year, they're both in their early 70's.

My mom is barely mobile and has trouble walking.

My dad is declining mentally. He apparently thought my sister and I had bought a plane. Another time he woke my mom up in the middle of the night and asked when the bus was leaving (there were no plans to go anywhere). My mom also gave him 200 bucks to go to the grocery store via a taxi. He spent hours walking home with no money and groceries.

Sigh. Id be surprised if they last even a couple of years in that house. They just hired a housecleaner. They dont mow the lawn and dont walk the dog.

Old age, man. Kind of depressing.
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Ultima_Fury
07/10/2023
02:45 PM
#37
Im going to get my mom to stop her newspaper subscription. It just accumulates in a huge pile and unread. She just watches TV 24/7.
Current Events » Are you going to send your parent(s) to a home?