I have to get a colonoscopy >=]

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Poll of the Day » I have to get a colonoscopy >=]
Been waiting for years to finally have a doctor give me one. I'm getting an endoscopy at the same time.

I'm gonna get spit roasted by cameras
problems shitting ?

Jkd91 posted...
problems shitting ?

Digestive issues in general since I was young. But apparently doctors don't want to do colonoscopies on young people even if they're in medical distress so it's taken me forever to get recommended for one.
The actual procedure is nothing at all. They give you drugs, you fall asleep, you wake up back in the recovery room, you fart a lot. That's it.

The real nasty part is the prep. The day before the procedure you're not allowed to eat anything and you have to start taking tons of laxatives and pooping your brains out. You're not going to get any sleep because your whole night will be spent on the toilet.
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum,
Minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
I'll give you one
If you rise up to heaven I'll turn the sun to blind you
If you sleep deep in hell I have chains to bind you
captpackrat posted...
The actual procedure is nothing at all. They give you drugs, you fall asleep, you wake up back in the recovery room, you fart a lot. That's it.

The real nasty part is the prep. The day before the procedure you're not allowed to eat anything and you have to start taking tons of laxatives and pooping your brains out. You're not going to get any sleep because your whole night will be spent on the toilet.

I'm barely eating anything anyways. I can eat maybe 800-1000 calories a day if I'm lucky rn so that won't really be an issue. I'll be glad to get fucking cleared out. I'll just drink Ensure all day.

I'm planning to do prep on a Thursday, procedure on Friday then weekend to relax.
MeatiestMeatus posted...
I'll give you one
You hussy!
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
A pickpocket snatches your watch.
You should pay per view live stream it on the of site.
Arrgh. Is this the end of lovable Igniz? Why!? There was no way I could lose! Why!? Why!?
The prep isn't as bad as people make it out to be. You can't eat for a day or whatever that's no problem. The drink is cloying and you get runny shits after but I can only imagine the people who think this process is difficult have never faced any real adversity or they just have a hard time managing uncomfortable situations. It's not a big deal.

And like packie said the procedure is nothing they knock you out and you get a nice nap in, wake up and it's done.
As long as the techs high five over your comatose body its all good.
She/her
SwollenColon posted...
The prep isn't as bad as people make it out to be. You can't eat for a day or whatever that's no problem. The drink is cloying and you get runny shits after but I can only imagine the people who think this process is difficult have never faced any real adversity or they just have a hard time managing uncomfortable situations. It's not a big deal.

And like packie said the procedure is nothing they knock you out and you get a nice nap in, wake up and it's done.

I have nothing but constipation with liquid shits every day. I haven't had a solid shit in like 10 years. So this prep is not going to matter to me lmao
Melody_JR posted...
As long as the techs high five over your comatose body its all good.

That makes it canon for sure
https://youtu.be/O96rQt2GwUs

You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society.
Jen0125 posted...
I have nothing but constipation with liquid shits every day. I haven't had a solid shit in like 10 years. So this prep is not going to matter to me lmao


when I'm stupid enough to drink energy drinks well also consuming chocolate leads liquid poops
Having a goal is good, but don't let your goal depress you. Goals are meant to inspire.
SwollenColon posted...
The prep isn't as bad as people make it out to be. You can't eat for a day or whatever that's no problem. The drink is cloying and you get runny shits after but I can only imagine the people who think this process is difficult have never faced any real adversity or they just have a hard time managing uncomfortable situations. It's not a big deal.

And like packie said the procedure is nothing they knock you out and you get a nice nap in, wake up and it's done.
Username checks out
MICHALECOLE posted...
Username checks out
Lol
*walks away*
Jen0125 posted...
Digestive issues in general since I was young. But apparently doctors don't want to do colonoscopies on young people even if they're in medical distress so it's taken me forever to get recommended for one.

I got one when I was like 10 because I said my ass felt weird every time I went outside for recess. Like a feeling of a messy bottom even though you've wiped.

I cannot recall what ever came of this, but man that was rough only because of the preparation you need to do.

I've had one as an adult because of actual, serious colon issues and it wasn't nearly as bad, though I didn't prepare as much as I thought because the doctors notes said "COLON WAS NOT PROPERLY PREPARED!!!"
I did my procedure awake cuz I had to drive myself to the hospital and then go back to work after lol there's no way people who get put to sleep don't insta-relieve themselves during the process. I was fighting for my life in the beginning. Pretty sure the nurses clean you up in your little cubicle afterwards. My prep was no eating and then a self administered douche.
I love the Power Glove. It's so bad ---
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Jen0125 posted...
I have nothing but constipation with liquid shits every day. I haven't had a solid shit in like 10 years. So this prep is not going to matter to me lmao

Wouldnt it be fire if the prep made you have full solid dumps? Like the stinkiest irony?
She/her
I had one about 2 years ago, I actually didn't find the prep so bad. It's satisfying to start shitting yellowish brown water, it's like a juice cleanse except for a real medical purpose.
http://i.imgur.com/1XbPahR.png
Melody_JR posted...
Wouldnt it be fire if the prep made you have full solid dumps? Like the stinkiest irony?

i don't even know how my colon would react to a solid shit atp lmao

Blightzkrieg posted...
I had one about 2 years ago, I actually didn't find the prep so bad. It's satisfying to start shitting yellowish brown water, it's like a juice cleanse except for a real medical purpose.


that's pretty much what mine looks like now so i'm not afraid
Jen0125 posted...
i don't even know how my colon would react to a solid shit atp lmao
I imagine it's like that bit in Gears of War 2 where they chainsaw a worm to death from the inside
http://i.imgur.com/1XbPahR.png
Jen0125 posted...
I'm gonna get spit roasted by cameras
this is the worst sentence i've read in at least a week, congrats
https://imgur.com/LabbRyN
raytan and Kana are on opposite ends of the Awesome Spectrum.
agesboy posted...
this is the worst sentence i've read in at least a week, congrats
I read that sentence and thought, this is why I love Jen
agesboy posted...
this is the worst sentence i've read in at least a week, congrats

Yayy
I will refrain from saying what I think of such a sentence.
girls like my fa
MICHALECOLE posted...
I read that sentence and thought, this is why I love Jen

ReturnOfFa posted...
I will refrain from saying what I think of such a sentence.


hehehe
Jen0125 posted...
hehehe
You're going to rock that colonoscopy

My movements are pretty uhhh, all over the place. I've done a lactose breath test so I know that I'm lactose-intolerant, I need to continue cutting out small amounts of lactose. idk what else be going on down there though. Just do my best and keep it fresh.
girls like my fa
I had one about 5 years ago. The prep wasn't that bad imo, but whatever drug they gave me didn't knock me out at all, just made me feel very relaxed. Was a bit painful toward the end of the procedure.

Hopefully its nothing serious. For me, it was celiac disease.
CFN: DDRgasm
i still haven't had one but i really should since i'm a dude over 30........
https://imgur.com/LabbRyN
raytan and Kana are on opposite ends of the Awesome Spectrum.
agesboy posted...
i still haven't had one but i really should since i'm a dude over 30........
Unless you have a medical condition, you don't need a routine colonoscopy until age 50. And then every 10 years unless they find something.
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum,
Minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
I've had several, as well as an endoscopy. It's not a big deal really, I find the no eating and then the prep the morning of to be the rough parts. Did you know in some countries they don't put you under for it? >_>
How quaint.
captpackrat posted...
Unless you have a medical condition, you don't need a routine colonoscopy until age 50. And then every 10 years unless they find something.
They've lowered the recommended age for first routine exam to 45. There's been an uptick in colorectal cancer in younger adults in recent years.
The really nasty one is the cystoscopy. Especially if you're a guy.

That's where they take a look at your bladder. And there's only one way in...
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum,
Minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
My grandmother died from a botched one, I know you aren't elderly but idk, something to think about?
captpackrat posted...
Unless you have a medical condition, you don't need a routine colonoscopy until age 50. And then every 10 years unless they find something.
aw shit yea thanks for letting me put it off more

(i probably still should get one)
https://imgur.com/LabbRyN
raytan and Kana are on opposite ends of the Awesome Spectrum.
SwollenColon posted...
They've lowered the recommended age for first routine exam to 45. There's been an uptick in colorectal cancer in younger adults in recent years.

Im 48 and havnt had one yet. I go pretty regularly and everything looks pretty normal.

My pee on the other hand is dark yellow and stinks to high hell.
Good luck! I hope everything works out.
"You don't need a reason to help people." -Zidane Tribal of Final Fantasy IX
the procedure itself is fine, just falling asleep and waking up without noticing anything

the prep is the only annoying part
Take me for what I am -- who I was meant to be.
And if you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me.
Occupy_This posted...
My pee on the other hand is dark yellow and stinks to high hell.

You're dehydrated. Start drinking more water, or else you'll be on your way to a kidney stone.
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum,
Minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
@Jen0125 Is it scheduled for soon!?
girls like my fa
ReturnOfFa posted...
@Jen0125 Is it scheduled for soon!?

No I have to wait 6-8 weeks for insurance to approve it because private healthcare is much faster than socialized healthcare. :)
captpackrat posted...
You're dehydrated. Start drinking more water, or else you'll be on your way to a kidney stone.

I drink a ton of water and it doesnt do anything. Dr doesnt have a clue either.
Occupy_This posted...
I drink a ton of water and it doesnt do anything. Dr doesnt have a clue either.
see another doctor
girls like my fa
Occupy_This posted...
I drink a ton of water and it doesnt do anything. Dr doesnt have a clue either.

bruh

get your liver tested asap
Take me for what I am -- who I was meant to be.
And if you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me.
Reminds me of the Patrice O'Neal bit where he talks about his wife figuring out he had diabetes because his urine tasted "like birthday cake".
girls like my fa
Jen0125 posted...
Digestive issues in general since I was young. But apparently doctors don't want to do colonoscopies on young people even if they're in medical distress so it's taken me forever to get recommended for one.

Gotta say the right things to get them to do it. I told them I have some blood when I wipe (very rarely) and my doc was like well that's good enough for me to refer you. I had been having weird indigestion for 4 or 5 months at that point and all other testing had been negative.

Jen0125 posted...
I have nothing but constipation with liquid shits every day. I haven't had a solid shit in like 10 years. So this prep is not going to matter to me lmao

I feel like this is more than enough to warrant at least a colonoscopy.

Prep is not terrible but just super inconvenient bc you'll be shitting or feel like shitting every 5-10 mins.

Idk what happened during my upper and lower endoscopy but it basically cured my indigestion issue. It hasn't come back and I got scoped in 2021. Plus the anesthesia felt great lol
http://i.imgur.com/2Q46wvY.png
I made Erik_P admit he's wrong on 5/28/16.
Super_Thug44 posted...
Gotta say the right things to get them to do it. I told them I have some blood when I wipe (very rarely) and my doc was like well that's good enough for me to refer you. I had been having weird indigestion for 4 or 5 months at that point and all other testing had been negative.

If you saw my medical records you'd see I've been saying the right things for years. It's really difficult as a woman to get almost any type of needed healthcare in this country.
Poll of the Day » I have to get a colonoscopy >=]