"the directors expecting gratitude"
That's the thing. Getting annoyed at this stuff doesn't necessarily make a person a bigot. Some people are genuinely annoyed at being talked down to or by watching people nominate themselves for sainthood with only a passing effort being made. It's patronizing.
If you do something and you don't talk about it, that's great. That's how it should be. Be inclusive and be normal about it. If you want praise, you really have to go all out to make it something meaningful. That's not a rule of progress. That's just a general rule. You don't make valedictorian for a C+ average in storytelling and emotional connection.
Oh, my friends... It's been a long hard year. But now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God it's Christmas!